| Season 1, episode 13|
| Written &|
"The Other Earth"
Body Closet is thirteenth episode in the first season of Fantendo Now. It is the thirteenth episode overall.
Rachel starts dating someone that may not be what they say they are.
Rachel and Unten are ice skating and chatting.
- Rachel: It's getting kind of cold out there.
- Unten: Well, it is December.
- Rachel: Yeah, but the cold starts later, doesn't it? It never starts in the beginning of December.
- Unten: Well maybe down there but here it gets pretty cold early.
- Rachel: Right.
- Unten: So uh... how's Robyn?
- Rachel: She's... good. She's made some friends. They're taking good care of her.
- Unten: ...sorry.
- Rachel: No... it's fine.
Rachel stops at a gate built into the wall.
- Rachel: Hey, I'm gonna get some hot chocolate, I'll be right back.
- Unten: Okay!
Unten skates on his lonesome until Leah comes across him.
- Unten: Hi?
- Leah: Heyo.
- Unten: What do you want?
- Leah: I'm not here for anything.
- Unten: No... you always want something.
Leah rolls her eyes.
- Leah: Look, I'm just here to provide you some goddamn company for once in your lonely existence, is that a reason enough? X-Ray's home sick-
- Unten: Didn't you vaccinate her?
- Leah: Something slipped through I guess.
- Unten: Well, hope she gets better.
- Leah: She will... she will. What were you and Rachel talking about? Does it involve me?
- Unten: It never involves you!
- Leah: How the fuck am I supposed to know?
- Unten: I dunno.
- Leah: How long does it take Rachel to get hot chocolate usually?
- Unten: Why?
- Leah: Cuz it looks like it's gonna be a while.
Leah points to the window, where they can clearly see Rachel talking with some guy.
Unten sits on the couch next to Sakeena as Rachel and her new boyfriend, Hal, talk in the other room.
- Sakeena: Do you know how they met or?
- Unten: Me?
- Sakeena: Yeah, I wanna do fanfiction.
- Unten: I dunno, I was chatting with Leah and then she pointed at the window and they were talking.
- Sakeena: Hrm.
- Unten: What?
- Sakeena: Usually I'm good at writing couples with no basis in canon, but this one I just can't and this one is canon, so what...?
- Unten: Canon?
- Sakeena: I feel like.. this isn't genuine on his part.
- Unten: Well, who am I to judge who Rachel dates?
- Sakeena: Who am I?
- Unten: Like... you know... what kind of person would I be to judge the kind of people Rachel dates?
- Sakeena: Yeah, but my sentence had nothing to do with you.
- Rachel: Bye Unten and Sakeena! See ya after the date!
Rachel and Hal leave.
- Sakeena: You wanna stalk them?
- Unten: What?
- Sakeena: It'll be fun, we'll like hiding in the potted plant and then I can pose as a waiter while you get into shenanigans in the kitchen...
- Unten: Why the hell would I do that? I wouldn't like it if I got stalked on my date.
- Sakeena: You never wanna do anything fun.
Sakeena leaves the room as Unten lays on the couch and sleeps.
Strafe, Unten, PalmMan, Sakeena, and Leah get burgers.
- Unten: ...where is Rachel?
- Leah: Probably still sore from last night... if you know what I mean.
- Unten: Why would she be sore?
Strafe whispers into Unten's ear.
- Unten: Leah!
Leah sticks her tongue out.
- Unten: ...ugh.
- Leah: Oh never mind, she's here.
Rachel sits down. Unten gets the impression something is off, but maybe she's just sore.
- Sakeena: So, how did it go?
- Rachel: Well, I didn't appreciate the stalking.
- Unten: You actually did it?
- Sakeena: What else was I gonna do on a Friday night? Be pathetic?
Rachel rolls her eyes.
- Rachel: What are we eating, burgers?
- Unten: Yeah we usually get burgers every once in a while.
- Rachel: We can't be eating this junk food, come on.
- Unten: I thought you liked this...
- Rachel: Nah, let's eat something more healthy. Bodies are fragile things after all!
- Sakeena: Oh... alright...
- PalmMan: Fuck this, I'm eating my burger.
Unten enters the Tropical Glacier where Strafe, PalmMan and Sakeena are meeting.
