|"Guilty (Fantendo Now)"|
| Season 2, episode 2|
| Written &|
"Settling into Boltzmann"
Guilty is the second episode in the second season of Fantendo Now. It is the seventeenth episode overall.
Leah is accused of murder and is sent to court. The case is not what it seems when Sakeena finds out what's really going on.
Written by Exotoro
Unten, Strafe, Sakeena, Rachel, PalmMan, X-Ray, and Reese get into the jury row, not looking too happy or in X-Ray's case, severely worried. Leah stands in accused stand, waving uncomfortably.
- Unten: Man, fuck Leah for giving us jury duty.
- Strafe: Hey woah, cool it, we're in a courtroom.
Unten rolls his eyes.
- Unten: Yeah, I can't wait to sit here and do jackshit for a couple hours. I'd rather...
Unten thinks for a moment.
- Unten: Okay, I wasn't really planning anything today. But still.
- PalmMan: What's Leah being accused for? I literally didn't pay attention the entire time we were in the car.
- Unten: The... entire time?
- PalmMan: Yeah, I do this everytime we drive somewhere. You guys are annoying.
- Strafe: Annoying how?
- PalmMan: Haha, BIIIIG WATER!
- Strafe: I said we should stop doing that fucking joke a week ago.
- Sakeena: Sorry...
- Judge of the Court: Silence in the jury row, please.
- Unten: Right! Sorry.
- Judge of the Court: The accused, Leah Needlenam, is on trial for the murder of Lyon Feska.
- Strafe: (whispering to Rachel) What kind of name is "Lyon Feska"?
- Rachel: (whispering to Strafe) What kind of name is Strafe?
- Judge: Can you guys not do that?
- Strafe: Yeah, Rachel. Don't do that.
Judge shakes his head. He's in for a long trial, it seems.
- Judge: How would the defendant plead themselves?
- Leah: Not guilty. Seriously, who the hell is Lyon Feska?
- Judge: Hmph.
- Leah: Look, can we not waste time on this shit? I'm not guilty.
- Judge: Can we bring out the evidence?
- Blond Man: Yes, we can.
Blond Man brings out a set of photos and projects them, showing Leah clearly murdering someone. Leah looks shocked.
- Leah: That's not me! Who the hell is that? Why would they do such a sloppy job?
- Unten: (to Rachel) You think she did it?
- Rachel: (to Unten) Yeah, wouldn't put it past her.
Sakeena looks uncomfortable in her seat.
The session has gone on for about thirty minutes. Sakeena looks more and more uncomfortable in her seat. Strafe can tell.
- Strafe: What's got you all worked up?
- Sakeena: Something seems... off about those pictures and all the evidence. Knowing Leah pretty personally... she wouldn't do such a sloppy job if she were to murder someone. Plus, she's facing the camera... like she knows she was caught.
- Strafe: Yeah, but Leah would murder someone, right?
- Sakeena: That's not the point! The pictures portray a really sloppy murder that's well shot. Leah doesn't even know how to take a selfie or anything.
- Strafe: The hell's a "selfie"?
- Sakeena: It's like a picture you take with your phone of yourself.
- Strafe: A phone? Why the hell would you take a picture with a phone?
- Rachel: Don't bother explaining anything to him, he still prefers Windows XP to Windows 8. Although to be frank, I can see where he's coming from...
- Strafe: How the hell does Windows 8 work? Where is Windows 9? Why did they skip to Windows 10? When did they start numbering this shit?
- PalmMan: Mphh.
- Sakeena: I... gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.
- Strafe: Can you even do that?
- Sakeena: Yeah, you just raise your hand.
Sakeena raises her hand.
- Judge: Alright, go.
- Sakeena: Thank you!
- Judge: Anyway...
Sakeena glances through the empty hallways.
- Sakeena: Nothing makes sense... yet everyone seems so non-nonchalant about it.
Sakeena notices a shadowy figure standing in a unlit section of the hallway before running like hell.
- Sakeena: Hey!
Sakeena chases the figure down the hallway.
