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Five Nights at Illuminatis

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This is a joke article, possibly made to make fun of a certain subject. Understand that it is not supposed to be taken seriously.

Five Nights at Illuminatis is fucking gr8. It is for the Dreamcast, Xbox None, PS666.34.69, and Virtual Boy. It is a Five Nights at Freddys styled game except hardcore as hell. You play as a security guard named "Senpai".

Animatronics

  • Illuminati

The main animatronic in the game and by far, the most MLG. Hes to busy 420 noscoping so he mostly doesn't move unless he rages hard. He starts on the Scope Stage.

  • Doritos

The most delicous animatronic in the game that is very active because you ate one dorito. wtf m8. He starts on the Scope Stage.

  • Mountain Dew

The turn up animatronic. He is also very active because you took a sip. wou, u pay nou. He starts on the Scope Stage

  • Gabe Newell

He is always hiding behind a curtain, because he is giving his press conference. If you don't check the camera he will run though the halls until he reaches your office and noscopes you, because Gabe likes being watched and you didn't watch him.

  • Semi-Silver Illuminati

This guy will crashe your game because he fucking wants to. Deal with it.

Locations

  • Scope Stage
  • COD area
  • Crack stage
  • Alone closet 
  • West nerd
  • East nerd
  • Bathroom

Nights

Night 1

"sop m8, mah naems paul. basicly u got 2  watch them maek sure dey dont get da w33d and noscoep u. k bai."

Night 2

"hay dey get hardr. lel. datz wet sh3 sed *laughs really hard for some reason* bai m8."

Night 3

"um m8 ur gonna die, ur fucked. bai."

Night 4

"O SHOT IM DIEN HELP ME *snoop dogg starts singing smoke weed everyday* WTF SNOOP I DON HAEV DA WEED. *someone says "OH BABY A TRIPLE"* *dies*"

Night 5

"Yo dis is illuminati, and i just wanted to let u know that im gonna murder u"

Night 6

<no phone call>

Night 7 EASTER EGGS

Hentai Mode

when you do "3/4/6/9" then you get hentai night. Instead of illuminati its wario, and the rest of the animatronics are just hentai girls.

W33d mode

When you do "4/20/4/20" you get a special mode were you are trippin balls.

Easter eggs 

  • If you put the game in your toaster you can get Night 0 which is fucken boring

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