HEALTH AND SAFETY WARNING
BEFORE PLAYING, READ THE HEALTH AND SAFETY PRECAUTIONS BOOKLET FOR IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND SAFETY.
TO GET AN EXTRA COPY FOR YOU REGION, GO ONLINE AT www.nintendo.com/healthsafety
Press any button to continue.
… (AUTHOR'S NOTE: Comments, questions, critique? Check out my talk page! Also wiki formatting ruined one of the paragraphs :()
Hello there. I’m Tyler. I’m nine years old and I’m a boy. I have an older brother named Eric (he’s 12) and an older older brother named Henry (he’s 24 or 25, I forget.) I also have a little sister named Anne. She’s 4. I live in Cardino, a normal-sized town off the mainland in a fairly large country named Acirema (You say it uh-sir-ee-muh.), which is exactly 100,000 miles away from every other place on Earth. I go to Middleroad School, and it’s called Middleroad because it’s in the middle of the road between Cardino and the town next to Cardino, which is called Duckton. I have a crush on a girl named Gwen who is two months younger than me. But you’re probably getting bored with that now, so I’ll move on to the story. Because that’s what you came here for, right? (P.S. Sorry if I don’t write good, I’m only in 3rd grade.)
Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep, beep beep
I woke up sweating. I had absolutely no idea what could have made the sound I just heard. I probably could have some idea now, but it was 1:30 in the morning, so I was feeling quite unimaginative. I stumbled out of bed, stubbed my toe on a pile of magazines (which sent them toppling over), and reached the light switch. I turned the light on, then quickly turned it off because it hurt my eyes because I was so used to the darkness. I turned them back on again to see if everything was okay, using one hand to shield my eyes from the light.
Everything in my room looked okay, except for the pile of magazines that had fallen over. I checked out in the hall and saw Eric and my parents all looking around (Henry was in college over at Robinson University, and Anne sleeps in a crib). Everyone looked a little panicked, but as far as I could tell our house was intact and no one was hurt, but I heard crying from Anne’s room. I darted over, and my parents walked a little faster than usual, because it seems like adults never run. Anne seemed fine, just startled from the crash. I was kind of relived. “Is Anne okay? Oh, please, let her be okay…” my mom said, obviously worried. “She’s fine, mom,” I replied, annoyed. “Oh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” my mom said to Anne. Anne kept crying. “Hugh, go get some water for Anne. It’s okay, Anne, it’s okay…” My dad went to get some water. “Psst,” Eric whispered from the doorway. He pulled me over. “Yeah?” “Let’s go see what made the noise.” “No, we can’t. We’d get in trouble. “You’re such a sissy. ‘We can’t do this, we’ll get in trouble, I’m telling, waah waah waah,’” my brother mocked. “I just don’t want to get in trouble.” “See? There you go again.” “You can go if you want, but I’m not coming.” “Fine.”
My brother walked back to his mess of a room, and I followed him, even though I told him no. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “Uh…Just watching,” I answered.
Eric’s room was a complete mess. Before we had Anne, it was a guest bedroom/storage room, with no wallpaper or decorations at all, just a twin-sized bed. Mom kicked Eric out and made the guest room his room, and repainted his room pink and added a bunch of baby stuff. He wasn’t to happy about it at first, but I guess he warmed up to it. Anne was going to get the guest room originally, but mom said it we couldn’t put a baby in a storage closet (even though it’s fairly large and not cramped at all) but Anne was just THAT important, I guess. I think Anne is mom’s favorite.
He pulled out a fire ladder from under the bed (because we all had one under our beds, just in case) opened the window, and unraveled it down the side of the house. I could see a constant green flash coming from Hum Woods. I wondered if that came from the thing that fell. Then I wondered what, if anything, gives off a constant green flash, along with lots of beeping and whirring sounds? My mind was drawing a blank.
Eric took a Nerf gun off the top of his dresser and loaded it with darts. I heard Anne’s crying stop, and then her light went out. I went back to my room and turned off the light, still confused. After maybe 10 minutes, my door creaked open and Eric snuck in. “This is your last chance,” he warned. I still said no, and he left. I did kind of regret not going, but I’d get hurt or get in trouble or get scared or something. I almost got out of bed to tell him I changed my mind, but I decided not to. Eventually I made up my mind.
Eric jumped off the ladder when he was close to the ground, and I saw him land on his knees. “Wait!” I whisper-yelled. My head stuck out of his window. “Can I come with?” “Yeah, but you should have told me earlier. Come on,” he beckoned. I grabbed a plastic, faded blue bat and climbed down carefully.
“Okay, the green flash is coming from the woods. I’m guessing that’s where whatever crashed, crashed. So that’s where we’re going.” “Okay.” “Also, remember to equip your bat before you use it, so you can deal more damage.” “What? How?” “Just pretend something called a start button exists, then pretend to press it. Then pretend there’s a menu with the options of Weapon, Head, Body, and Other, and equip the respective item to the respective area.” I was kind of confused, but I did as he said, I guess. “Also, you can press and hold the B button to run.” “…” “Okay, pretend there’s something called a B button, then pretend to press it to run.” “Okay…” I wasn’t getting any of this. “Whatever. I’m sure it’s getting through to the right people.” “…Okay.” “Come on,” he said again. We tip-toed into Hum Woods, because they weren’t far from our house. The trees were kind of high here, and they covered up most of the light from the moon. That, combined with the green flashes, gave the woods a sort of ominous feeling. We saw a couple snakes ready to strike and a crow or two dived at us, but after being hit with my bat a few times or shot with Eric’s Nerf gun, they decided to mind their own business. Suddenly, I heard a woosh.
