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Nintendo's Team Freaks/Episode 5: Mountain Cramps

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Biggest Bogus
TV Series Nintendo's Team Freaks
Season Number Season 1
Episode Number Episode 5
Basic Plot
A Free-For-All challenge where everyone climbs the Mad-Might Mountain to reach the top and catch the flag.
Preceding Episode Biggest Bogus
Mountain Cramps is the fifth episode of Nintendo's Team Freaks and the first episode to involve a Free-For-All fight. The objective is to climb up to the mountain and get the flag. Knocked out players will be spawned back to the base, and the first one who get the flag is the winner.

Part 1

Mario was walking in circle around the room, discouraged.

Mario: (Talking to himself, quietly) Mama Mia, am-a I on a sore-a spot? Only three points, and absolutely on the last-a place! Mario, put-a some real efforts if you want to be-a best!

Sheriff and Viridi watches him, the former one worried and the latter one seems neutral.

Sheriff: Dang, how the plumber will hang out his hopes well?
Viridi: If this keep going, even his series-fellows will raise their doubts.

The camera cuts to the Mushroom Kingdom, near Mario's house, while Luigi was struggling to put up trophies and medals in the small warehouse.

Luigi: (Groans) Come on, come on...

Princess Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Yoshi, Wario and Waluigi, as well as Bowser Jr. arrives.

Waluigi: Hey, little-a rival!

Luigi was startled and attempt to forcefully push the door, preventing it to collapse.

Luigi: Whoa! Oh hello, everybody!
Princess Peach: How is Mario's going so far? I hope his pride will not bring him injuries...
Bowser Jr.: And my papa too, don't forget it!
Luigi: Oh yeah! About-a Bowser, he is tied with-a Kine and Marx into-a first place, while Mario is-a at...uh...
Wario: Last place? I know he is-a actually arrogant outside of his portrayal, but not-a at-a this point! Wah, talk about a shock!
Rosalina: True, I'm startled by that. Albeit this is also ironic too; while during our portrayals, Mario beat Bowser, but in the Team Freaks, the opposite will become true if he don't catch it up.
Daisy: That's not the only case this happens, especially when the two played by the players, but man, this sounds rotten for Mario!
Wario: Hey! Only I should-a say it to him! Eh, In-Portrayal, that is...
Luigi: Whatever-a what happened, my brother better do it better...Ek!!

The door collapse with trophies and medals had fallen from the entrance.

Waluigi: One thing-a for sure, tell-a him to get a bigger warehouse if he wins, just-a in case!

The camera cuts back to Mario, Sheriff and Viridi.

Sheriff: Well, I'm goin' to tell him to put up more efforts and behave himself, if he want to win.
Viridi: Don't forget to wish him good luck, because I got a feeling that he needs it!

At the Stealth Arrows' room...

Bowser: Well this is, me and Kine are tied for first place, Marx. Also, I know that the plumber is pretty arrogant but not at that point. I don't wished him to lose this much, but he need to get better if he want to win! This get on my nerves when he go on embarrassing situations because of his pride!
Marx: Well, heck! I do want to win, but if he stayed in last place this will taint his reputation for sure!
Bowser: Mario and I are vitriolic best buds for sure-- out-portrayal that is -- but it would be against the rules that I help him out since...we are not on the same team!
Meta Knight: No need to concern. Some of his teammates do worry about him, albeit I do remark that he need more than his jumps to go through any challenges.
Jirachi: We should not forget about that Mario had won the Advantage Challenge in the third challenge...or shall I say the third episode?
Salvo: Yep, that will be more precise.
Slurpuff: This time it will be a Free-For-All challenge. Everyone on their own for this one, trust no one and...well, only one will be the victorious for today!
Link: It is how it is going, and even we don't know what would be the next challenge--
Stallord: We have to beat up each others like if we are all enemies, I know.
Balloon Fighter: Pretty tough talking, but I wonder when--
Master Hand: (Telepathy) Attention, players! All shall now go to the Mad-Might Mountain immediately!
Queen Sectonia: See you at there. (Teleport away, along with Marx)
Knucklemaster: What was that!?
Swampert: Its teleportation, bud.

At the bottom of the Mad-Might Mountain, Inkling Girl whistles from fascination.

