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Five Nights at Clownpiece's

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This is a joke article, possibly made to make fun of a certain subject. Understand that it is not supposed to be taken seriously.

Five Nights at Clownpiece's is a game. A horror game, at that. For the PC. It's really spooky.

the story (?)

A guy who's very likely to be a weeaboo named John decides to work at Clownpiece's Fun Spectacular Touhou Resturaunte.

But then he realized he hilariously messed up because the animatronics are actually SOPPKY GHOSTS!

the spoopy animatronics

CLOWNPIECE FAZFAIRY She may look stupid, but that doesn't stop this creature from being deadly. Clownpiece is the mascot of Clownpiece's Fun Spectacular Touhou Resturaunte. She always comes in through the right door.

TAILS One of Clownpiece's minions, this dangerous fox is actually quite cute. He likes to spin his tails often and can teleport. He always comes in through the left door.

MARSHAL Another one of Clownpiece's minions, who really likes rhythm for some reason. He doesn't outright kill you; he disables your door buttons, forcing you to use the light buttons when an animatronic is near you. He comes in through the hallway.

GRAND DAD The last of Clownpiece's minions resembles Mario, but worse. I mean, look at him. LOOK AT HIM. He comes in through the hallway.

GOLDEN CLOWNPIECE She teleports in front of you sometimes. If you don't use the Flashlight before 5 seconds pass, then your game crashes.

the resturaunte


the gameplay

As a security guard, your goal is to survive the spooky animatronics for five nights without getting murdered by said spooky animatronics.

YOUR POWER: The doors, the light buttons, and the flashlight all use power. If it runs out, you die.

IPHONE: This lets you know where all of the animatronics are. THE DOORS: These are used against Clownpiece and Tails. These are disabled if Marshal comes into your office.

THE LIGHT BUTTONS: These are used against Clownpiece and Tails if Marshal comes into your office. The chance of preventing a death is not 100%, unlike the doors.

THE FLASHLIGHT: This is used against Marshal (before he comes into your office) and Golden Clownpiece.

"GRAND MOM" MASK: This is used against Grand Dad. It resembles that of Luigi.

the nights (and phone calls)


clownpiece is inactive

tails is active

marshal is active

grand dad is inactive

HELLOUGH, HELLOUGH?! HELLOUGH?!?!?! oh haiz. iem used 2 wurk her. there wur spooky ghosts, so this is mah laest week. if u r listenin 2 this, then u are a teribl persun and u shuld leve nou.

but u r a stoopid horror game heroh, so im gunna continue this message anehway. thers a greting from fazfairy entertanment that im suposed 2 red. it sayes "welcum 2 clownpiece fazfairy's fun spectacular touhou resturaunte. a megical plac for weeaboos nd realy yung kids alike,  wher fantisy n fun cum 2 life. fazfairy entertanment is nut respunnsible 4 deth." BLABLABHLAHB it'll be fine. the animatronics stuff you in a suit, so be aware of that. blbahblablhaklshdfBLAH now do it. GOOD NIGHT


clownpiece is inactive

tails is active

marshal is active

grand dad is active

HELLOUGH? HELLOUGH?! OH OK your aliev. for night 2. n shit. some of the anematronics are more actiive awn later nights. plz chek the camerues whil i talk plz. plzplzplz.

also, check on grand dad every once in a whil, but not 2 much. 2 much or 2 little will mak him run in2 u. u have to put on the grand mom mask to avoid him. GOOD NIGHT


clownpiece is inactive

tails is active

marshal is agressive

grand dad is agressive

HELOUGH? must pepul dun last dis wrunng. im not mplying dat they did----dats nut what i ment.

BUT ANYWAY if you dunt muv ur mouse at all. you might stay alive lunger if ur power runs ut dat way. GOOD NIGHT


clownpiece is ACTIVE

tails is active

marshal is agressive

grand dad is agressive

HELLOUGH? i mit nut b abl tu send u a message tumorrow. its ben a rly ruff week for me. im pretty glad i recorded mym msesages so you can get annoyed by them. hahaha

but PLZ do m a favor. plz check the suits in the back room. im not gunna do it, u are. u know what? fuck dis jub, i...oh NOES-ufsdfiohncvwef8hnfcfjksdhfdjhf


clownpiece is agressive

tails is agressive

marshal is agressive

grand dad is agressive

hello. this is clownpiece. i am about to kick your ass, take your names n chew bublgum... AND IM ALL OUT UF GUM.

basically, ur fukd. hav a nice day at clownpiece's death resturaunte.



you got FIVE DOLLARS after risking your life


you can set how active and agressive all of the animatronics are. there's also several presets.

oh my god what

this is clownpiece again

i can't believe you actually survived




now get out

you fucked with the animatronics and smell really fucking bad

the screenshots

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