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|This is an article by KirbiMiroir.|
Please do not edit unless it's fixing a grammatical error, or if you are working on it with me or my company. I hope to complete it as soon as possible! Thanks
This is KirbiMiroir's first fan fiction. As such, he has never done anything like this before. Go easy on this guy, okay? Thanks for your support.
Chapter 1: Preparation
It was an ordinary morning in Smash Mansion. As soon as Kirby woke up, smashed his alarm clock with a flaming hammer and decided what colour trainers to wear (he decided on red), he noticed there was no one downstairs.
Kirby asked Mr. Game and Watch (who was also hitting his Alarm Clock with a hammer) what was going on.
"I don't know." Mr. Game and Watch told him. "Heard everyone's outdoors today... maybe you can go and investigate."
When Kirby was out in the open, he saw three ROBs - one blue, one red and one green - alongside three picnic blankets. After weighing his options, Kirby decided to go on the blue picnic blanket with Robin, Toon Link and Zelda. Kirby then asked Zelda what was going on.
"R.O.B. described it as a sporting event." Zelda told him. "It's something..." Zelda didn't know how to put this. "Something for all the Smashers."
"Then how come there are so few Smashers?" Kirby asked her. He could only see 12 Smashers, including himself and the others on the Blue picnic blanket.
All of a sudden, a laser beam was shot into the sky, exploding as though it were a firework. A plain R.O.B. - just like the one compatible with the original NES in Europe and North America - walked up to the various picnic blankets and Smashers.
All four ROBs, including the plain one, began to shoot lasers into the sky in a rhythmic pattern. Kirby noticed that each R.O.B. shot lasers of specific colours. The plain one shot rainbow-coloured lasers, whilst the red, blue and green ones shot red, blue and green lasers, respectively. But 30 seconds later, it was over.
"Attention, all Smashers!" the plain R.O.B. said in a voice that made him sound like he was using a megaphone. "Welcome to the 1st Annual EXtreme Team Sports Smash Adventure!"
The Blue R.O.B. walked up to Kirby, Toon Link, Zelda and Robin, before giving Kirby a group of four blue ribbons.
"Here, we have the Blue Team!" the plain R.O.B. said. "Kirby, Toon Link, Zelda and Robin!" At this point, Robin had received a text from Corrin about... well, what do you think? I don't have personal info on Fire Emblem Characters!
The Red R.O.B. walked up to Pikachu, Bowser Jr, Link and Sonic, and gave them four red ribbons. The plain R.O.B. announced,
"And this is the Red Team - Pikachu, Bowser Jr, Link and Sonic!"
The Green Team - which consisted of Pit, Shulk, Jigglypuff and Mega Man - was the last to be announced. Once all three teams had been announced, Kirby looked up to see Rosalina, Peach and Palutena magically drifting down from the ceiling with the aid of Lucas and Ness.
"Oh!" the plain R.O.B. said. "And here are the team supporters!"
Rosalina went with the Blue Team, Peach joined the Red Team, and Palutena supported the Green Team, insisting to make Pit "vegetable surprise with a side of Skyworld Soup".
"What about Lucas and Ness?" Zelda asked the plain R.O.B. The two PSI-wielding boys jumped down from the ceiling of Smash Mansion.
"To be honest," Lucas told her, "We're just really annoyed by ROB's voice." The plain R.O.B. turned around and said,
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
His voice was so loud that it caused all of the Windows on the outside of Smash Mansion to crack, and made everyone's hair stand on end.
"Oh!" Ness said in panic. "N-n-nothing!" Lucas and Ness then used 4th Dimension Slip to return to their bedrooms.
"Well, that's $15000 we all need to pay to repair the Windows..." the plain R.O.B. said with a sigh. Immediately, a horde of Mr. Game and Watches turned up and started repairing the Windows, with 17 working on each window.
The ROBs got back to discussing the event. A few minutes later, the Mr. Game and Watches had finished working on the Windows, and one of them showed the plain R.O.B. how much he had to pay.
"$85!" he said in shock. He could not believe how little repairing the Windows cost, nor could he believe he got a $26 discount - just because he was hosting a tournament!
The other three ROBs ignored the discount that the plain R.O.B. had received with the window repair and decided to chat more about the tournament.
Eventually, the plain R.O.B. had finished chatting with the Mr. Game and Watches and told the teams,
"Alright, everyone! Split into your groups, put on suitably coloured outfits for your teams, and BEGIN!"
Each team walked off alongside their supporter and a suitably coloured R.O.B. Meanwhile, Robin had texted Corrin, asking for fifteen cans of unscented deodorant and for an appointment with the local Hair Dye Salon's owner. Corrin simply replied with, "No."
