|Summary||Hark and Flame arrive in England, where they find the Fandemonium Producers aren't as ready to let go of them as they had thought...|
|Writer of Episode||Cowbeb|
Hark and Flame have left Fandemonium. Hark is tired of keeping up the veneer of being a drunken sociopath, and Flame is sick of the constant fighting between him and Clyde. Naturally, the first place they head to is England, Flame's homeland...
The two are on a plane, heading for London, where Flame plans to settle down.
Flame: Finally. I'll be back at home...
Flame: Something wrong?
Hark: No, it's just... I'm thinking about where I'll stay, how I'll make a living. I mean, I've been living off of ML and Steel's money for as long as I can remember.
Flame: Well, I'll see what I can do to pull a few strings and get you a job.
Hark: I appreciate that.
Flame: So you weren't actually as psychotic as you seemed?
Hark: No. The producers hired me to act that way.
Flame: Speaking of the people who ran that show, Steel and Metal Locked really are a pair of cold-hearted monsters, weren't they?
Hark: What makes you say that?
Flame: When the almost-killer thing happened, they didn't pull out. They didn't stop the show. They let us get involved in that island business. And what did Steel get out of it? A new body that can shape-shift. And we're left with nothing.
Hark & Flame's flight arrives in England. They can see the many humans and non-humans mingling in the crowd outside the airport.
Hark: It's odd- ten years ago, I never would have guessed that all these creatures existed, but now they're considered perfectly normal.
Flame: You calling me “abnormal”?
Hark: No. I’m sorry, I was wrong.
Flame: Oh, it’s fine, it’s fine.
A tall, black-haired man bumps into Flame.
Black Haired Man: Mmm? Oh, sorry.
Flame: That’s okay…
Black Haired Man: Wha-? Flame? Is that you?
Flame: Um, yeah. I guess. Who’re you?
Black Haired Man: I’ve been looking all over for you.
Flame: That’s an interesting name.
Black Haired Man: You and Hark. See, I’m kinda like a spokesman for the Fandemonium producers-
Flame: I thought we were rid of them!
Black Haired Man: Yeah. And, well, you’re contractually obligated to continue in their service until the end of the summer. That’s how long you wanted to rent the mansion, remember? But instead of getting the mansion in itself, you ended up signing up for-
Hark: -a reality show that made our lives miserable. We’re not going back with you.
Black Haired Man: I’m not asking you to go back with me.
Hark: Oh, good.
Black Haired Man: I’m telling you that we’ve decided to branch off our Fandemonium show- its ratings soared after that Almost Killer thing- and do a spin-off.
Flame: Oh, no.
Black Haired Man: We’ve already chosen a location- it’s a nice old house, much like the old mansion.
Hark: We aren’t going to participate in a Fandemonium spin-off.
Black Haired Man: You don’t have a choice. Even now, my associates are tricking hapless, entertaining people and animals into signing up to live in the house.
Hark: You can’t do that!
Black Haired Man: We can do that, and so much more. We can have you arrested for refusing to complete our agreed contract.
Flame: And I can have you arrested for tricking us into signing it!
Black Haired Man: No, you can’t. You can’t do anything.
Flame: I’m a general in the English Army!
Black Haired Man: Not anymore. The men I speak for have already arranged to have you… “retired.”
Flame: …those bloody creeps got me fired! How?! You’re a load of reality TV producers!
Black Haired Man: You really think that’s all we are? Reality TV is merely profitable these days. Back in Rome, it was gladiator fighting.
Hark: Are you saying that you people have been around since…?
Black Haired Man: I’m not saying anything, except that enclosed in the envelope I am about to give you is the address where you shall meet your fellow reality show participants tomorrow morning. You cannot leave the country. We will be watching you.
To be continued!