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The Race for Coins is the third episode of Super Mario Land.
The Sarasaland village is running out of money and Mario and Luigi must get coins by winning a race with some of Tatanga's fiercest minions.
PIXELATE IN - Show Sarasaland map with centered text "THE RACE FOR COINS" in white letters.
PIXELATE OUT, to black.
PIXELATE IN - Show MARIO, LUIGI, and PRINCESS TOADSTOOL walking through the village. MARIO is carrying a bunch of metal.
MARIO: All this stuff is useless, but the blacksmith can do something with it.
LUIGI: And the best part is, we're selling this for two coins a big metal thingy!
PRINCESS: Here we are!
They walk into the building.
MARIO: Hi! We're selling metal junk. You could do with some. You are a blacksmith, correct!
BLACKSMITH: Yes, I am. But I'm afraid I can't buy your metal.
LUIGI: Why not?
BLACKSMITH: A bunch of sellers came through the village yesterday. Their deals were so good, we gave them most of our money! Now there's almost none left!
PRINCESS: That's horrible!
BLACKSMITH: If you have coins, you can buy some of this stuff. I bought it, but have no use for it.
He gestures behind him at a huge pile of stuff including a bomb (unlit of course), a toaster, a washing machine, and a statue of an alien in a ship. The camera ZOOMS IN on the statue.
MARIO: What's that?
BLACKSMITH: That's a statue of Tatanga. (gets in thinking pose) Looking back, now I can't remember why I bought it.
PRINCESS: It's like I always say--if there's a great deal on an item you don't need or want, why not save even more money and not buy it at all?
BLACKSMITH (looks glum): I'm sorry. I got caught up.
PRINCESS: I'm afraid we don't have any coins either. We were hoping you had some.
MARIO: Don't worry, Mr. Blacksmith. We'll get more coins.
LUIGI: Yeah! We saved Sarasaland once, we can do it again!
BLACKSMITH: But we need at least a million coins by tommorow or the economy will totally collapse!
PRINCESS: That never happened in the Mushroom Kingdom.
BLACKSMITH: Hey, aren't you Princess Toadstool?
BLACKSMITH: Then you know that your kingdom is much larger than ours. We can't do the stuff you can.
PRINCESS: I'm sorry. I was insensitive.
BLACKSMITH: No need to apoligize. Just please get us those coins!
PIXELATE OUT, to white.
PIXELATE IN - MARIO and LUIGI are walking along the sidewalk, looking worried.
LUIGI: How will we do this, Mario? We're never gonna work up enough coins!
MARIO: What's that? (picks up paper) "Bike Race. First prize, a million coins?!" Luigi! This is just what we need!
CHANGE IMAGE THROUGH PIXELATION - MARIO and LUIGI are on bikes, with Batadons on bikes alongside them.
MARIO: I should have known! Tatanga's minions! They were probably the merchants who took the village's money!
LUIGI: We'll show 'em!
ANNOUNCER: 3... 2... 1... GO!!!!!!
The bikes start off. Suddenly, one of the three Batadons throws a bomb at MARIO.
MARIO: Hey! That's against the rules, you Batadon botcher!
BATADON: Ha! Nothing's against the rules in this race!
BATADON: That's right! Nothing! This race is organized by Tatanga himself! He allows anything to go!
MARIO: Well, if those are the rules..!
MARIO's bike crashes into the first Batadon. It knocks the bike over.
BATADON: Curse you, Mario! I should have known you'd play a dirty trick like that!
MARIO: Sheesh. Those Batadons never learn.
They're now two and two. LUIGI's bike narrowly avoids another bomb.
He throws another bomb. MARIO catches it.
MARIO chuckles and throws the bomb. It explodes, sending the Batadon flying. The last remaining Batadon looks on with horror for a moment.
BATADON: Two against one's not fair!
He throws one more bomb. This time it makes contact, crashing MARIO to the ground.
MARIO: Yow!! Well, I guess that wasn't against the rules. But there is a difference between "fair" and "allowed."
LUIGI and the Batadon go neck and neck, nearer to the finish line. The Batadon causes LUIGI to swerve, but then LUIGI bumps the back of the Batadon's bike. They hit the finish line together.
ANNOUNCER: And thanks to slow-motion replays, we know that the winner is... LUIGI!!!!!!!!!!
BATADON: I'll get you next time, green...
PIXELATE OUT, to black.
PIXELATE IN - MARIO, LUIGI and the PRINCESS are standing in front of the Mayor's desk.
PRINCESS: This should be enough to get the village started again, Mr. Mayor.
MAYOR: Thank you so much! This is a great help!
MARIO: Thanks! (pauses) Now, that still leaves us with the question of what we do with all this metal.
LUIGI/PRINCESS: Oh, brother!
PIXELATE OUT, to black.