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- Zelda: [Looks at the dumpster, with Link already standing inside of it] Err...is this safe?
- Link: Probably not, no.
- Sally: Is this even legal???
- Sonic: Nope.
- [He pushes the dumpster towards the downward sloping road, then jumps inside once it starts going on its own.]
- Sonic: YEEEE-HAAWWW!!
- Link: WHOOO!!
- [Link (as Michael Palin) walks down a hallway. Upon reaching a door, he opens it and walks inside. Almost immediately, Sonic (as Graham Chapman) looks up and glares at him.]
- Sonic: WHADDAYOU WANT?!
- Link: Well, I was told outside that-
- Sonic: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!!
- Link: What??
- Sonic: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT!! YOUR TYPE REALLY MAKES ME PUKE, YOU VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
- Link: Yes, but I came here for an argument!
- Sonic: Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, but this is Abuse.
- Link: Oh, I see, well that explains-
- Sonic: Ah, you want room 12A, just along the corridor.
- Link: Oh, thank you very much, sorry.
- Sonic: Not at all.
- Link: Thank you.
- [Link exits the room.]
- Sonic: Stupid git...
"Crossover Mania's Flying Circus"
- [Sly is reading "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". Agent 9 pops up from behind the chair.]
- Agent 9: Whatcha readin'?
- Sly: Harry Potter.
- Agent 9: Oh! That's a good one; Snape kills Dumbledore by the end of it.
- [Sly's eyes widen.]
- Sly: DAMMIT!!
- [He whacks Agent 9 with the hard-cover book.]
- Agent 9: OW!!
- Sly: THANKS FOR SPOILING IT, YOU BLOODY ARSEHOLE!!
- Sonic: That chick's crazy!! She makes Amy look like a normal person!! A perfectly normal person!!
"What's New, Tabi Cat?"
- Link: Man, you totally spoil that Vaporeon.
- Linebeck: I do not!
- Link: Oh really? Then explain that.
- [He points at the red velvet cushion that Peaches is sleeping on.]
- Linebeck: ...umm...I stole it from Jolene?
- Link: Riiight...
- [Spyro and Ty are on the Big Bunyan Ride in Rickety Town.]
- Ty: Come on and ride! Big Bunyan Ride! No place to hide! Big Bunyan Ride!
- [Spyro grins.]
- Spyro: Come on inside! Big Bunyan Ride! We'll ride n' ride! Into the night!
- Both: You will scream and cry and then you'll die! Then you'll die! Then you'll die! Then you'll die!
- [They both fall silent.]
- Ty: .....we'll die?
- [Link is standing next to Spyro.]
- Link: Hey Spyro, watch this.
- [He throws an Algebra book on the floor, then walks over to Sonic, who's talking to Sally. He taps him on the shoulder.]
- Sonic: Huh?
- Link: Sonic, look! [he points at the Algebra book] Is that an Algebra book?
- [Sonic's eye twitches and he growls.]
- Link: Go git it!
- Sonic: ROOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!
- [He pulls a flamethrower out of nowhere and runs at the book, then proceeds to burn it into a pile of ash.]
- Spyro: Where'd he get the flamethrower??? O.o"
- Sparx: Cool!
- [Sally facepalms.]
- Sally: That stain will take forever to get out.
- Link: Peewee, what's wrong?
- Peewee: I-I can't b-believe it...th-this g-guy's actually s-smarter than me...!! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!
- [He sits on the couch, trying to not cry.]
- Link: Hmm...I know what'll cheer you up!
- [Peewee looks up, sniffling.]
- Peewee: W-What...?
- Link: It's called "The Ugly Bokoblin".
- Peewee: Uh...
- Link: There once was an ugly Bokoblin. He was so ugly, that everyone died. The end.
- [He grins as Peewee's expression changes from curiosity to grief.]
- Peewee: THAT DIDN'T HELP AT ALL!!
- [He jumps off the couch and bolts from the room, sobbing.]
"Are You Smarter Than An Arferon?"
"Nooo!! I'm allergic to Algebra!!"
"Sorry, I'm too busy being awesome to hear ya!"
"Don't worry, there's only an 87.92% chance you'll be horribly maimed and disfigured!"
"Hey guys, can you not go into the basement for, like, a couple of weeks?"
"Aww dammit, my shoes melted to the floor again."