- Unten: Why are we here?
- Strafe: Rachel won't let us eat anything that's not some healthy bullshit.
- Unten: Wouldn't she know we're here?
- Strafe: None of us told her that we'd be here.
- Unten: Hah...
Unten puts away his phone.
- Unten: So... we're gonna eat here in secret now or?
- PalmMan: No. We're gonna find out what's up.
- Unten: It is a bit of a drastic lifestyle change, sure, but we should respect her privacy.
- Sakeena: Look, I've written Rachel in my fanfictions pretty well, this is very out of character for her.
- Unten: Fine! You guys are right. What are we gonna do about it?
- Strafe: Break into her boyfriend's house.
- Unten: I'm sorry... what?
A woman behind the counter looks stern with Strafe.
- Woman: Hey, as a former crook myself, I don't recommend it.
- Strafe: It's not a crime if we have good intentions.
- Unten: ...IT'S STILL A CRIME! OH my GOD.
- Sakeena: Look, we're just gonna snoop around a bit, see if there's anything really fishy. If not, we'll leave like 30 bucks to replace the window.
- Strafe: What, are you a goody two shoes now? We're sneaking into this place, seeing what's up, and just leave or end it.
- Unten: Ya'll are supposed to be the good guys! I'm a horrible leader if we're seriously doing this!
- Strafe: We're doing it tonight.
- Unten: Ugh... I'm only tagging along to make sure you don't do anything stupid.
- Strafe: Fair enough.
The woman rolls her eyes and perks up as she sees a man in a green polo shirt enter.
- Unten: Wonder what their story is.
- Strafe: Eh, time to get ready, come on!
Strafe and the others stand before Hal's house.
- Strafe: Alright. Unten and PalmMan will go on the first floor, me and Sakeena are gonna look at the upper floors. Sneak around, don't steal.
- PalmMan: Ooh... don't call me PalmMan. If we're doing this, I wanna be called...
PalmMan pauses for dramatic effect.
- PalmMan: SneakMan.
- Strafe: No, nobody's gonna be calling you SneakMan.
- PalmMan: I want to be called SneakMan though!
- Unten: Jesus Christ. Just call him SneakMan so we can get done with this. Fucking hell.
- Strafe: Fine, SneakMan, go with Unten.
- SneakMan: Alright, cool.
The gang breaks in through a window, being much louder than expected.
- Strafe: SHHHHHH!
- SneakMan: You shush! I'm the SneakMan around here.
Strafe sighs heavily as the group breaks into the dark house. Unten and SneakMan glance around.
- SneakMan: (whispering harshly) You see anything?
- Unten: No...
- SneakMan: Alright, I'll be up against this wall... sneaking.
Unten rolls his eyes as he trips over a trapdoor.
- Unten: ...Huh.
Strafe and Sakeena look up stairs.
- Strafe: This place is... weirdly empty for a couple.
- Sakeena: Absolutely.
- Strafe: He's gotta be hiding something, right?
- Sakeena: For sure.
- Strafe: Mmm...
Strafe looks at a thong on the floor.
- Strafe: We should probably...
- Sakeena: Yeah...
Strafe and Sakeena step out of the room. They bump into SneakMan.
- Strafe: PalmMan?
- SneakMan: It's SneakMan!
- Strafe: Where's Unten?
- Strafe: Oh no...
Strafe runs downstairs. SneakMan sneaks downstairs much to Strafe's annoyance.
- Strafe: He probably went down this trap door, we should follow.
- SneakMan: Sneakily.
- Strafe: Shut up.
Unten walks down a dark passageway.
- Unten: Rachel?
The tunnel echoes.
- Unten: Not looking good...
Unten turns around to see Rachel in athletic wear.
- Unten: Oh... thank god you're still alive!
Unten hugs Rachel, who returns the hug.
- Rachel: C'mon, I gotta show you this.
- Unten: ...alright. But then we're getting out of here, okay...?
- Rachel: Yeah, yeah, alright.
- Unten: I don't like what your new boyfriend has made you do... he changed so much of you.
- Rachel: I guess so... but it was the proper precautions, I think.
- Unten: Precautions to what? Becoming this boring person who won't even let us eat a burger and demands we exercise three hours a day?
- Rachel: You need to keep your body healthy.
