Day 1 (April 12)
The Laughball rolls on screen, seeming very stoic and cautious.
LAUGHBALL: I am being hunted. Within 24 hours, I'll be dead, my key lime flavored acidic juices spilled on the ground you stand on. You can do nothing to stop the man on the hunt to kill me and me alone.
Quickly, the Laughball shifts to its usual happy tone.
LAUGHBALL: In the meantime, have a look at this!
A black screen slowly fades into a blurred scene. Carnage is everywhere, fires bursting from offscreen, with a large yellow object in the center.
NARRATOR: They say mankind is going to be its own doom. That with our intelligence comes the fate of dooming ourselves, be it by our own hand or by our ignorance to that around us.
The screen gradually becomes less blurred, and a large robot corpse swings by the screen. In the center is a large bus, rocketing towards the screen in slow-motion, with guns blazing.
NARRATOR: The former is true.
As the screen is filled with flames, the bus is all that is left of the wreckage.
NARRATOR: It is our salvation. Our final chance at ascension. And only the near-extinction of our kind can bring us what we need.
The picture clears entirely. A Slaughterbus armed with firework cannons, wings, and a massive fist crashes into the screen.
A montage of Slaughterbus antics are shown. A blue Slaughterbus crashes into a bank and activates a magnet, ripping off the vault doors and using them as shields to defend from Spacethority officers. Another scene features a Slaughterbus going down the street, only to be hit by another Slaughterbus with much more weaponry. The montage ends with three Slaughterbuses joining forces to ram into Old Timey Space Malt, leaving an explosion of 50s music, milkshakes, and old-timey biker jackets.
???: Yes... it's perfect. Phase one is complete.
The scenes of Slaughterbus antics zoom out, revealing a programmer at a computer, preparing to launch the first trailer.
INTERN: Bribes sent to OGS for that 9 out of 10, sir.
MISTER PROGRAMMER MAN: Excellent. Initiate coffee break.
The scene cuts to gameplay from the Slaughterbus Simulator Simulator mode, with Mister Programmer Man ineptly trying to escape an awkward conversation about a football game he missed without spilling coffee. The trailer ends as physics kick in and he ragdolls onto the floor, leaving a coffee stain on the carpet.