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Rachel vs the Future (FTAS)

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Written by Exotoro

Rachel wakes up out of a coma.

Rachel: Wow, how long have I been out?

Britt: About a week, I think.

Rachel: Well, that’s not very long.

Britt: Hey man, it’s how it works.

Rachel: Help me up.

Britt points out she’s in a wheelchair.

Rachel: Oh yeah.

-Theme song-

Unten: Welcome back, Rachel.

Rachel: So what have you guys been up to?

Ella Metals: I adopted a squirrel!

Rachel: ...why?

Ella Metals: I’m… actually not sure.

ScratchKat: I got a marshmellow shooter!

Rachel: You’re never going to use that.

ScratchKat: Damn, she’s probably right.

Rachel: Where are you keeping this stuff?

Ella and Scratch: In the basement.

Rachel: Well, keep it there.

Unten: So, we lost.

Rachel: We did? Dang.

Unten: So what should we do with the Jerseys?

Rachel grabs Unten’s hands as she grabs the Jersey and begins to flash to future, where they are burning in the trophy case.'

Rachel: Eh… put those in the basement too.

Unten: You ok? You blacked out for a minute there.

Rachel: I think… I saw the future?

Unten: What did you see?

Rachel: The tavern on fire.

Unten: Huh, that’s weird. Well, going to the basement, see ya.

Unten heads to the basement.

ScratchKat: What smells like burning?

Rachel: ...a fire.

Rachel grabs a fire extinguisher and heads into the kitchen. There is fire coming from the stove.

Rachel: Who the hell are you? And what are you doing here?

Ohama: I was trying to cook bacon for you…

Rachel sprays the fire extinguisher towards the fire. Then at Ohama.

Rachel: Get out, you runt.

Unten: Hey guys how’s it- jesus christ!

Rachel: It’s fine, I got it.

Unten: You said there would be a fire… and you were right.

Rachel: I think I can see the future!

Unten: That fire was too big of a confidence. You can tell the future.

ScratchKat: Am I going to become rich?

Rachel: I don’t even need to see the future to tell that you aren’t.

Jake: Hey, I wonder if I got a lottery ticket… be right back!


Jake: Wow, you were right! 14-44-21-30-11-22 were the right numbers!

Rachel: Yeah, you owe me some of that money.

Jake: Fine…

Rachel: Now I can fix up the bathroom that got melted.

Unten: You’re getting a plunger, right?

Rachel: I don’t have that much money, Unten. It’s either the melted bathroom or unclogging the toilet. I’d rather not deal with the shittier situation.

Faint cry from the bathroom.

Ella Metals: Hey Rachel, I’m thinking about going on a date with this guy…

Rachel grabs Ella’s hand and flashes towards to future.

Rachel: Don’t. He’s actually a serial killer.

Ella Metals: Wow, I would have never guessed!

Rachel: His name was Madnesscrazy, what part of that didn’t scream serial killer?

-Even later-

ScratchKat: Am I going to be president?

Rachel: Ugh… no. I’m going to go outside… uh, don’t go outside the tavern or you’ll all be horribly killed!

Rachel leaves the tavern.


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