“Hello there,” a voice said. The voice seemed to come from all around me, yet be nowhere. “I’m the word on the wind. You know how some people say ‘the word on the wind is…’? Well, I’m the wind they’re talking about.”
I was incredibly surprised to find out the word on the wind actually existed.
“Well, anyway, the word on the wind is that if you see a sparrow, you can save your game at it. And if you see a snail, it can supposedly withdraw or deposit cash, or hold your items. Then there are praying mantises, which will sell you items in the most surprising of places. Oh, and hot springs can heal you right back to 100% full health and PS- wait, we aren’t that far yet. Nevermind. And since we aren’t that far yet, I suppose there’s no points in telling you about butterflies either. Well, that’s the word on the wind,” the word on the wind wooshed.
And the voice was gone. Eric didn’t seem fazed by it at all. I don’t remember stuff being this weird before.
Eventually, we came to what we thought was the crash site, because a weird capsule with lots of flashing lights and clicking, beeping, and whirring noises was lying on the ground. It beeped, clicked, and whirred. Me and Eric went in closer, but stopped dead in our tracks because of what happened next.
It was really weird, what happened next. One second I was just standing there, then suddenly the figure of some kind of Secret Service Agent materializes out of then air, but it’s just the figure, and the figure is made out of all this stuff like TV fuzz, only red, blue, and yellow. Then suddenly it IS a Secret Service Agent. It was like some kind of weird Rorschach test that only lasted a couple seconds before turning into something for real. He was 6 feet tall, was black, and had a crew cut, shades, and a suit. I was going to yell out in shock, but I quickly realized it wasn’t a good idea and stopped myself. The SSA-like guy pulled out some kind of weird cell phone-ish thing, but it didn’t look like any phone model I knew.
“Yes, sir, it’s right here…The radiation may have had some effects on the nearby humans and animals already…It’ll be back into orbit in a second or two…We should be able to cover this up easy…I don’t know, I can’t thing of anything that gives out a constant green flash with a lot of beeping and whirring sounds…Okay…Bye.” The SSA hung up.
What?! This must have been the weirdest day ever, because I don’t know what else could have been. Weird things crashing in the woods, random talk about saving and pressing buttons, and now some Secret Service Agent telling some weird person to get some kind of capsule back into orbit? I hoped I was dreaming or something, because this was weirder when I watched that show on Discovery Channel that had some lady in a babushka peeing in a bucket. Sweat collected on my forehead. I looked over at Eric, who was lying behind a bush with his Nerf gun pointed at the SSA guy.
“No!” I whisper-yelled. Eric looked at me. “What’s wrong?” he said back. “You can’t shoot him, he’ll beat us up and stuff! And we’ll get arrested, because he’s in the Secret Service!” I whispered panickedly. “Okay, you’re right.” He replied. I waited for him to move, but he shot the SSA guy anyway. I gave a yelp of surprise.
The SSA guy turned around quickly. He was angry; I don’t know how I knew he was angry, I just did. He took out some weird ray gun, and shot it at us. We both dived into opposite direction, and the beam hit a tree behind us. The tree fell backward. Eric and I tried to run, but the SSA followed, shooting fast. Eric dashed behind a tree and pulled me with him. “Listen,” he said, panting. “Yeah?” “We can’t just run,” he told me, sweating. “We have to fight.” “What? Why? We have to get out of here!” I said a bit louder than I should have. I heard the sound of the gun being fired; it sounded like a mix between a bang and a squelching sound. The tree almost toppled over onto us, but we got out in time. “This guy is gonna kill us. We have to try!” Eric gasped. “Uh, I don’t like this idea, but you’re right, I guess,” I answered.
I took out my bat and tried to hit the SSA. He replied by shooting me with his gun, injuring my arm. Eric shot the SSA in the face. I tried to hit the SSA in the leg but missed. The SSA ran over to Eric, and used all my strength to get up and try and help. I jumped into the air and hit the SSA in the back of the head.
I felt all my power transfer directly from throughout my body into my bat, and into the back of the head of the Secret Service Agent. White-ish blood leaked out, and the man grabbed the back of his head and toppled over.
“Now you’re gettin it!” The SSA’s voice didn’t sound as humanoid as before. I was a bit more worried. He kicked me in the stomach and I flew backwards into the dirt. He picked up Eric by the shirt and held the gun to his head. He screamed, and then I screamed. Then I cried.
I felt a woosh again, and really wondered how the word on the wind was going to help now. “The word on the wind is if you press the whatever button then you go Super Saiyan and kill the opponent and blah blah blah.” Then I realized it wasn’t wind, it was something going by me really fast. They suddenly stopped, threw some…thing at the SSA, and picked me and Eric up. I only saw her face for a second, but it had green eyes and blond hair. They had a black dress on (I think, anyway), so I guessed it was a girl. I thanked her, but before I knew it she was off. Eric lifted me off the ground, and we both walked…err, limped home.
Neither of us said anything on the way home.
WORKING WITH HAL LABS
AND BROWNIE BROWN
AND IN ASSOCIATION WITH FOF, INC