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Eyerio

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This is a joke article, possibly made to make fun of all the "long lost brother/cousin/father/mother/child/relative/whatever of Mario and Luigi" characters. Understand that it is not supposed to be taken seriously.


Eyerio
Eyerio
<insert name here>
jumping to squish Eyerio
Full Name Eyerio
Current Age <insert mario's age here>
Date of Birth 32nd of August
Zodiac Sign Satan
Gender polygenderfluid who eyedentifies as a light bulb
Species Decaclops
Location Mushroom Kingdom
Current Status who knows if he even counts as a living thing
Class Satanic
Main Weapon(s) <insert name here>
Element(s) poison
Ability/ies Radioactivity
Vulnerable To Zario's Love
Ethnicity Supposedly Italian
First Appearance Super Eyerio World
Latest Appearance unknown ATM
Affiliation(s)
Space
Family and Relations
Mario (long lost brother)

Luigi (long lost sister)

Zario (Fiance)

Alias(es)
who
Voice Actor(s)
<insert name here>

Eyerio is a radioactive being that is very complex, but is absolutely fabulous.

Description

Biography

What the fuck is this
<insert name here>

, after seeing Eyerio
Eyerio is a decaclops who is purple for only satan knows why. He isn't even born on a date allowed on Earth, he was born during a rip in space time, and lost there for several years. He became so radioactive that the first person he interacted with, Luigi. Unfortunately, he lost the amount to do this after Luigi became a girl. He has so many eyes that he can see much more of the visible spectrum than normal humans, but still not all colors. He went on a spaceship on a journey to find others like him. Currently, he has only found one, Zario, and they are now in a homosexual relationship as they travel across galaxies searching for more, and are currently engaged. Other than Zario, he has found no one like himself.

Physical

Finally, I found another like me
Himself, meeting Zario

Eyerio is a human of average size and height. Due to mutation, his skin has been transformed to purple. He wears purple shoes, a pruple shirt and hat, and lime turquoise overalls. His eyes are bright green. He has grown eyes everywhere, and his clothes are made to adjust as such. He looks rather similar to Mario, don't you think?

Personality

Oh hey, it's Zario. <insert name here> , let's kill it and eat it
Himself

Eyerio believes that he is perfect. As such, he has very high confidence when facing Eyeser, so he cannot be beaten. He can be rather full of himself at times, though. This can lead to situations that can be particularly testing.

Abilities

He has many abilities, including but not limited to:

  • Radioactive Mind Blasts
  • Thunder
  • Seeing in the dark
  • Willingly glow in the dark
  • Become the dark
  • Burning everything
  • Jump
  • Get
  • And many more!

Side effects of being near him

Due to him being radioactive, he causes many side effects to the people around him, mainly these 53:

  1. Screaming and yelling constantly, never stopping ever and shrieking and growling and generally being a dick.
  2. Being on the Sun.
  3. Becoming the Sun.
  4. Passing the time day after day with menial distractions while your aging body slowly decays and inches it’s way toward death.
  5. Depression.
  6. Acceptance.
  7. Thinking it’s Tuesday when it’s Wednesday.
  8. Rock solid abs.
  9. Emotions.
  10. Punctuating everything you say with clapping.
  11. Teaching Chemistry.
  12. Losing all of your earthly possessions but gaining eternal enlightenment.
  13. Feeling upset when bad things happen to loved ones.
  14. Having more eyes
  15. Giving up soup forever
  16. Standing in a large green room looking at a list of side effects.
  17. Standing up for your beliefs.
  18. Standing still.
  19. Only moving your feet!?!?!?!?!
  20. Incorrect use of punctuation
  21. Understanding exactly what this game is and how it plays and what you do and how you win and then deleting it off your hard drive and doing something else
  22. Playing a video game
  23. Wondering ‘Who?’
  24. Not wondering ‘Who?’
  25. Not playing a video game
  26. The ability to smell fear
  27. Thinking you have the ability to smell fear
  28. Being better than other people.
  29. Loving yourself just the way you are.
  30. Not experiencing side effects
  31. Turning that frown all the way down.
  32. Not playing a demo
  33. Repeating yourself
  34. Not playing a demo
  35. Repeating yourself
  36. Locked in bitter struggle with your alter-identity
  37. Repeating yourself
  38. Being Spiderman
  39. Loss of all bodily control
  40. Regining bodily control
  41. Bodily control remaining the same.
  42. Unable to see the colours blue, orange,           and red.
  43. Nausea.
  44. Uncontrollable bleeding from every oriface.
  45. Breathing heavily.
  46. Breathing.
  47. Making lots of noise with your big fat mouth.
  48. Vomiting
  49. Eating your vomit
  50. Vomiting your vomit
  51. Stop eating vomit bro
  52. Hey why can’t you respect my decisions it’s my life
  53. It’s my life it’s my life

So if you experience any of these, please go to your doctor and explain your contact with Eyerio and/or Zario.

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