Reese pulls out his phone. PalmMan glances over.
- PalmMan: What'cha watching?
- Reese: Nothing! What the fuck...
- PalmMan: Chill man, I don't judge.
- Reese: Erm... okay. Have you heard of Amatsuchi! before?
- PalmMan: Amatsuchi?
- Reese: It's... a anime.
- PalmMan: What's it about though?
- Reese: Erm...
PalmMan looks onto the screen, his face looking more and more disgusted.
- PalmMan: Dude, what the hell. She put the sushi... up...
- Reese: Yeah.
- PalmMan: Please tell me there's more to it than just that.
- Reese: Not... really.
Sakeena chases the figure into an empty, dark room. She walks slowly into the room, not sure where the figure is. She suddenly has a bag over her head and is tied into a chair. The lights flick on and the bag is pulled off to reveal Xerox.
- Sakeena: Xerox? Aren't you supposed to be in jail or something?
- Xerox: You literally saw me at the Sports Resort over the summer. Come on.
Xerox picks up a pipe wrench.
- Xerox: I'd love to chat but frankly I just don't really have the time. Now that both Leah and X-Ray are exactly where I want them, exactly how I want them... well, I certainly can't mess this up. If I do it right, she won't even know that it's happened.
- Sakeena: What the hell are you talking about?
- Xerox: Alright, alright. I'll tell you. I've got about half an hour before they decide to put Leah on the electric chair.
Xerox props her foot up on a stool as Sakeena looks oddly at her.
- Xerox: Right... well while I was in prison, I formulated a plan. One that would take X-Ray out of the picture, put me in her place, and have Leah love me like she does with X-Ray without her even knowing.
- Sakeena: I'm confused.
- Xerox: Right. Yeah. Okay, let's start off with the trial. There's enough incriminating evidence to put Leah on death row. That's where I come in. I grab both Leah and X-Ray and do a little disguise up. I dress up like X-Ray, I dress X-Ray up as Leah, and me and Leah get out of here with nobody noticing.
- Sakeena: That's... extremely flawed. If Leah's dead, what is the real Leah doing to escape death row?
Xerox pauses for a second.
- Xerox: ...shit. That's a really good point. Hmm. Well... I suppose I could dress Leah up a bit for a while and then just live on the down low...
- Sakeena: And what about me? You can't just kill me without anyone noticing.
- Xerox: See, if I didn't want you to find me, I wouldn't have let you.
- Sakeena: Wait... what?
- Xerox: You're the only one in the group who gives a shit about Leah beyond just X-Ray, who is too preoccupied worrying about Leah to leave her side. You on the other hand, want to get to the bottom of things.
- Sakeena: Alright, what's my role?
- Xerox: Kind of eager to play along, aren't you? Well, I intend to frame the whole thing on you. They won't look into it too deeply... after all, we live in a post-9/11 America.
- Sakeena: ...you... what?
- Xerox: You know exactly what I'm talking about. Justice is bent against those who don't fit the model of white, albino people.
- Sakeena: You're pretty white yourself, you know that?
- Xerox: Thanks. Now if you excuse me, I've got a switch up to do.
Xerox leaves the room with the pipe wrench as Sakeena attempts to get out of her chair.
- Sakeena: ARGHHHH!!!
X-Ray goes to get a drink of water as Rachel waits behind her. Rachel seems to notice... something... a little strange.
- Rachel: Wait a second...
Rachel picks up an empty water bottle with "BIG WATER" scribbled onto it.
- Rachel: This is a tiny water bottle.
X-Ray leaves the water fountain looking stressed.
- Rachel: What's up X-Bubs?
- X-Ray: I'm worried about Leah.
- Rachel: Well, everyone is.
- X-Ray: I don't really see it, to be frank.
- Rachel: Look, everyone's just... kind of on edge. Leah's a real wildcard and she's done some... bad things. Murder wouldn't be out of her forte.
- X-Ray: Leah's very nice.
- Rachel: Mmm...
Rachel flashbacks to a moment where Leah tripped her down the stairs.