- Unten: Yeah, so what? You ate a steak without cutting it up, you drive motorcycles to get around, and you used to crash on the weekends in sweats eating cheese puffs. What changed?
- Rachel: You'll see soon enough.
- Unten: ...what happened to my friend?
- Rachel: I said you'll see soon enough.
Rachel opens a door, revealing a large room filled with bodies in cryofreeze chambers.
- Unten: What... the fuck?
- Rachel: I suppose I should explain myself. I'm not really Rachel... well I mean I am, but I'm just using her body.
- Unten: W-why?
- Rachel: She suited my needs. A young woman with natural black hair, great metabolism... perfect body to suit my needs here.
- Unten: She let you do this?
- Rachel: Not exactly, no. Truth be told, her screaming was almost enough to put me off, but I'm stronger than that. I am Halcyon, after all. It's what I do. These bodies... all mine to use.
- Unten: Why would you tell me all this?
- Halcyon!Rachel: Well, you would have figured it out sooner or later. Looking through her memories... it seems like you have quite a crush on this "Rachel".
Unten stands flustered but angry.
- Unten: So what?
- Halcyon!Rachel: Come on, don't you want me?
- Unten: N-y-no!
- Halcyon!Rachel: Well, I could always use a Beorn body, in that case.
Halcyon!Rachel grabs Unten. Strafe and Sakeena burst in.
- Strafe: Rachel!
- Sakeena: Unten!
SneakMan sneaks in.
- SneakMan: God damn it, you guys took the exclamations I was gonna use.
- Halcyon!Rachel: Oh... your friends are here. Shame we couldn't keep it a secret-
Unten kicks Halcyon in the stomach. Halcyon falls to the floor.
- Halcyon: Think about Rachel, would you...? This is her body...
Unten pauses. He looks around, seeing Hal's body. A cord is limply attached to it.
- Unten: ...I know where her mind is.
Unten releases Hal's body, awakening it.
- Hal: Unten?
- Strafe: Rachel...
- Hal: Oh god, why am I in Hal's body?
- Unten: No time to explain!
Halcyon charges towards Unten. A cord is attached to him by SneakMan. Unten flips a switch, shocking both Hal and Rachel's bodies. Both bodies fall to the floor, groaning in agony.
- Unten: Thanks SneakMan.
- Rachel: Ugh... where am I?
- Strafe: We'll... explain later.
Sakeena traps Hal's body in metal.
- Unten: We'll have F.A.N.T deal with this. Let's get Rachel home.
- Rachel: ...Sounds good...
Rachel is dragged out by Unten and Strafe.
Rachel wears a blanket and drinks some coffee.
- Rachel: So my boyfriend was a mind-switching creep huh.
- Unten: Yeah.
- Rachel: Wonder what he did with my body.
- Unten: You were mostly exercising and eating healthy.
Rachel spits onto the floor.
- Rachel: Gross.
- Unten: Heh... yeah. You're okay, right?
- Rachel: Yeah, I'm fine if a bit sore. Thanks... for getting me out of there.
- Unten: No problem.
- Rachel: You're a good friend, you know that? You're not perfect, sure, but I could have been some dude's puppet body for who knows how long.
- Unten: Well, it was mostly Strafe.
- Rachel: That doesn't really change much though. I'm glad you're my friend, even if things are a little awkward between us.
- Rachel: I dunno. I feel fairly confident about my decision. The situation isn't really ideal between us but you didn't get weird when I started dating some weirdo. That's a lot better than anyone else ever did for me in the past.
Rachel hugs him.
- Unten: I'm totally okay if you want to date anyone else.
- Rachel: Don't think I'll be trying it with anyone else but... thanks.
Rachel sips her coffee as she stares out to the stars.
- Rachel: Your old friends are out there, I know it. Just... don't forget us if we ever find them, okay? That would be devastating to me.
- Unten: I couldn't ever forget you guys. Especially not you.
- Rachel: That's good to know. I know I'm not the most interesting person but...
- Unten: Rachel... that's not even remotely true. You're probably the most interesting person I know.
Rachel sits in silence.
- Rachel: And you... well, you're definitely up there. Don't let anyone get you down.
Unten and Rachel sit and gaze out at the stars as the episode ends.