Chapter 2: Costume Change
In the Observatory of Smash Mansion, Robin was having his hair dyed blue by the local Hair Dye Salon's owner (who happened to be a light blue and yellow R.O.B.), Zelda (who had already changed into her blue dress) was convincing Toon Link to wear blue, and Kirby was spray-painting himself blue whilst trying on some blue trainers.
Meanwhile, Rosalina was in her library with the blue R.O.B., researching Golf (which happened to be the first sport in this tournament). At the same time, Bayonetta sneaked in, "borrowed" a book on Fire Emblem Fates, and sneaked out again.
"Let's Golf 3..." Rosalina thought. "No. Minnie Golf Theme Park 99 Holes... doesn't even have 99 holes. 3D Mini Golf Challenge..." Rosalina threw the book across the room, accidentally knocking Bayonetta unconscious.
"Ah!" she said. "The Ultimate Book on Let's Golf 2!"
When Rosalina returned to the observatory, she found that not only had everyone coloured themselves blue, but Toon Link was giving Zelda a massage and Robin had received 50 texts from Corrin. Robin simply replied with, "Shut the @/?! up".
Chapter 3: Spying
"Hey, guys!" Kirby said to his team. "I just had a crazy idea. Let's spy on the other teams!"
Toon Link was up for this. Robin texted Corrin to tell him about spying on the other teams. A few seconds later, Corrin simply replied with, "Stop".
"I'll stay here." Zelda said. "I'm going to study this golf book with Rosalina."
On this notice, Kirby, Toon Link and Robin got to spying. First, they spied on the Red Team. Here, they found that Pikachu was forcing Bowser Jr. (who was trying to re-paint his Junior Clown Car) to spray-paint him shiny, Sonic was already changed (not that he needed to change his outfit) and rushing around the room like crazy, and... where's the other team member?
Toon Link suddenly noticed Link flirting with Peach. Because Wynaut? Eventually, the three got sick of spying the Red Team, and moved from the Attic to the Kitchen in order to spy on the Green Team. And it was a mess.
Palutena was arguing with Pit about how "an angel cannot survive on breadsticks alone". Shulk was wondering what the best Monado for a golf tournament was (Palutena had found out what the first event was in advance), Mega Man was on his Game Boy Advance playing Mega Man Zero, and Jigglypuff was... sleeping?
This has gone crazy, Kirby thought. We'd best head back.
Chapter 4: Golf Practice
Kirby, Toon Link and Robin got back to the Observatory and found Zelda, tying one of the blue ribbons in a bow in her hair.
After Rosalina had explained what the ribbons were for, Kirby immediately took one and tied it around his head. He then did an impression of a martial artist, only to be stopped by Zelda.
"Kirby." she told him. "This is Smash Mansion. One does not simply put a blue headband on and gain the ability to turn things into stars and throw them."
cough * breaking the fourth wall * cough
Toon Link was working out how tight a wristband made entirely of blue ribbon should be. At the same time, Robin was texting Corrin about how "I don't get why we need these ribbons to point out which team we're from."
After tying his "wristband" on, Robin replied to Corrin's reply, by simply saying,
"Golf practice. 18 seconds from now. So no texts for 12 minutes."
Corrin immediately replied with, "Where are you practicing?" Robin said, "The grounds directly in front of the Anti-Counterattack Posters". Corrin responded to this by turning into a mutant dragon and flying out of his bedroom window.
Later, directly in front of the Anti-Counterattack Posters...
All four members of the Blue Team, as well as Rosalina and Corrin, had met up with each other at exactly 12 noon. Rosalina threw out six copies of "The Ultimate Guide to Let's Golf 2" by Vincent Albatross, all of which had been enchanted with a spell that allowed people to jump in and explore a whole new world!
Inside the book, all six Smashers were given four Golf Clubs and a notepad with tips on golfing. Afterwards, they were warped back out and began to read the book together.
Let's Golf is all about having fun in a highly competitive Golf Tournament! There are eight characters. All of them have their own ability. Try and master them all!
"Hey..." Kirby said with a smile on his face. "Let's try making our own special abilities!" He paused for a moment. "No pun intended, by the way."
Rosalina took her wand out and cast a spell on the golf clubs, which had been laid out in a circle on the grass. Six golf clubs were left, and each Smasher took one. Immediately, they transformed into something - Kirby's transformed into an Ultra Sword, Toon Link's golf club became the Master Sword, Zelda's became a bow, Robin found himself holding the Levin Sword, and Corrin was carrying the Omega Yato (okay, that's what Smashpedia called it). Rosalina's golf club turned into her wand, and a small blue Luma hopped out of it.
"Let us begin!" Rosalina told the Team, and everyone began practicing.
