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Colonel: "Snake, you know who that is?"
Snake: "You're kidding, right? It's Mario."
Colonel: "Mario made his first appearance in 1981, and since then, he's become a worldwide phenomenon. There's probably not a single person who doesn't know Mario. He's that famous."
Snake: "Good thing I survived long enough to meet him on the field of battle, huh."
Colonel: "This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance, Snake. Now get out there and show him what you're made of. No regrets."
Snake: "Got it."
Snake: "Mei Ling, tell me what you know about Peach."
Mei Ling: "Princess Peach is the beloved ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. She's been kidnapped numerous times by Bowser."
Snake: "Sounds pretty serious."
Mei Ling: "Yes, but every time it happens, Mario ends up saving her. Sure, he may not look like your ideal 'knight in shining armor'. A little on the short side, I'd say... But still, don't you think it's romantic? I mean, to have a guy who's always there for you?"
Snake: "If he was smart, he'd tell her to stop getting kidnapped."
Mei Ling: "...You don't get a lot of dates, do you, Snake?"
Octacon: "Careful, Snake! That's King Boo you're fighting!"
Snake: "You mean the giant marshmallow in the crown?"
Octacon: "You better hope he didn't hear that. King Boo is a ghost, Snake! And he's the leader of the Boos."
Snake: "A ghost, huh? Give me something new. How'd he die?"
Octacon: "Nobody knows, but he loves the play tricks on people, as in, sending out that a person has won a mansion in a contest they haven't even entered."
Snake: "Wow, that's evil."
Snake: "Mei Ling, who's this girl?"
Mei Ling: "That's funny, it says she's Princess Zelda."
Snake: "Zelda? Are you sure it's not a mistake?"
Mei Ling: "No, I'm pretty sure. Wait, you know how Zelda transformed into Sheik, right?"
Mei Ling: "So maybe this is another transformation of her."
Snake: "Maybe, but I haven't seen any sign of Zelda from her. She doesn't even use magic like Zelda."
Mei Ling: "You might want to report us any information you can get us on this girl, Snake."