- Leah: Prank'd!
Leah runs off and punts a bucket as Unten helps Rachel up. Rachel returns to reality.
- Rachel: Right... nice.
X-Ray heads towards the bathroom as Rachel examines the "big water" bottle.
- Rachel: Wait a second, this is Sakeena's. She thought it would be ironically funny.
She glances down the hallway before hearing a loud scream.
- Rachel: X-RAY?!
X-Ray emerges from the bathroom.
- X-Ray: There's a huge-ass rat in there.
- Rachel: Oh, that makes sense. Where's Sakeena? She hasn't come back from the bathroom break from earlier...
- X-Ray: Probably hiding from the big-ass rat. C'mon.
Rachel reluctantly returns to the court room.
Sakeena tries to get free from the ropes.
- Sakeena: What kind of knot is this?
Sakeena eyes a knife on the desk. Her legs aren't tied.
- Sakeena: She's really bad at this.
Sakeena grabs the knife with her mouth and gets out of the room in a racket.
X-Ray is attempting to get Leah out of the defendant seat.
- X-Ray: Can I see the accused for a second, outside of the courtroom?
- Judge: Can we even do that? I feel like we can't.
- Attorney: I feel like we can't too.
- Judge: Well see, I don't remember learning this in law school so...
Judge brings out his phone and calls a number.
- Judge: Richard! My prez.
- Rachel: The president has time for this shit?
- Strafe: He's got seemingly eternity to be president...
- Rachel: What is that dude's deal? What is he? Human? Alien? What the fuck? Am I the first to question this shit? Has he ever made this public?
- Judge: Yeah, I agree, it seems very unsafe.
Sakeena bursts into the room in a awkward walk.
- Sakeena: That is NOT X-Ray!
- Sakeena: I have the real X-Ray, right here.
Another Leah stumbles into the courtroom.
- Sakeena: Yeah, I know, she looks like Leah.
- Judge: I'm... not following here. What?
- Sakeena: Okay, so Xerox, who is Leah's ex, I guess, murdered that guy in cold blood in disguise as Leah, broke out of prison to do that and she was gonna pull a scheme where she was gonna kill and replace X-Ray. X-Ray would have died on the death row chair while Leah and Xerox escaped, with Leah none the wiser to what happened.
- Judge: Yeah... but why does X-Ray look like Leah?
- Sakeena: Leah was gonna be on death row but if X-Ray is Leah... jeez, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. This is incredibly convoluted.
- Judge: Well, is she telling the truth?
Leah sits back a bit.
- Leah: Yo, X-Ray, what's the safe word?
X-Ray in jury row blushes.
- X-Ray: Uh... hamburger?
- Leah!X-Ray: It's "I love you."
- Leah: Yeah, Metals is telling the truth.
Leah points to the X-Ray in jury row.
- Leah: Get her OUT of here.
X-Ray, who is really Xerox, is pulled away by two guys in police suits.
- Xerox: I just wanted you to love me!
Xerox starts crying as the room goes painfully silent. Suddenly a loud hentai moan fills the room.
- Reese: ...my headphones weren't in, were they?
X-Ray and Leah sit outside on a hill outside of the court room, looking out at the moon.
- X-Ray: Sorry about that whole Xerox thing.
- Leah: Why are you sorry? It's Xerox.
- X-Ray: I guess... I feel sorry for her. Being in love with someone that doesn't love you back... that must be painful.
Leah pauses for a long, long while.
- Leah: Yeah, I guess it would.
Leah pauses for a bit.
- Leah: What did I ever do to deserve you?
- X-Ray: ...you saved me from that Twisted Cross place, you cared for me beyond that. I felt loved and you made me feel like I mattered.
- Leah: Nobody else made you feel like that?
- X-Ray: Not on the level you did. Treat others like you would want to be treated... you were the first person to treat me like I wanted to.
Leah smiles warmly.
- Leah: I'll never mistreat you.
- X-Ray: I don't doubt it for a second...
The two close towards each other, kissing each other on the lips before connecting their hands together.