Inkling Girl: Well, it sure take more than a single Super Jump to reach the top!
Samus: It depend how high your Super Jump can get.
Master Hand: Now that everyone is here, you can tell that the mountain is high and dangerous. The goal is to get on the top and catch the flag. Simple, is it? Well, not really.
Crazy Hand: There is a lot of traps you can set, and you can also cause a landslide to slow the other down! Traditional fighting can works, too, depended on how strong and skilled you are! He he!
Master Hand: There are two checkpoints along the way, too. If you get defeated, you will return to the start or the last checkpoint you reached. Do not slow down, as you could let the others to catch you up!

King Doo and Villager watch the mountain up-there, nervous.

King Doo: Eek...I don't think I could to it...
Villager: Eep...I rather not getting no points though...
King Doo: *Sigh* Okay, I will try...
Villager: You know what? I will try but if I--
Master Hand: Meet us in the starting line!

Starting line.

Crazy Hand: Looks like they try to take each others' place...Ho ho...
Master Hand: They understand quickly when it is comes to Free-For-All. Ready...go!!

Every players rushes and climb. Villager and King Doo hesitate a bit but rushes anyway. 

Crazy Hand: Ho ho ho-- Wait, should we told the penalty for Inkling Boy and Drago?
Master Hand: Do not worry. Their penalty is that they will be forced to pick the long paths. We divided into three paths; the risky path which is the shortest but also risky, the safe path which is a bit longer, and the long path which is the longest. The Shy Guy who guard the gate of the three paths will tell them!
Crazy Hand: Can't wait to see their face when they got tired from the long and boring path! Ho ho!

