Beorns from County Hell is a story in the New Fantendoverse following Reten and new character Plum as they fight against an interdimensional godlike version of Unten.
Act 1: First Strike[]
Prologue I: Here I Go Again[]
The chapter opens on a dark room, the only source of light being 3 monitors illuminating a figure. He taps on a keyboard, bringing up a blurry photo of an orange furry creature on a motorcycle. He leans in as a small burner phone on his table begins vibrating. The figure picks it up and flicks it open.
???: Talk to me.
A crackly voice sounds from the other end.
"Belltower": This is Belltower. I need your assistance once again, Eye.
Eye: Alright. What's the job? And the pay?
He taps on the keyboard with one hand, bringing up more pictures of the orange creature.
"Belltower": Protection. Some asshats have found the Godfortress. I need you on guard duty. I'll give you 10k upfront-
Eye: 10k? Fuck off.
"Belltower": ...10k upfront and a fancy new weapon. Try listening next time.
Eye: ...Deal.
He snaps the phone shut and gets up. We see that he is missing an arm but this is soon fixed when he props his arm stump up against a large weapon on a stand that locks on and fitted as an arm. He opens the door to the room as the camera pans out to show it is a large armoured vehicle of some kind roaring across a desert.
Eye: Krox! We're heading to the Godfortress!
Krox: Aye, sir.
The vehicle turns and speeds off into a different direction. Meanwhile, surprisingly close to Doomulus Eye and his servant Krox, a black-and-white Harley-Davidsion WLA roars across the outskirts of Arizona music blaring from the boombox on its side. The camera pans up to show Reten, his jacket flapping in the wind and a grin on his face as he charges through the area. The song changes as he sets his sights on some sort of canyon across the border in New Mexico.
I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Reten kicks at a switch on the Bike, which actives some sort of thruster attached to the ends of the Maid-01. The bike kicks up onto its back wheel before setting down and firing off into New Mexico.
Hanging on the promises In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
The bike gets to the canyon quickly and we can then see that it’s not a canyon, it's some sort of outpost with several buildings inside the hole. As Reten curves his bike along the edge of the hole a large gun on a tower swivels to aim at him. He dodges a blue plasma bolt narrowly before dipping down, riding the bike down the canyon.
But, here I go again
Here I go again
The beorn’s bike smashes through a wall, scattering soldiers and rubble as he roars across the base. He ducks and weaves through soldiers and projectiles, heading closer to the center of the outpost.
Tho' I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray You give me strength to carry on,
Reten weaved through the chaos he had caused, firing volleys from his full-auto pistol Sol, causing the soldiers to scatter as they tried to return fire.
'Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
Reten weaved through the chaos he had caused, firing volleys from his full-auto pistol Sol, causing the soldiers to scatter as they tried to return fire. His bike skids next to a staircase where he parks. Hopping off the bike and quickly going down the stairs.
An' here I go again on my own
He jumps onto a guard at the bottom, his claws sinking through cracks in his armour. With frightening speed he unholsters his two pistols and dispatches the other 3 guards. Running through what appears to be a prison block. He peers through the cells before stopping at one.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Reten: Well, Spree. How’re things?
SPREE
ARTIFICIAL BEORN
MIND CLONE
SWORDSMAN
Spree peers through the bars, sighing in relief.
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone
Spree: Thank god. You got here fast.
Reten: Praise me later, we gotta get outta here.
Reten takes out a jerry can and begins pouring liquid thermite on the bars.
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
Reten: Stand back.
Spree: Ruby’s in the Maximum Security Block.
He takes out a zippo lighter, flicking it on and rubbing it against the bars just enough to ignite the thermite. He quickly stands back as it flares up into a blinding white light.
Reten: Cheers.
While the thermite burns through the bars on Spree’s cell, Reten makes his way down the hall to the more heavily guarded cells. He dispatches the guards with his pistols before putting them away and stabbing the last 2 with his claws. He walks towards a cell in the middle where a girl sits in the middle. Her hair seems to glow red, almost like neon. She looks up and smiles at Reten.
I'm just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love's sweet charity
Reten: Heya, Ruby.
Ruby: Heya, Reten.
Reten takes out a duffel bag from his coat and pushes it against the wall. He opens it to reveal several assorted explosives of many types and a switchboard that primes them.
An' I'm gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
Reten flicks some switches and takes several steps back. Ruby does the same, pressing against the opposite wall. As Reten glares from behind a wall, watching the bag tick, a heavily armoured guard walks in and hits his chest.
???: RETEN!
Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
Reten looks back at him
Reten: …Eh?
Tamagon: I AM CORPORAL TAMAGON! TOP WARRIOR OF THE ZETA UNIT IN THE LKC, MISS AI’S MOST TRUSTED SOLDIER….AND YOU’RE GOING DOWN!!
