The Favengers

The Favengers is an upcoming blockbuster megahit movie starring Drak Dark, Sweet Eve, Ethan Reid, Taylor O'Donnell, Police Canon, and !#?&%, among many others. 

Production

Why is this section here. Don't lie to yourself - nobody cares about the production of a movie! The only thing people care about is the movie itself!

Plot

Plot Summary

Vonn Angry (played by Von Karma), his lieutenant Marina Hill, along with many other agents of the F.A.N.T.E.N.D.O. agency, (the acronym doesn't mean anything), are at a facility where tests on the Mystical Bar of Soap are being done by Dr. Doodle Foxevich. MLG Noscoper Crunchy (played by !#?&%) is keeping watch, but suddenly the soap starts glowing and forms a wormhole, with the villain Mohn Jogwai (played by Mr. Bean) emerging from it. He attaches the radioactive soap to an AK-47 using duct tape and uses it to brainwash Dr. Foxevich and MLG Noscoper Crunchy. Mohn takes over the facility and chase Vonn and his agents out, causing an OMG SO EPIC chase scene to happen.

Vonn decides to form a team to investigate and track down the Mystical Bar of Soap despite it being much more effective to just go up to Mohn and fucking shoot him in the god damn face. Agent of F.A.N.T.E.N.D.O. and ferrari expert Eve Sleeve (played by Sweet Eve) goes to persuade Dr. Ethan Reid (played by Ethan Reid) to help them use his magic tracking roses to help find the Bar of Soap, Agent Bill "I'm probably gonna die" Douhlson (played by 2 Chainz) goes to recruit Tony Dark (played by Drak Dark) to have him review Foxevich's research and other stuff that totally doesn't involve his Metal Guy suit, and Vonn himself goes to confront Taylor Swift (played by Taylor O'Donnell) and have him retrieve the Bar of Soap.

Jogwai sends Crunchy and Foxevich to obtain a magic juicebox that can be used to power a device that can tap into the Bar of Soap's full power. Meanwhile, Jogwai himself goes to the Fantendo 47th Anniversary party and starts killing random people in hopes of eventually getting them to join him. Mohn Jogwai is dumb. However his killing party is interrupted by Taylor Swift, who has donned his Captain Irelandica suit, Tony in the Metal Guy armor, and Eve Sleeve. Mohn surrenders and is taken away by the group in a helicopter, but Mohn's brother John Mogwai (played by Police Canon) attacks and uses his Hand Grenade That Conveniently Doesn't Cause Any Property Damage or Hurt Anyone to break Mohn out. He tries to persuade the group that Mohn isn't that bad, but Mohn proves him wrong and pushes John off the helicopter, only to be teleported back wearing two eyepatches, now seeing out of the third eye that appeared on his forehead.

Mohn is imprisoned on the Helicarrier as the group is angry about things. Eve finds out her love Crunchy is mind controlled, (as well as Foxevich but nobody likes him,) Vonn reveals that leader of all secret agencies and proffesional douchebag in a chair Lew Moshi plans to use the Bar of Soap for nuclear weapons, and Tony can't find his potato chips. It all goes to shit when Ethan finds John watching a tv sitcom called The Goose Show. Ethan expresses his utter hatred of The Goose Show before transforming into a muscly man called Funk. As Funk, Ethan's skin becomes reddish purple and his arms transform into big muscly ones, and a fedora materializes on his head.

Funk #wrecks everything, desperately trying to kill John for no real reason. This inadvertently causes Mohn's jail cell to break, and Mohn breaks out trapping John in an escape pod and sending him flying, as well as pushing Funk off the helicarrier, transforming him back into Dr. Reid. He also murders Bill "holy shit I actually did die" Douhlson, this driving Tony and Taylor to rage despite nobody caring about Bill's character. Marina meanwhile just...kinda stands there. Vonn uses Bill's death to motivate the team but this fails since nobody cared about Bill. So he motivates Tony by telling him that he knows where his chips are, and promises the rest of The Favengers pepperoni pizzas. Eve fights the intruding Crunchy and saves him from brainwashing, and they have an intense make-out scene in front of the rest of the group, causing Tony to get jealous. Taylor gets the rest of the Favengers to suit up and they set out to kill Mohn.

Mohn uses a device made by Foxevich, which is powered by grapefruit juice and omorashi fetish fanfics, to open a wormhole, unleashing savage aliens that were never mentioned earlier in the movie upon the world. Many lives are taken, including one significant person who was wearing Nike sneakers, Gucci sunglasses, and eating Lays chips while drinking a Pepsi. He will be missed.  as Metal Guy, Captain Irelandica, Eve, and Crunchy try to fight back the aliens, John Mogwai and Ethan rejoin the group, with Ethan being able to inexplicably control his rage powers, turning into Funk at will. After an intense action sequence and Foxevich is saved from brainwashing. The aliens are defeated, Dohn is fucking blasted to death, Marina keeps the Bar of Soap under custody so that nobody can get to it, and Tony is almost swallowed by the wormhole. However, Tony is saved at the last second and comes out totally fine and totally doesn't have an entire movie follow-up dedicated to the trauma and anxiety he feels from the experience. 

The movie ends with Vonn Angry narrating on how The Favengers split up after the battle, but will inevitably join together because the producers will need the money that will inevitably come from a sequel being released. 

Obligatory Mid-Credits Scenes

In the first scene, Tony finds his potato chips, revealing that they are actually a big box of chips. The next shot is of Tony, John, Taylor, Eve, Crunchy, and Ethan eating the potato chips for almost 2 minutes straight, causing audiences everywhere to find this funny for some reason.

In the second scene, it is revealed that Mohn Jogwai's master was actually the evil Evil Dark Lord High Chancellor Kam, who monologues about stuff. 

Cast

• Drak Dark as Tony Dark/Metal Guy
• Ethan Reid as Dr. Ethan Reid/The Uptownable Funk. Cookie Monster provides the voice for him in his Funk form, with Ethan lip-syncing. 
• Sweet Eve as Eve Sleeve/Ferrari Widow Master
• !#?&% as MLG Noscoper Crunchy/Crunch Guy
• Taylor O'Donnell as Taylor Swift/Captain Irelandica
• Police Canon as John Mogwai
• Von Karma as Vonn Angry, Agent of F.A.N.T.E.N.D.O.
• Marina Rosetta as Marina Hill
• 2 Chainz as Bill "I'm probably gonna die" Douhlson
• TylerBoy911 as Dr. Doodle Foxevich
• Mr. Bean as Mohn Jogwai
• Dvorak as Lew Moshi
• Barack Obama as Bill the Tax Payer, a character in The Goose Show
• Miley Cyrus as Taxey the Bill Payer, a character in The Goose Show
• Kanye West as The Goose, a character in The Goose Show
• Marley McMittens as The Helicarrier. Motion capture was used. A lot of motion capture. 
• Icicle Illusionist as Product Placement the Character
• Kirbymariomega as Evil Dark Lord High Chancellor Kam

Sequel

A sequel is planned, titled "Favengers 2: Revenge of UltronX90." There was also a spinoff tv series nobody cared about called "Agents of F.A.N.T.E.N.D.O."