Notable Events

Chibi Robo had tripped Knucklemaster by pulling it hard with his own cord. Knucklemaster, for a dumb hand, know that Chibi Robo isn't strong enough to pull him out so he just continues.
Samus had fallen and get hurt. Not her finest moment at now. Drago, who witness that, mind his business as he don't want to have a rough time with Samus.
Jirachi had attacked Drago with Psychic, out of all sudden, and Drago was not pleased at all. Drago decide to counterattack with his own jaw, thinking that a crunch will be familiar to the Pokémon move Crunch will understand if you do remember the Pokémon mechanic.
Inkling Boy had setted an Ink Mine. Sheriff see what is he doing and avoided it.
Chibi Robo had gone through a cave. He find another exit which is only another path.
Kirby had settled a rope and use his Fire Ability in case of many ways. Impa saw what is he doing and put her into distance.
King Doo nervously go through the mountain, and without noticing, he entered a cave. Someone's shadow had appeared, much to King Doo's panic. It was only Mr. Game & Watch.
Porky had reached a cave in his turn, but he rather take his distance as he don't wanted to be lost inside.
Goomba had reached a cave at his turn. Someone had followed him which is Sheriff. The two tend to argue who should go first, until Chibi Robo play with the leaves to look like a monster, which the shadow of him caused Sheriff and Goomba to retreat.
Villager had reached the first checkpoint. The next checkpoint will be the gate where three separated paths are.
Darkrai had found an item. He pack up a Jetpack (as no one can flight in this challenge) and attempt to passed Drago, who look up and attempt to catch Darkrai.
Swampert had settled mud to slow down other players. Ike just jumped over it as if it nothing.
Ness, at his turn, had settled his trap with PK Brainshock in order to confuse an opponent. Isaac saw that coming, but it was too late and got confused for a while.
Inkling Girl run fast, then use her Charger to go faster by firing it and go into her squid form.
Darkrai, with his Jetpack's fuel empty, had rested for some minutes. He rested so much that Balloon Fighter, Drago and Porky had passed him, much of Darkrai's shock.
Jirachi had found an item; it was a Mini Mushroom. She decide to use it on herself to sneak through the others. For the moment, she had no problems at all.
Darkrai, scolding himself for resting too long...found that he need to rest...again. Maybe that he was too active from the previous days and nights...and that was made him being attacked by Deoxys.
Slurfpuff had attacked Impa. The latter one don't have time to fight and wanted to catch the others up.
Bowser had chased Marx for pulling a bad prank on him.
Marx: Bowser! What is with you!? We are teammates, remember!
Bowser: Ya forget that it is Free-for-All? Come'ere! I only want to knock you out!
Bowser really does it. He knocked out Marx by throwing him hard to the bottom of the mountain. Ouch.
Bowser: (Look at the camera) Hey, at least I just said that I will knock him out, not to give him pain. Back to the road!
Goomba decide to give another try by entering another cave. He reached a shortcut.
Porky is chasing Impa, who is seemingly ahead of him. Impa, noticing that, had quickly retaliated.
Salvo had rested but he got attacked by Link. Salvo wasn't happy to be disturbed so quickly.
Meta Knight had reached the second checkpoint.
Meta Knight: Well, this seems rather simple.
Shy Guy: Attention Meta Knight! This is where the path is separated into three parts; the risky but the shortest, the safer but the longer, and the safest but the longest. The first one who take the risky path and successfully passed through there will gain a Bonus Immunity.
Meta Knight: I will pick the risky. I passed through territories more dangerous than this, in and out-portrayal alike.
Shy Guy: Good luck! I mean really, I hope you will not get injured once you arrived!
Meta Knight: No worries, I will not shine from a minor injury. I'm no wimp!
Meta Knight had jumped on a rock...then that rock collapsed and he felt and get hurt.
Meta Knight: What in the-- The Smash Hands are really serious about risky roads!
Samus will pick the safer road. She found a Motion Bomb and set it behind her in case someone would reach there.
Balloon Fighter pick the safest road and had settled a trap of balloon bombs. Mario see this and stomped the Balloon Fighter on the head.
Helmorac King also picked the safest road. He tripped the stomped Balloon Fighter by accident, and the latter one got himself trapped by his own trapped. Oh ho.
Helmorac King: you want some help?
Balloon Fighter: No thanks! Maybe I shouldn't set it here after all!
R.O.B. take the safer road and found a Barrel. He saw Sheriff and threw it at him, but the Sheriff saw that and jumped over it.
Mallo had also taken the safer road and...tripped himself and get hurt. He wondered about what actually tripped him.
Knucklemaster had taken the risky road and found an item. It was a Cape Feather and he gain temporary flight anytime he run fast enough. Now he need to find a place where to run safely...
Stallord picked the safer road and rested for some moments. Marx scared him away by giving a face-to-face staring.
Porky also picked the safer road and found an item. He found a Mega Mushroom and get quite bigger.
Bowser had picked the safer road, but he tripped but soon get back on his feet. He decide to challenge himself and brace himself to the riskier road. He run fast so no one else will reach the top first.
Chibi Robo had caught up Slurpuff. But the two got passed quickly by Mad Piano.
Knucklemaster had fallen but by using his Cape Feather power, he landed safely.
Kine picked the safer road and tripped at his turn but landed safely. Unlike Bowser who changed the road, Kine instead stick to one road and attempt to catch up Salvo, and passed him.
Bowser had settled a trap of landsliding rocks. Isaac was not too amused and used Move against the rocks, and attacked Bowser.
Samus picked the safe road and decide to climb safely.
Queen Sectonia also picked the safe road and attempt to catch up with Rowlet, but the two got quickly passed by the jumping Mario.
Mad Piano picked the safest road and decide to get inside a cave for another path. He get into the safer road.
Ike picked the safest road and found a Barrel. He threw it at Salvo who is in the safer road and succeed, leaving Salvo dizzy for a while.
Mario had picked the safer road before and found himself an item; it is another Barrel. He threw it at Impa, but instead hit Stallord, who got confused and questions about where the heck of that barrel came from.
Beruka had taken the safer road, and safely climb through her own way.
Knucklemaster had chased Drago, who is supposed to be on the Safest Road. Drago got thrown to the Safest Road.
Master Hand: Maybe Drago didn't noticed or that the Shy Guy haven't see him, but either way, that is how we teach a lesson to a cheater!
Crazy Hand: Yeah! Your silly idol had somehow some healthy memory! He he!
Master Hand: Now it is time for the break sequence. We will be right back! Stay tuned!