An' here I go again on my own
Reten stands up and faces Tamagon, glancing back at the bomb. He gestures for Tamagon to come at him which prompts the Corporal to take a halberd off his back and charge at Reten. Reten dodges the weapon and executes a judo throw to Tamagon, causing him to smack into the glass wall, over the duffel bag as it explodes.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone
Ruby runs out and follows Reten back the way he came with Spree jumping out of his cell when they pass. The 3 run towards his bike but are stopped as a wall of guards jumps in front. They part to let 3 individuals through: A dark-skinned woman in a suit, a crimson armoured Beorn and a red-haired man in a white coat.
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
(music over)
Reten: Alright, folks…
Reten holsters his pistols, reaches into his jacket and pulls out a large chaingun, to the shock of his two allies.
Ruby: Whoa!
Spree: Where the hell were you keeping that!?
The red-haired man steps away from the other two while the Beorn takes a large warhammer off her back and glares at Reten. The woman in the middle stares Reten down
Reten: ...Step outta the way…
The chaingun starts spinning. The red-haired man reaches for a remote on his wrist. The Beorn slams her hammer into the ground. The woman keeps staring him down.
Reten: ...Or I'll waste you all, comprende?
The woman steps forward, the Beorn and the red-haired man look on in worry.
Latt Ai: Reten, lower your gun.
Reten doesn't lower the gun but he does raise an eyebrow.
Reten: Eh? I never told you my name...
Latt Ai keeps walking forward, Reten keeps the chaingun revved. The staredown between the two continues.
Latt Ai: Well that's just the thing…
Latt Ai walks beside Reten, who slowly lowers the chaingun.
Latt AI: ...You didn't need to, dimension hopper.
Latt AI goes for a swift elbow strike but Reten had anticipated such nonsense and proceeded to clock her with the chaingun. She was knocked back and landed on her feet. She brushes her shoulder and looks to her two allies.
Latt AI.: Plum. Dr. Gai. Let's rock.
Plum swings her warhammer and holds it in two hands while Norman removes his coat, revealing a strange suit covering him as 2 shoulder pieces slide out. Reten suddenly fires his chaingun, sweeping and taking out the grunts. He expends its small ammo supply and throws it to the ground. He unholsters Sol and Heartbreaker and twirls them.
Reten: Spree. Blood Ruby. Let's roll.
Red energy crackles over Ruby’s hands as Spree unsheathes his saber.
Prologue II: You'll Pay For That[]
Plum tumbles back, hooking her Warhammer into the ground and getting to her feet shakily. Norman Gai slams his fist down but is blocked by a red shield formed by Ruby and slashed by Spree. He drops to his knees, groaning in pain. Latt Ai, who has stood back during the whole fight, steps forward. Reten cracks his knuckles and grins at her. Plum runs at his side and Reten elbows her in the stomach before driving his knee into her jaw, sending her sprawling away.
Latt Ai: Nice move, where'd you learn that from?
Reten: My ex. So since we've beaten these two, are you gonna grace our presence now?
Latt Ai: That’s one way to put it.
She stretches and throws off her jacket, a purple and gold device can be seen clipped to her belt. The battlefield stands still as the 3 jailbreakers brace themselves for her attack.
Latt Ai: THREATENING MEMORY GEAR!
She twirls a similarly-coloured gear stick in her hands and plugs it into the device, black energy crackles along them.
Latt Ai: ACTIVATE!
The device shifts, forming a grid with 10 slots.
Latt Ai: Shift Gear! Vee-Aye!
She moves the stick into the slot labelled VI. Her body begins to shimmer and change. Reten and friends look on in confusion.
Reten: ...Is it just me or is this really confusing? Spree: Nah, this is confusing as shit. Ruby: Mmm.
Latt Ai: The Threat was one of the greatest threats the Earth has ever faced and although she may be out
of the picture, I still have access to her minion’s powers.
Reten clamps a toothpick between his teeth.
Reten: The hell kinda name is “The Threat”?
Spree: Is her super form “Death Threat”?
The three snicker among themselves as Latt Ai finishes her transformation. Her skin is now a dark blue, her arms are folded and her mouth seems toothier than usual.
Latt Ai: Well, better to die laughing than crying.
She unfolds her arms, revealing the serrated blades they’ve become, her mouth then opens like a pair of mandibles, revealing her mouth is a fuckton more toothier than usual. She dashes forward and stabs forward with one of her arms. It cuts to slow motion with Reten narrowly dodging the blade, his toothpick knocked out of his mouth. Spree is to the other side of him, his blade scraping against her’s. Ruby is in the center, forming a shield out of Power Malice but is too slow. Latt Ai stabs Ruby through the chest to the shock of the two Beorns.
Spree: RUBY!
Reten catches the toothpick and chomps on it again.
