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Hard Willy: XL Edition

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Hard Willy box art textless

"Look who's coming back..." - The game's tag-line

Hard Willy: XL Edition is a 2015 reboot to the Hard Willy game series, starring the titular Hard Willy, who is now a hitman for hire living in the Big City (that's really what it's called) after his home planet was destroyed in a nuclear war. It was released on September 7, 2015, for the PC. It is the first game created by Slapstick Games.


The player controls two characters, Hard Willy and Ralph, who they can switch between at any time. Before each level they can equip different weapons they have unlocked, but the two characters also have main weapons that are unique to them and cannot be unequipped. Each character can have up to four different weapons equipped at once. The levels are 3D environments, which are viewed in a third-person perspective. The characters can explore their environments and battle enemies along the way. There are also special "W" emblems hidden in each level that give the player an extra life if discovered. Sometimes there are specific flashback levels where only Willy is playable, but besides the exclusion of Ralph they play out the same as regular levels.

There is an online mode where the player can do special co-op levels with their friends, playing as recolored versions of Willy or Ralph. The online mode also features a battle mode where the players can duke it out in a wrestling ring, an homage to Hard Willies Wrestling.


Chapter One: Between a Rock and a Hard Thing

The story begins with Hard Willy running as a spacecraft follows from above. He jumps down into a canyon, and the spacecraft shoots at him, missing and hitting rocks that then fall on top of him. Willy climbs out, and is severely injured. He is found by his partner, Soft Willy, who pulls him out of the rubble. Soft Willy reveals a grappling hook, and the two are able to escape. They get to a torn-down base, which Soft Willy claims has several escape pods in it. However, there is only one left. The screen goes black, and slowly fades in on Hard Willy sitting at a desk, which has various pictures of different gang members on it. A talking camel named Ralph enters the room, and asks Willy how they will be able to kill an entire gang of people. Willy presses a button labeled "Cool Shit", causing a shelf full of high-tech weapons to rise up out of the ground. Willy explains these weapons are all that's left of his home planet except for himself.

The player is then taken to a tutorial level where Willy and Ralph confront some gang members in an alley, leading to a fight. After all the gang members are killed, the two hear police sirens, and escape.

The next day, Hard Willy is reading the newspaper when he sees the police are currently on the look-out for the man who killed all the gang members, thinking this may be the start of a gang war. At an abandoned warehouse, the Impenetrables, a rival gang of the one Hard Willy and Ralph attacked, realize that whoever killed those gang members have put them in danger, as they were known to be arch-enemies with that gang. They send one of their henchmen to the hospital room of the sole survivor of the encounter, who reveals that Hard Willy and Ralph were the killers.

Chapter Two: Impenetrable

Hard Willy and Ralph are at a bar, when they are confronted by some of the Impenetrables. The gang members tell them that they know what they did, and then threaten to turn them into the police unless they go with them to their hideout. Hard Willy refuses, leading to a fight. After defeating the Impenetrables in the bar, Hard Willy and Ralph escape into the subway station, getting onto a train.

However, some henchmen on the train recognize them, as the Impenetrables have put a bounty on the two. They have another fight, until only one henchman is left. Hard Willy asks him where the Impenetrables' hideout is, and the henchman reveals that it is at the old toilet seat warehouse. Willy and Ralph head to the toilet seat warehouse, armed with several explosives. They attack the gang members, and have a confrontation with their leader on the roof of the building after defeating everyone. Their is a quick boss battle, which ends with the gang leader being thrown off of the roof and dying. Willy and Ralph blow up the building, and leave.

Chapter Three: A Premature Evacuation

Chapter Four: A Tight Fit

Chapter Five: The Big Bang

Co-Op Levels

  • Master Debaters - Hard Willy and Ralph are sent to go undercover at a school debate club meeting so they can assassinate the school's principal, who is secretly a notorious mobster.
  • Always Use Protection - As a court trial is going on, Hard Willy and Ralph are hired to protect one of the witnesses from the serial killer he is ratting out.

More to be added...


  • Hard Willy - The hero Hard Willy, who comes from another planet that was destroyed by nuclear warfare, now lives in the Big City, a large, grimy slum, as a hitman, killing people for money. His main weapon is a blaster that fires a white energy beam, which temporarily stuns enemies.
  • Ralph - Ralph is a talking camel, and Willy's partner-in-crime. He constantly smokes cigarettes and may or may not have gone by the name "Joseph" at some point before being forced to change his name and go into hiding by the company he was formerly employed by. His main weapon is a grenade launcher.
  • Soft Willy - Willy's shorter, thinner, and all around weaker ex-partner who is now dead. Appears in flashbacks only.


Once this game is finished, ElectricMayhem, the creator of Hard Willy, plans on creating a sequel entitled Hard Willy XL: Touched by an Angel, which will take place in the afterlife and focus on Hard Willy dying.

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