Part 2

Master Hand: Welcome back to the Nintendo's Team Freaks game-TV-show! So far, Salvo is taking the lead, but some contestants are changing the roads with the caves. Remember, the first one who reached the top from the Risky Road wins the Immunity Bonus!
Crazy Hand: Boy, I bet that those climbers would climb all their way to the top! None of them are true wimps...except maybe Chibi Robo, but he might persist--
Master Hand: Okay, okay, focus on what's going on, shall we?
Honchkrow had found an item; it is a Mega Mushroom. He gain size proportion and climb better while pushing opponents out of his way.
Stallord climbed safely, and see Inkling Boy doing the same but with his Super Jump.
Mad Piano also climbed safely, and cheered at Slurpuff, who decided to ignore him to avoid distraction.
Mad Piano shrugged and continued his path, with nothing else particular.
Mallo had found an item; it is a TNT Barrel. Worried that it could hurt someone, he pushed it for a safer distance but it ended up to roll, although many contestants saw that and dodged it.
Deoxys had fallen, but floated safely to land.
Stallord had attacked Queen Sectonia. Sectonia fled, not without a glare at him.
Queen Sectonia continued her path and...out of sudden she reached the top! She reached it with the Safe Road.
Queen Sectonia: Bow to your Queen of Mad-Might Mountain! Te he he...
Stallord: What-- (Discouraged) No...
King Doo: (Seems perplexed) Was that something to do with hitting her with my dodgeball?
Inkling Boy: Well, I did not see that coming!
Rowlet: Oh ho...Talk about a quick finish.
Master Hand: Attention all contestants! Queen Sectonia had won the challenge, but the Immunity Bonus is not earned yet! Everyone else must get on the Risky Road, even those who are penalized! This is your only chance, so do not screw up!
Drago: Oh boy! Finally! A chance of immunity!
Inkling Boy: Not if I reached it first, kooky-dile! (Runs fast, and splat the zone to turn into a squid and swam forward.)
Drago: Hey! Wait for me!
Kine had settled a trap of lighting bulbs, and Mad Piano got shocked by these bulbs.
Salvo had fallen, but being a blob or something, that didn't hurt him.
Samus had settled a trap, or more like waiting and shoot someone with her Paralyzer Gun, but missed Impa as the latter one dodged that.
Swampert get inside a cave, but nothing interesting nor anything helpful were seen so Swampert continue his road.
Inkling Girl had fallen and turned into a squid, and get back up quickly.
Impa also fallen, this time on Inkling Girl.
Inkling Girl: Watch it, Impa, you--
Impa: Look, I cannot fully control my fall, and whining will not help you to win.
Inkling Girl:...(Smirked) Yeah, you are right! (Used Super Jump)
Impa: Oh--what a trickster!
Villager had attacked Mallo, and the latter one hide himself for safety.
Salvo had chased Inkling Girl for stomping him, and Inkling Girl used a Mini Mushroom against him, but it hit Balloon Fighter instead.
Ness had attacked Bowser, and the latter one...had made a high jump and reached the top to win second place and Immunity!
Queen Sectonia: What in the--(decidedly impressed) You sure come here fast.
Bowser: You can beat me, but your majesty, it will gonna take more than that to get enough points to pass the good old Bowser!
Marx: (Shouted from far away) But we, well Kine, you and me, are tied to first place!
Bowser: (Spoke loud back to Marx) Sure, but I will get more points as second place and...and...wait, Queen Sectonia, you are not far away right?
Queen Sectonia: I was only one point behind you and the two others.

Crazy Hand appeared out of all sudden behind Bowser and Sectonia.

Crazy Hand: Indeed! Ho ho ho! But only Master Hand will reveal the point, but he told me that whatever you get second or last, she will catch first place!
Bowser: (Slight frown, sarcastic) Thanks for the advance, Crazy!
Crazy Hand: Hey, I know that you will stay first place if you win! He he he he he! (Flew back with Master Hand)
Bowser: (Whispered at Sectonia, sincere) I won't lie, Sectonia, I honestly did not expected you to win.
Queen Sectonia: Well, at least you wasn't go last either.
Bowser: Yeah, good point!
Master Hand: Now that the Bonus Immunity is given, the rest of the contestants have to climb up the top with the path of their choices, but the path chosen will not affect the points you will have, but rather how quick you get in here! Hurry up!

After rigorous and quick climb of all of the rest of the contestants...