Reten: Sunnuva…
Spree charges at Latt Ai, the two locking blades with ferocious speed, meanwhile, Reten rushes over to Norman Gai, who is trying to get to his feet.
Norman: Hey-
Reten kicks his head against a wall, knocking him out again. He grabs one of his arms and taps some buttons on his shoulder monitor thing. Spree sees what Reten’s doing and understands, he repositions himself and kicks Latt Ai in the chest, stunning her. Reten makes the final adjustment, and Norman’s arm stretches out and slams into her back. Ruby stretches her arm out weakly and forms one of her knuckledusters on Spree’s hand. She grins at him when he turns back.
Ruby: K-knuckle up…
Spree grins back at her, turning to Latt Ai who’s back is arched from the strike. He jumps up and slams the gauntlet into her face.
Spree: AND GUARD YA GRILL!
Latt Ai hits the ground hard, cracking it. Reten suddenly remembers something as several explosions go off.
Spree: The hell was that? Reten: The bombs I set up to sow chaos if this took too long.
Several prisoners of the LKC rush out of the building, overwhelming the LKC soldiers easily. One of them, a skeletal mercenary in grey armour, hops down and jumps onto the Maid-01, Reten notices instantly and rushes to stop him.
Reten: Oi! Off my bike you Skeletor-lookin scumba-
The mercenary drives right past Reten, the two lock eyes and glare at each other as he escapes. Reten makes a mental note to shove that man’s head up his own ass the next time they meet. But, there are more pressing matters now. Like how Latt Ai’s back up, is being flanked by several intimidating figures and that all 3 of them are surrounded by LKC soldiers. They’ve been arrested.
Fuck.
3 Arrests Later…
Reten stands at a mugshot booth, flipping off the camera in both photos.
Latt Ai (Voiceover): His name is Reten, he’s a Beorn and a dangerous one at that. He hails from a dead universe where he was a well known and deadly mercenary. He’s adaptable, resourceful and merciless but worst of all he’s extremely quick to violence. Maximum security.
The shot switches to Spree, who simply glares into the camera.
Latt Ai (Voiceover): Spree. From what we can tell he’s some sort of test tube Beorn, who obtained Reten’s memories through some form of radio inteference. He’s a deadly swordsman but is a little bit more merciful than his psychic counterpart. Regular security
Finally, the shot switches to Ruby, who has bandages along her torso but still looks like she’s in serious pain.
Latt Ai (Voiceover): And finally, Blood Ruby. She’s extremely volatile and despite having a hole the size of your arm in her stomach right now would easily burn you to death like an Arsonist at a BBQ. Maximum Security. The 3 are locked into their cells, all 3 of them despairing after their defeat.
Chapter I: Godfortress[]
Chapter I1: We're not actually at the Godfortress yet[]
Reten, Spree and Ruby all walk through the halls of the prison block, all 3 of them looking for some way out. They are brought to a conference room with Latt Ai sitting at the other end of a table. The 3 are seated and all of the guards file out, closing the door behind them.
Latt Ai: That was some impressive stuff you did out there. Not many are able to stand against my Threatening Gear like you three did.
Reten: What’s this all about? Where are we? And finally, What the FUCK!?
Latt Ai: Let me explain your situation. I am Latt Ai, CEO and Chief Director of the Launch Kraken Coalition, a PMC built to fight extraterrestrial or supernatural threats...At a price.
Reten: Isn’t there a government thing for that? FLAT or something?
Latt Ai: Yes, FANT. They’re more of an X-Files kinda thing. We’re more Independence Day.
Reten: With Will Smith? Good fuckin’ movie.
Latt Ai nods.
Spree: So where do we come in?
Latt Ai: Right now you’re in the Atari Landfill, our biggest and main outpost. A few kilometers from where you’re standing is a large, floating golden entity that’s giving off magic, keterwave and interdimensional disturbance radiation so strong that it nearly broke our equipment when we locked on.
Reten: Sounds like a Godfortress.
Latt Ai: And that’s why we need you. We estimate that this Godfortress as you called it, came from your universe the same way you did.
Reten: Another question, how do you know I’m from another world?
Latt Ai: We’ve exacted the science on interdimensional travel. Atleast... Everything except actually doing it. Our sensors are fine tuned for a more subtle form of energy given off by Heralds and other more refined forms of dimension-hopping, so when we saw a bomb’s worth of interdimensional disturbance energy go off in the middle of Nevada...Well, it was obvious something big had happened. Now, back to the Godfortress. There’s a malevolent force we need to deal with from there. Right now, you 3 fall in the middle of a venn diagram of the circles “Powerful” and “Expendable” so, were sending you out.
Reten: What’s in it for us? Latt Ai holds up a Driver’s License with Reten’s mugshot as the portrait.
