|Something Wicked Which Way Comes|
|TV Series||Kirby: Legend of The Stars|
|Writer(s)||Pyrostar (t∣b∣c) & TheFoxyRiolu (t∣b∣c)|
Something Wicked Which Way Comes is the first episode of Kirby: Legend of the Stars, and acts as the pilot episode.
The episode begins with a wide shot of space, beautiful stars twinkling as far as the eye can see. The camera settles on a small round planet, covered with rolling green hills and massive trees. A massive shadow begins engulfing the planet, however, as a massive sphere-like spaceship, nearly larger than the planet itself, begins extending large spider-like arms into the planet's surface.
The planet's natives, small yellow humanoid creatures in green armor, pull out large cannon-like weapons and begin firing on the titanic ship. However, the cannon blasts simply bounce off the hull, and the ship retaliates by blasting the inhabitants cities with massive purple beams of energy. The native army is decimate as the ship begins ejecting multiple battalions of large mechanical warriors, who easily reduce the resistance to nothing.
With the natives dead or surrendering, the ship begins creating spire-like objects and launching them into the ground. The lush grassy ground is slowly converted to metal as the remaining natives are rounded up into the ship. The camera zooms towards the to of the massive craft, shifting the scene to a plush office with a short, fat man gazing out a window at the ongoing mechanization; he snickers quietly before a small female robot enters the office.
Female Robot: Mr. Haltmann, sir?
Haltmann: What are the specs on the operation so far, Susie? You know I'm a busy man.
Susie: Yes, sir. Let's see...
Susie pulls out a small mechanical tablet.
Susie: Mechanizing Occupation Project #F-0084: Floralia. High amounts of fresh water and air, low petroleum supply, and an unusually high amount of Star Power. No damage to military capacity, and over 300,000 native inhabitants have surrendered for interment and enhancement.
Haltmann: Finally...a good M.O.P. And how's our status on refilling our ship?
Susie: Access Ark is currently at 20% power and rising, thanks to the Star Power being siphoned from Floralia. Coordinates prematurely set to our next destination, but we currently need full power to send all of Access Ark as opposed to single entities.
Haltmann: That's fine. You go with a few Robobot Armors and set up shop. I'll be with you when we reach full power.
Susie: Mr. Haltmann... This could be a mistake. Pop Star might be too much Star Power to absorb, even for the Access Ark. Are you certain that-
Haltmann: I don't believe you heard me right. We are the Haltmann Works Company! The most powerful corporate entity in the universe! Nothing can stand in our way!
As the camera pans away from Floralia and the massive spaceship, a shooting star flies across the starry expanses of space. It flies at amazing speed, and after passing by several other planets, is pulled into the orbit of a large yellow star-shaped planet. It begins glowing even brighter as it approaches the surface.
On the planet's surface, a small orange creature wearing a bandanna is staring at the stars with a telescope. It notices the shooting star and is mesmerized by it.
Orange Creature: Wow...space sure is beautiful.
He kept looking at the shooting star, noticing it getting brighter and larger over time. Questioning the bright glow, he put down his telescope temporarily to look at the star- flying directly over his head.
Orange Creature: Ack!!
He swiftly ducked, and the star sailed overhead, continuing its route and swiftly surpassing the little orange creature. It flew through meadows, canyons, and rivers before finally crashing into the side of a cliff. The glow faded as it was revealed to not be a meteor, but a small, star-shaped craft, still faintly glowing from the heat. The sun rose as the star's radiance faded, and a small pink creature fell off of the side, unconscious.
The scene shifts to a magnificent castle, the sun barely peeking up over the horizon. As the light illuminated the side of the castle, however, it shifted from picturesque to minorly threatening; spikes placed somewhat haphazardly and large windows shaped like angry eyes. Inside the castle, a small, snail-like creature rushed about the many corridors, eventually ending up inside a large dining room.
Snail: Sire! So this is where you've been this entire time!
The shouts from the snail arouse a large creature from sleep, a large penguin-like behemoth with a rotund belly and bright, royal-looking garments. He shifts off of his stomach to his hind, still groggy and tired.
Penguin: ...Mornin', doctuh.
Snail: Of course I find you in the dining room after I spend all night sorting through your mail! Kings have to keep up appearances too, ya know!
Penguin: ...Aight, aight. What's the damage this time?
Snail: We've got a lot today. Requests to change the food tax to money, more bills than I could count, a...fan mail letter, royal meeting invitations from the queen of the Sky Kingdom, your latest package from the Crowns of the Month Club...
Dedede: The great King Dedede ain't got time read all that himself. You deal wit' it, Escargoon.
