|"Hotdogs and Halal"|
| Season 1, episode 5|
| Written &|
"Singing and Dancing"
Hotdogs and Halal is fourth episode in the first season of Fantendo Now. It is the fourth episode overall.
Strafe and Sakeena go to a baseball game.
HOTDOGS AND HALAL
Written by Exotoro
Unten sits around lazily as Sakeena types up on her laptop.
- Unten: You should get PalmMan to proofread for you.
- Sakeena: Why do that when the red squiggle lines tell me something's wrong?
- Unten: Like, a lot of your verb tenses are off or incorrect. It doesn't really flow well.
- Sakeena: Well, why don't you proofread? Why does PalmMan need to do it?
- Unten: Because I don't want to do it myself, so I'd rather have him do it.
- Sakeena: I guess you've got a good point there.
Strafe walks into the room.
- Strafe: So… what are you guys doing?
- Unten: She's writing up a fanfic.
- Strafe: Huh. About what?
Sakeena begins to close the laptop a bit as Unten looks over.
- Unten: I dunno, something about someone shirtless?
- Sakeena: That's NOT what I was writing about!
- Unten: Yeah, you've got me. I did see your name though. Quite a lot actually.
Strafe looks at Sakeena.
- Sakeena: Heh…
- Unten: Wait… this fanfiction's about Strafe, isn't it?
- Sakeena: Maybe…
- Unten: Wait, so you're writing fanfiction about us? How the hell does that work?
- Sakeena: Well, you guys blew up after that landing in Noah… I dunno, it's hard to explain but you guys have been like “famous” of sorts?
- Strafe: Wait, how did my story break? It was in the middle of nowhere where a civil war was breaking out…
- Unten: Leah was there with you, remember?
- Strafe: I don't see how that mattered.
- Unten: She probably broke the story.
- Strafe: I didn't think of it that way, actually.
- Unten: Well, there you go.
- Strafe: So… there's a fandom for us? That writes fanfictions about us?
- Unten: That is kind of weird.
- Sakeena: You guys are heroes, I don't think you understand that.
- Unten: Honestly… how did Rachel not get more credit for what she did? I feel like everyone piled on the fame for me for some reason.
- Strafe: Well, I mean, you've got the whole “alien” thing going on.
- Sakeena: Actually now that you're here, I do have a couple questions…
- Unten: ...shoot?
- Sakeena: Uhm… how does your… you know what, nevermind…
- Unten: ...alright…
- Sakeena: I swear I'm not trying to weird you guys out. I'm just incredibly ecstatic to meet you and have you live in my house and stuff.
- Strafe: Eh, it'll probably be a temporary stay.
- Sakeena: Still!
PalmMan walks into the room.
- PalmMan: Ugh…
- Unten: What are you ughing about?
- PalmMan: DragonMan. I don't know where he is or what he's doing and…
- Unten: Slow down. Who's DragonMan?
- PalmMan: My boyfriend!
Unten's eyes widen up in response.
- Unten: Oh! Okay. Huh, didn't know you were… but it's totally cool with me, I just didn't…
PalmMan folds his arms.
- Unten: Sorry, I'll shut up.
- PalmMan: We crashlanded here on Earth but we got kind of lost and I found that witch's house and everything, then you guys came here and I kind of got lost in the moment and now I realize he's still missing and we're clear out in Seattle.
- Unten: I'm sure he's out there somewhere.
- PalmMan: Yeah, but where?
PalmMan looks through his pockets, finding some baseball tickets.
- PalmMan: Okay, I don't know how these got here.
- Unten: Hrm, those are tickets for the game today right?
- PalmMan: I guess they would have been nice for a date with him. Too bad they'll just go to waste now...
Sakeena lights up.
- Sakeena: I could use them and go to the baseball game with Strafe.
- Unten: ...why Strafe?
- Strafe: Why not Strafe?
Group stands in silence.
- Unten: Eh, alright. I guess me and PalmMan will look around for DragonMan while you two enjoy the game.
Unten whispers into Strafe's ear.
- Unten: (whispers) I'm onto you.
Strafe and Sakeena walk to the baseball stadium.
- Strafe: So… do you know anything about baseball?
- Sakeena: Nah.
- Strafe: Me neither. I guess you really just didn't want to look for DragonMan…?
- Sakeena: Well, I've got nothing against searching for him, it's just… y'know, why not have some fun watching some guy swing a bat?
- Strafe: Why me though?
Sakeena blushes a bit.
- Sakeena: Um… well, I just wanted to watch it with a more human person, I guess. I swear it doesn't mean anything! Unless you want it to.
Strafe nods, heading into the baseball stadium. Sakeena follows afterwards.
- Strafe: So where are you from?
- Sakeena: Well, my family moved from Pakistan and moved here to Seattle a while back, before I was born, really. It was a more peaceful time then… they named me Sakeena because of that, I guess.