Master Hand: Finish! Now that everyone is on the top, let see the paper on who is first, and who is last, from first to last, and I will also distribute five points to first place, three points for second to sixth place, two points for seventh to twelve-th place, one points for thirteenth to thirty-th place, and no points for those below thirty-th place. Here we are...
  1. Queen Sectonia, 5 pts.
  2. Bowser, 3 pts, plus Bonus Immunity.
  3. Mad Piano, 3 pts.
  4. Kirby, 3 pts.
  5. Mallo, 3 pts.
  6. Helmorac King, 3 pts.
  7. Porky, 2 pts.
  8. Mr. Game & Watch, 2 pts
  9. Link, 2 pts
  10. Beruka, 2 pts
  11. King Doo, 2 pts
  12. Salvo, 2 pts
  13. Drago, 1 point
  14. Deoxys, 1 point
  15. Jirachi, 1 point
  16. Kine, 1 point
  17. ROB, 1 point
  18. Inkling Girl, 1 point
  19. Ness, 1 point
  20. Mario, 1 point
  21. Slurpuff, 1 point
  22. Isaac, 1 point
  23. Male Villager, 1 point
  24. Knucklemaster, 1 point
  25. Meta Knight, 1 point
  26. Marx, 1 point
  27. Stallord, 1 point
  28. Goomba, 1 point
  29. Balloon Fighter, 1 point
  30. Honchcrow, 1 point
  31. Rowlet, no points
  32. Samus, no points
  33. Chibi Robo, no points
  34. Viridi, no points
  35. Impa, no points
  36. Ike, no points
  37. Darkrai, no points
  38. Sheriff, no points
  39. Inkling Boy, no points
  40. Swampert, no points
Swampert: Bah, talk about a big lost.
Master Hand: Now that the challenge is over, back to the Game House, and be ready for the Penalty Ceremony. And unlike the Team-based challenges, anyone can vote anyone, excluding the contestant with immunity. Also this time, only one person will be penalized!
Helmorac King: Oh ho...I don't like that...
Queen Sectonia: I might seen as a threat since I won first place...
Samus: You know, it could be someone else.

In the Central Room, during the Penalty Ceremony...

Master Hand: Contestants, here we are, the fifth Penalty Ceremony. As you shall remember, only one player will be penalized, and that anyone can vote on anyone. Shall you know, the player with immunity will not be affected at all, in this case, Bowser. Now, we roll out the following players in the Danger Amount...
  • Darkrai, for putting some players into sleep to a dangerous place, which could cause the players to get painful defeat.
  • Knucklemaster, for playing too dangerously, according to his voters.
  • Drago, for almost cheating. Almost, so don't protest!
  • And finally, Jirachi, for annoying the teammates of Beruka as Jirachi approached her and this bother them.
Jirachi: No, that's not true! Well, actually I do approached Beruka but not to annoy her...


Beruka: Had Jirachi got some special feeling with me or something? She tend to approach me more often quite recently. I mean, sure, this is a bit annoying from her but I will simply ask her why she approached me, at least at the next Free-For-All challenge.

Crazy Hand: And the next penalized player is...Knucklemaster!
Knucklemaster: What!? Did you two actually hate me or something!?
Crazy Hand: (Genuinely worried) No no no! We don't, even if you do bother us! Check the amount of votes by the other players and if you cannot count, then we will count them for you!
Knucklemaster: them!

Master Hand show the amount of voting cards, with half of them are against Knucklemaster.

Knucklemaster: ...Uh, don't worry, I understand now.
Master Hand: Good. I hope you will be able to get through the penalty--
Knucklemaster: (Enthusiasm regained) Are you kidding me? I can handle it, as your biggest fan!
Crazy Hand: Well, I wish you good luck for that, if you need it. Ho ho.
Inkling Girl: Hey, Knucklehead, don't feel bad. You did a big fine job to smash, and aside, you may not be even second place, but you know what they say--
Bowser: (Realized and glares at Inkling Girl) Second place, first loser, isn't it? (Sit back) Think again if I were you.
Inkling Girl: Oops-- (Nervously smiles) I should think of that, too! He he...

Master Hand: According to the current rank, Queen Sectonia had now take the first place of the Stealth Arrows, but also that Bowser had secured second place and now no more have the same amount of points with Marx and Kine. Will this change much soon, or will Sectonia will stay in first place longer than the three previously tied players? We will see this in the next episode of Nintendo's Team Freaks! Thank you for watching!

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