Escargoon: Sire, I am a doctor, not a personal assistant!
Dedede: Ta tell the truth, Escargoon, things are gettin' borin. I need something excitin' soon!
The doors to the dining room burst open as the orange creature from before ran in, panting heavily.
Orange Creature: Guys!
Dedede: Speakin' of personal assistant... Yo, Bandanna! Go make the doctuh an' I some breakfast!
Escargoon: Sire, are you aware of the past few hours? You haven't done anything but eat all night!
Dedede: You know I'm a bottomless pit! You say so all the time!
Bandanna: *breathes in* Something crash-landed nearby, and I'm really concerned about it!
Dedede: A meteorite...hey, doctuh! Y'know what they say about meteorites?
Escargoon: ...That they're usually filled with precious metals?
Dedede, Escargoon, and Bandanna made their way out to the crash site of the supposed meteorite, which was easy to find due to both the Waddle Dee's directions and the path of destruction the crashing object left. Eventually, the trio came across the crashed star...
Dedede: Wut's this, then? Ain't nevuh seen a meteorite shaped like this.
Escargoon: That's because they don't. It's physically impossible for any natural object to be this perfectly star-shaped. Just look at how symmetrical and smooth it is!
Bandanna: But isn't Pop Star perfectly star-shaped?
Escargoon: Shut up.
Dedede began lifting up the semi-charred star-like object with massive strength, plopping it in a nearby minecart.
Dedede: Well, boys, we need ta haul this back to the castle so Goony can take a look at it. If it's this weird it oughta be worth a fortune-
Escargoon: Regardless of the actual material!
Bandanna: Let's head home!
The trio carted the star back to their castle, laughing like a pack of hyenas at the thought of the amount of money the object could be worth. Unbeknownst to them, however, the small pink creature, separated from the warmth of the star, began shivering and eventually roused itself from sleep. Still drowsy, it searched around and began following the other three, seemingly desperate to get its star back.
Meanwhile, in the depths of space, a massive screw-like object targeted the star-shaped planet of Pop Star, hurtling towards the surface at hundreds of miles per hour. Glowing red from entering the atmosphere, the screw began rotating, piercing the air and then the ground. It drilled deeper for a few seconds, then ceased movement as it cooled down.
Inside the screw, Susie and a group of small white creatures unbuckled themselves from their seats, their interstellar journey over.
Susie: Alright, men. We've arrived on planet Pop Star. We are not to engage the natives directly; we are just here to assist the contact as best we can. Kapeesh?
The horde of small creatures saluted to the female robot with a quiet noise. She turned towards a central console, pressing a large blue button; a screen appeared in midair, showing a package being delivered from the screw-like ship to Dedede's castle.
Elsewhere in Dream Land, a large woodland area is shown. This area is called the Sunlight Forest: a peaceful forest located in the outskirts of the kingdom, where dozens upon dozens of animals live happily in the natural environment.
Somewhere in the forest, likely near an area where it ends, a surprisingly big, tan-colored hamster is trudging along the soft, grassy ground, visibly arguing with a creature above him; a grey-brown owl with ruffled feathers.
Hamster: Look, don' mean to ruffle your feathers or nothing, but you really gotta stop ragging on me 'bout this stuff! It's none of your concern!
Owl: Richard, I'm trying to do you a favor for the future, and you know it. The issue at hand is that your home is filthy! Leaves and dirt is all over the floor, there are spiders making cobwebs the size of our king in your room, nothing is put away...
Rick: It's none of your business what home looks like, Coo. And don't call me Richard! It's Rick. Would it be hard to call me by my actual name for once?
Coo: Oh, Richard, you don't realize the damage you're doing to yourself.
Rick, clearly fuming, keeps trudging along, eventually reaching a clearing exiting the forest. Coo follows him out, to the hamster's disdain.
Rick: What're you doin' following me around, anyways? Don't you have anything better to do?
Coo: Aren't we friends, Richard? Friends have nice, pleasant conversations, without any unnecessary anger, mind you!
Rick: Stop calling me th—
Before Rick can retaliate, however, he stops dead in his tracks.
Coo: Fine, if it really bothers you that mu—
Rick: Quiet for a sec. Look over there.
Coo and Rick look into the distance, near a large cliff far away. Visible smoke is rising from the area.
Rick: ...what happened over there?
Coo: Best we find out ourselves, is it not?
Rick: Well, let's get a move on!
Rick dashes off, with Coo gliding through their air, both in the direction of the crash site.
In order of appearance...
- President Haltmann
- Bandanna Waddle Dee
- Dr. Escargoon
- King Dedede