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Wart Hart

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Wart Hart is the second issue of Super (Duper)Mario . It's story revolves around the gang visiting Dream Land or something. Plus, ostriches.


A week after Coping with Insanity, Mario struggles to fit in in the Mushroom Kingdom. He and Loogie rent an apartment and live out their daily lives. Meanwhile, Peach goes insane and becomes a very creepy stalker starting to obsess over Mario. As Mario drives to his job(s) Peach appears in the back seat and leaps onto Mario. He crashes as Peach narrowly escapes. Peach's eyes turn derpy as she calls 911. Loogie hears the news and anxiously asks if he's dead, saddened by the fact that he is not even injured that bad.  Mario wakes up to hear from the doctor that Peach told him that, "An oil spill happened". Mario starts to correct Peach, when her eyes turn red and she pulls out a knife. Mario leaps back into his bed, to learn that all he needs is new tooth as he lost one in the crash. To numb the pain, the dentists give him Laughing Gas.

Mario hallucinates and becomes very sleepy. As they go home, Mario goes to Toad's House. After kissing Toad on the lips passionaletly saying, "Heeeyyy, Pauline." He crashes on Toad's Couch and starts to imagine things. A frusterated middle-aged man with wings(a supposed fairy) picks up Mario against his will and throws him into a portal. Mario lands in a strange land with curtains. After Master Hand picks up Mario's friends, the team is ready. The middle-aged man hops out of a shadowy corner, leaving Mario jumping over the fourth wall into a new land instead of the world he was supposed to go to.

The hero wakes up with egg yolk on him and sees a pink ostricth. It charges forward to attack and Mario grabs a sharp carrot and throws it at the ostrich. Mario picks up it's ID, seeing that is was named Birdo and that it worked for a villainous king named Wart. Realizing he has no life here, he seeks to apply for work there and follows the address. He knocks on the door only to be attacked by Birdo again. Realizing it his harmless and just spits regular eggs at you, he gets a squash and knocks the animal out again. However, Wart had answered the door and saw what Mario had done. He captures him and locks him up in his dungeon.  After realizing the guard is a mouse, he beats it up and retrieves the key.  Upon exiting he sees a three-headed snake painted red in a cage and runs away, only for the readers to learn it was really three red snakes close together.

The next morning, Mario is woken up by Loogie, Toad, and Peach. They break him out and explain they had all followed Mario. He asks why they weren't there sooner, only for Toad to drop a box of leftover steak and a backpack of souveniers. Mario is not amused, but ends up joining them as they escape Wart's castle. However, Loogie sees a Yoshi and demonically chases after it chanting "YOSHI,YOSHI,YOSHI,YOSHI". The 3 others chase him out a door and end up in the desert. Wart challenges them for a battle to see who takes control of Subcon in his palace in Cloud Land. Everyone is wary about traveling through 6 worlds, when Toad sees a warp pipe. They all cheat into the Cloud Land palace and find an entire arsenal of weapons. Mario picks up two samurai swords, Luigi gets a Swiss Army Knife, Toad gets a flamethrower, and Peach gets an AK-47, much to the others distain.

Upon entering the palace, they easily slay all enemies in their way. They finally make it to Wart. Mario charges and slices Wart which has no effect. Wart knocks him into Luigi sending him flying as he shanks Wart, which also has no effect and Wart traps Luigi in bubbles. Luigi is suffocating and bangs on the bubble for help which is purposefully ignored by the others. Toad sets Wart on fire, only for him to breath Water on himself. Peach makes an epic speech on how everyone on the team sucks but her and how she's such an epic princess and then open fires on Wart. Wart is not even damaged and pelst her with water. She knocks Toad into the air with the carrot he was holding on to. It lands in Wart's mouth, clearly causing much pain. Mario gets a carrot and jumps up to attack but the unconcious Luigi pops from the bubble killing Mario two. Peach runs away, and Toad tires to follow but Pecah locks the door.  Toad hops up in a n epic slow-mo montage with the sharp carrot. He drops the carrot but Wart eats Toad. Wart then dies from eating too many vegetables. It is learned that Mario and Luigi just fell onto the floor. This accidentally releases a beautiful human who was kidnapped by Wart named Vanessa. She asks him out, with Mario realizing that would never happen as he snaps out of it and wakes up.

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