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- Matt (Host)
- Cruncer (Chef, pronounced "Crusher")
- Koopa Troopa (Cameraman #1)
- Paratroopa (Cameraman #2)
Team "Letter M's"
- Baby Mario
- Baby Luigi
Team "Alien Freaks"
- Mat: Hello, all! Welcome to "Total... Drama... UNIVERSE"! On this show, contestants from two video-game
universes you all should be familiar with compete for a grand prize of one... million... DOLLARS! You should meet our contestants for this rocky season! We've seperated them by teams. It's one game universe versus another game universe. Introducing first, the Letter M's team: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, Birdo, Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Toad, that fat guy over there...
- Wario: It's Wario!
- Mat: ...Waluigi, and Bowser. Those are the Letter M's. The Alien Freaks, our second team, are Pikachu,
Turtwig, Chimchar, Piplup, Snover, Aipom, Marill, H-H-H-Honchkrow, Psyduck, Munchlax, the majestic Rapidash...
(In dressing room)
- Rapidash: It's totally obvious that Mat likes me. With this fiery mane of mine, who doesn't?
(Back on set)
- Mat: ...and Gligar. Those are the Alien Freaks.
- Honchkrow: We're called Pokémon, ya know!
- Mat: Y-Y-Yes, sir. Let's go eat some grub, now. After that, you guys'll start your first challenge.
(Luigi raises his hand.)
- Mat: Yes?
- Luigi: What is the first challenge, anyway?
- Mat: Glad you asked, Luigi. Wait, no. I'm sorry you asked. You'll find out after dinner.
(Luigi raises his hand again.)
- Mat: And no, the challenge does NOT revolve around ghosts.
(Luigi puts his hand down.)
(In dressing room)
- Luigi: ... ... ... What? ... I'm scared of ghosts!
- Psyduck: Ow! My headache!
(After dinner; at the first challenge)
- Munchlax: That food tasted absolutely horrible!
- Mat: Get used to it, pal. Welcome to your first challenge, teams! It's actually very simple. Each
team chooses one of their teammates to try to jump higher than seven feet. The team who jumps highest wins. Choose your teammate, now!
- Mario: The Letter M's choose Waluigi.
- Pikachu: The so-called "Alien Freaks choose Gligar.
- Psyduck: My head hurts!
- Mat: Well, then. Let the challenge begin!
(After the challenge; at the campfire)
- Mat: The Letter M's lost that challenge. Who will be voted off tonight? The one who will be going home is ...
... ... ... Luigi! Sorry bud, but you will NOT be able to go on. Therefore, BEGONE! No million bucks for you
- Luigi: Wow, that was fast. Wait. What?
(Cruncer, the chef, takes Luigi's arm and drags him to a limmo, and throws Luigi in there.)
- Luigi: But, wait. Wait!
(The limmo drives away.)
- Luigi: WAIT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
- Mario & Daisy: LUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIGIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
- Mat: See you next time on Total... Drama... Universe!
(In dressing room; the aftermath)
- Gligar: Waluigi had no chance against my superb jumping skills on the last competition! I jumped like,
30 feet higher than he sure did!
- Rapidash: We Rapidash like Pokémon who are good jumpers... and fast runners. Gligar doesn't have good jumping abilities, he has great jumping abilities!
- Psyduck: Gligar's amazing jump cured my headache.
- Yoshi: I would've won that challenge...
- Waluigi: I can't believe I lost! Anyway, Wario, Bowser, and I voted for Luigi to go back on home.
Yeah! Believe it, foo'!
- Koopa Troopa: (To Paratroopa) We have some good footage, eh?
- Paratroopa: (To Koopa Troopa) Oh, yeah...