| Season 1, episode 2|
| Written &|
"The Great Train Robbery"
Witch House is the second episode in the first season of Fantendo Now. It is the second episode overall.
In the country side, Unten and Strafe find a witch's house, who invites them in. It is discovered that she has tools for eating humans and Unten and Strafe slowly begin to work a plan to escape the witch's house.
Written by Exotoro
The episode begins with Unten and Strafe hopping off the train as it stops for repairs. They are still seemingly in a forest.
- Unten: Well, here we go.
- Strafe: How far away is civilization, do you reckon?
- Unten: I dunno.
- Strafe: Well, the forest is nice, at least.
Strafe crouches over to a bright pink mushroom. Unten slaps him on the back.
- Unten: Don’t eat any mushrooms.
- Strafe: But I’m starving.
- Unten: Can’t risk the chance. Who knows what’s out here.
- Strafe: Why didn’t we just head to New York or Seattle or wherever we were going?
- Unten: I suppose that would have been a better idea… I just figured… huh.
- Strafe: Well it’s still stopped…
- Unten: Fine then. Let’s go back.
Strafe and Unten walk back, only to find that the train has left.
- Strafe: Blimey.
- Unten: How did we not even hear it leave?
- Strafe: Hey, do you see that in the distance?
- Unten: Yeah… looks like a house. Like one of those little Keebler elf houses.
- Strafe: Let’s check it out, shall we?
Strafe knocks on the door. The door opens suddenly, with a head of a little girl poking out. She then notices Strafe and Unten and smiles.
- Little Girl: Hi! Are you two lost?
- Unten: Yeah… my fault really.
- Little Girl: Not a problem. Why don’t you two just come on in…
Strafe crouches in, finding the house a lot bigger inside than the outside. He brushes himself off.
- Strafe: Huh. A lot bigger than what I was expecting.
- Unten: I’m stuck.
Unten’s frame is wedged in the doorway. Strafe pulls him in.
- Strafe: Seems like you need to loose some weight.
- Unten: Shut up, you starved in a desert with a bunch of murderous maniacs.
- Little Girl: Are you guys hungry? Can I get you something to eat maybe?
- Strafe: Shi- Sure, yeah, that sounds good.
The little girl goes down to the basement as Strafe and Unten take seats at a checkerboard table.
- Strafe: Hmm.
Strafe taps on the wooden wall.
- Strafe: I wonder how she pulled it off…
- Unten: With the amount of shit that gets pulled off on Earth lately, this impresses you?
- Strafe: What can I say? I’m a sucker for compact space.
- Unten: I wonder if it’s magic or something like that. Like maybe she’s a witch or something.
- Strafe: Maybe you’re onto something…
The witch comes back up with two plates of waffles. Strafe shrugs to Unten.
- Strafe: Well, that was nice.
- Unten: Yeah, these were pretty good. What’s your name?
- Little Girl: Edith.
- Unten: Oh!
- Edith: Something wrong?
- Unten: No! Just uh… my alien heart collapsed a couple valves there.
- Edith: You are rather plump…
Edith pokes Unten’s stomach as he uneasily looks to Strafe.
- Edith: I’m going to take a nap, I’m pretty tired…
Edith drops to the floor without further word. Unten and Strafe look in shock as they creep away from the table.
- Unten: (whispering) I’m going down to the basement. You watch her.
- Strafe: Baby sitting? Ugh.
Unten steps down into the basement to find PalmMan chained to the wall.
- Unten: PalmMan?
- PalmMan: Oh hey, you know me?
- Unten: I guessed.
- PalmMan: Oh. Could you let me down from here? The little girl said we were playing a game and then she just left for a really long time and I don’t get what’s exactly going on.
- Unten: What kind of game involves chaining people to a wall? Jeez, let me get you down from there.
Unten gets PalmMan down from the wall. Unten notices a bunch of knives on the wall with an giant pot below it. On a small table next to it is Paula Deen’s “How to Cook A Human”. Unten snaps back to focus and the two head up out of the basement to find Strafe.
- Unten: Strafe, we have to go.
- Strafe: Why?
- Unten: I can piece together context clues. Pretty sure she’s trying to fatten us up to eat us.
- Strafe: Oh!
Strafe, Unten and PalmMan leave, slamming the door behind them. Edith wakes up and finds that they’re gone.
- Edith: Guys… come back! I just wanted… friends…
Edith sobs onto the floor as the camera pans to a picture of Edith with her parents, which has ash around the frame. We also see a witch hat next to the picture.
|The Great Train Robbery • Witch House • Metamorphosis • Singing and Dancing • Halal and Hotdogs • Another One • Bermuda Bermuda • The Apprentice • Crash • Xerox • 3.14 Neon • PalmMan in Miami • Bad Vibes • City of Flames • Prom Night|
|Settling into Boltzmann|