It seemed easy enough - you swing your golf club to hit the golf ball and send it flying into the air. The group went through six rounds - whoever got their ball into the hole first would win. Quite naturally, Rosalina won the first round. Toon Link won the second round, Corrin won the third, Kirby won the fourth, Robin won the fifth and Zelda won the last round.
Sometime during their practice, Zelda had decided to split her bow into two blades that were shaped suspiciously like Golf Clubs. She glued them together whilst the rest of the group were relaxing in order to create a new golf club. Better than shooting golf balls out of a stupid old bow, she thought.
Chapter 5: Chill Time
After almost an hour of practicing their golf skills, Kirby, Toon Link, Zelda, Rosalina, Robin and Corrin ran up to Corrin's bedroom. On the way, they bumped into Lucas and Ness, who were trying to see who could complete a speed run of Mother 3 the fastest. Judging what they said, Lucas appeared to be doing better out of the two.
Corrin's room literally had everything. A blue blanket with gold stars all over it. A painting of Marth. A photo of Lucina (with Lucina's autograph written on it). A V². Even a pile of episodes of Kirby Right Back at Ya. And, believe it or not, there were video games scattered all over the floor.
"Oh. My. God." For a full minute, Kirby couldn't think of anything to say. "How can a 16 year old have this much money?" Kirby wondered if there were any snacks in the room, and noticed that Toon Link was staring at a cupboard fulled with unsettling food. Here are just some of the labels on the various containers of food...
- Mystery Bag
- Diabetes in a Box
- 90% Red Dye #12
- Wouldn't feed to my worst enemy
- Outlawed in every other country
- Even homeless people wouldn't eat
- Probably causes brain damage
- Poison in a Can
- Pink Slime
- 10% Fat
- Not sure this is even food
- Mac 'n' Cheesyohs???
"This room is insane." Toon Link said, taking out a Mac 'n' Cheesyoh (for those who have never seen Mac 'n' Cheesyohs, they're bread with butter that you heat up in the toaster. They taste like macaroni and cheese) and placing it in the toaster. "Why do you even have all this slop in your cupboard?"
By the time he had finished saying this, Zelda was snuggled up on the bed with Kirby, watching "Saru Get You - On Air". Corrin stopped for a moment, saying, "Wow... this show is so Japanese I just... can't even."
Toon Link, in response to these words, grabbed a baseball bat and said, in a volume that was almost as loud as the R.O.B. that morning...
Toon Link immediately began chasing Corrin all over the room, destroying random objects as he did. Eventually, Corrin grabbed a baseball and threw it at Toon Link.
Toon Link swatted the baseball back at Corrin. Corrin dodged, sending the baseball flying into a cupboard and causing all of the Fire Emblem action figures on the cupboard to fall over. Corrin then threw two baseballs at Toon Link, only for Toon Link to bat them back, causing them to hit Kirby and Zelda.
Eventually, Corrin decided to throw 21 baseballs and Toon Link's Master Sword, which he had put down on Corrin's bed, at Toon Link. Quite naturally, Toon Link knocked all 21 baseballs towards the food cupboard, thus destroying all of the food in the cupboard except for the Mac 'n' Cheesyohs. He then threw the baseball bat into Corrin's open hand and caught the Master Sword.
Five minutes later, the two had made up, and Rosalina had booted up the V² and was busy playing Kirby and the Distorted Realm. Quite naturally, however, everyone else wanted to play Mario Kart 9. As such, Rosalina turned the game off and helped Corrin set up MK9. Quite naturally, Rosalina shotgunned herself, while Kirby played as Dry Bones, Toon Link as Yoshi, Zelda as Peach, Robin as Koopa Troopa and Corrin as Toad. The Smashers decided to play a sort of tournament together.
Chapter 6: Main Event
After the mini-tournament of Mario Kart 9 (Rosalina won), and after Toon Link gave the team Mac 'n' Cheesyohs, the Blue Team headed out for the golf tournament. Rosalina, Peach and Palutena had been told to hand snacks to the team members, whilst Corrin was serving as a sort of referee for the event. Samus Aran walked up to a stand and spoke into a microphone in a weird monotone voice.
"Welcome to the first event of the 1st Annual EXtreme Team Sports Smash Adventure. Please step up to your team banners. The objective is to get your golf balls into the hands of the Chozo Statues on the other side of the plains. The teams are awarded points for speed and style."
The first trio of Smashers to compete in the event were Kirby, Pikachu and Pit. It was pretty simple, even though the entire field had been covered in medieval statuary. Pondering the need to cover a golf course in medieval statuary, Kirby focused on the golf and managed to get the most points for his team, despite the fact that he lost 500 points quite simply for smashing a statue of a dragon.
"Next three Smashers, step forward - Toon Link, Bowser Jr. and Shulk."At this point, everyone was sick of Samus' monologues and decided to hit her with their golf clubs.