- Strafe: Right.
- Sakeena: You came from Noah, right?
- Strafe: Yeah, Noah. Kind of a shithole, to be honest. I was leaving but then… stuff happened. You know about that stuff, right?
- Sakeena: Heh… yeah.
Strafe ponders what she meant by “a more peaceful time”.
Strafe and Sakeena walk past concession stands.
- Strafe: We should probably get something to eat.
- Sakeena: Yeah, sounds good. I'm starving, actually, I didn't want to say anything though.
- Strafe: Hmm. Hotdogs sound good?
Sakeena looks at the hotdogs.
- Sakeena: Maybe we should get something a bit more halal…
- Strafe: ...halal?
- Sakeena: It's part of my religion. Halal refers to something that's permissible by the Muslim word of law… which pork isn't.
- Strafe: Is beef halal? We can get some hamburgers.
- Sakeena: Well, we should probably stay away from meat, actually… chances of it not being blessed are pretty high considering the mass-market consumption of it.
- Strafe: Alright, sounds fine to me. Get some noodles from the noodle shack…
- Sakeena: Yeah, that sounds alright!
Strafe and Sakeena stand in line. As the person in front of them leaves, they head to order. The cashier doesn't look happy.
- Strafe: Let's see, we'll have some spaghetti noodles with uh… the marinara sauce doesn't have any beef in it right?
- Cashier: I'm not serving her.
- Strafe: ...what? No, you can't do that, this is America…
- Cashier: We don't need to service any terrorists.
Strafe looks at Sakeena.
- Strafe: ...what?
- Cashier: Sir, please leave.
- Strafe: No… we're just here to order food, we're not gonna…
Sakeena chokes on her tears a bit.
- Sakeena: Let's just go, Strafe.
- Strafe: Sakeena…
- Sakeena: I'm not a terrorist, Strafe. But it doesn't matter what the reality is when everyone else can write their own.
- Strafe: No, we're just gonna get some noodles and…
- Sakeena: You learn a lot at 12. You're just not a person to many.
Sakeena drags Strafe out as her tears fall down her face.
- Strafe: No, Sakeena, they can't just…
- Sakeena: It's not worth making a fuss, Strafe! This is how it's been since… since…
Sakeena drops to the floor, sobbing. Strafe looks at the cashier. He puts his arms around her.
- Strafe: I'm sorry.
- Sakeena: You didn't even do anything. You don't have to apologize.
- Strafe: Nobody else is going to say it. The bigoted cashier isn't gonna say it, the world isn't gonna say it. You need to hear it though, because you were never in the wrong.
- Sakeena: Who cares? World's not gonna magically change since you said that.
Strafe rests his head on Sakeena's shoulders.
- Strafe: Yeah, but we can make steps to do it. Forget the baseball game, we'll ask for the money back and do something with that.
- Sakeena: And what, get stood up by another bigot?
- Strafe: I won't let that happen again, alright? I know a place owned by a former criminal and she's the most accepting person I know.
Sakeena shakily gets up.
- Sakeena: Okay, let's go.
Strafe gives a mean glare at the cashier as he leaves.
Strafe and Sakeena walk towards a restaurant Tropical Iceburg. Strafe sees someone go in and out a alleyway and gets curious.
- Strafe: Hey… what's going on in there?
- Sakeena: I dunno… should we really bother?
- Strafe: Might be worth investigating for a quick second.
Strafe and Sakeena walk in, only to be stopped by a guy in a suit.
- Man: You're not allowed back here.
- Strafe: Are we breaking a law here?
- Man: Yeah, actually, it was written back there.
- Strafe: You guys are writing laws back there?
- Man: Yeah. High bidders today.
Strafe pulls out his flip phone.
- Strafe: Pretty sure you can't do that.
- Man: Oh yeah, who do you know?
A black car comes down, with Helen Rizzo stepping out.
- Helen: Mhmm.
- Strafe: Huh?
- Helen: Don't mind me, you two go out on your little date. We've been doing a little investigation on this… turns out you finally got someone to confirm a little corruption.
- Man: And who would you be?
- Helen: Helen Rizzo, leader of F.A.N.T.
Strafe and Sakeena walk away and head to the Tropical Iceburg as they hear more people exit out of the car.
- Sakeena: Who were you gonna call?
- Strafe: The police, to be honest. I dunno if they were involved, probably were.
- Sakeena: Eh.
- Sakeena: This isn't a date, right?
Strafe and Sakeena return home as PalmMan and DragonMan talk.
- Strafe: Wait, we've got this guy now?
- Sakeena's Mom: Nah, he's living at his own apartment. PalmMan's gonna be here to visit from time to time because he's good friends with you, but DragonMan's kind of more reserved. That's what I got out of it. How was your date?
- Sakeena: It wasn't a date, mom.
- Sakeena's Mom: Mmhm…
She eyes Strafe, who smiles.