Latt Ai: Fake IDs, although you can’t really call them fake because they’re actually being made by the government. These will let you pass around the country without any troubles. As well as that we’ll give you a large sum of cash and you can keep whatever you find in the Godfortress that we don’t need.
Reten’s eyes turn to dollar signs.
Reten: Ease of access, cash and scavenging? You sure know how to convince me, Miss. Ai.
Latt Ai: Please, Miss. Ai was my mother, just Latt Ai will do. So, do we have a deal?
The three get into a huddle. After a bit of discussion, they turn around.
Reten: After some back-n-forth and a realisation that we spent all our gas money, we’re in.
Latt Ai: Well, good. Because you didn't really have a choice since you can't escape.
The three look at their new patron with the smuggest grins they can muster.
Ruby: Yeaaah…
Spree: Mhm.
Reten: Pfft. Sure.
She sighs, then points to Reten.
Reten: You and Plum will head to the Godfortress.
Reten leans forward glaring at Latt Ai with suspicion.
Reten: What about Spree and Ruby?
Latt Ai: Ruby is still recovering from her abdominal wound -sorry, dear, by the way.- And Spree… Is needed elsewhere.
This was news to Spree.
Latt Ai: I’ll also be dispatching several squadrons of LKC soldiers and Dr. Gai, strictly as a non-fighting medic.
Reten: So I get MC Hammer, a handful of puttymen and an eldritch pacifist?
Latt Ai: Will that be a problem, Reten?
Reten: ...I want a new set of wheels. Access to your armory, and one of those Memory Gear thingies.
Latt Ai: Done, done and unfortunately not. If a power boost is what you're looking for then I can get another form of artifact on a similar level.
Reten: Alright. Deal.
The two lean over and shake on it.
Latt Ai: Ruby, you can go back to the medbay. Try not to let Gai prod at you too much. Reten, Plum has been briefed and is waiting outside with your transport. Spree, stay here.
Ruby and Reten walk out, leaving Spree and Latt Ai alone. After a few seconds of silence she suddenly shifts into her Threatening Gear VI forme and slashes down at Spree, who in the blink of an eye had unsheathed his rapier and blocked the strike without even getting up from his seat. Latt Ai retracted her arm and shifted the Memory Gear back into neutral.
Latt Ai: Impressive. I knew you were the right one for this.
Spree: The hell was that about?
Latt Ai: Now, Reten and Plum’s mission is pretty black ops, but yours is off even our books. There’s another threat on that Godfortress that FANT or anyone else can’t know about unless it’s necessary. More briefing will come later but for now just know that you’re being teamed up with 2 members of the Oyajava, the elite guard of the LKC. Their names are Firefly and Blak. Head to the Prison block again and one of them will lead you to the Stealth Bomber. Any questions?
Spree: Can I take a look at your armory as well?
Spree takes out his sword again, which has been scratched and cracked in many places along the blade.
Spree: Need a new sword.
Latt Ai: Sure.
Spree catches up to Reten.
Reten: Lemme guess. Can’t tell me about your secret spy mission?
Spree: I don’t know much to tell anyway.
A guard opens the door to the armory for the two beorns, Reten gasps as he looks upon rows and rows of pistols, shotguns, rifles, artillery and many other forms of weapons. He quickly begins grabbing sawed-off shotguns, HE grenades and shotgun shells and stuffing them into his jacket. Spree moves to the melee weapon section and begins testing out swords. He picks up a green sheath-shaped device with MECHAHOPPER BLADE V.0023 printed on the side in black. He presses a button and very nearly stabs himself in the face as the blade shoots out over his shoulder. He shrugs and slots it into a compartment on his metal leg. Might come in handy.
He keeps looking, going through several blades of similar silliness and putting them back before setting his sights on a large flamberge on a wall, he lifts it up and looks it over, noticing a trigger on the handle, pointing the blade forward he squeezes the trigger and watches as the blade fires a tractor beam, grabbing and impaling an empty 12 gauge. He removes the shotgun shell and grabs the sheath for the blade off the wall. He walks back to Reten, who has a shopping cart (where did he get it?) full of enough firepower for a well-sized nation.
Reten: Nice sword.
Spree: Nice ransacking of their entire armory
Reten shrugs and leans against the cart.
Reten: I see an opportunity and I take it. You ready to go?
Spree: Might as well. Cya man.
Reten: Yeah, godspeed.
The two walk out, making their way to their own transports to the Godfortress. It cuts to Ruby, sitting alone in a bed in the medi-bay.
Ruby: Man, this sucks.
Chapter I2: We're at the Godfortress[]
We see Plum standing alone in a steel room, her eyes closed and her hammer held in one hand. A section of the wall suddenly shots forward, flying towards her. She blocks it with the top of her hammer before pushing it back and smashing it with an upward swing. Another panel goes to ram into her which Plum strikes with the pommel of her hammer before breaking it aswell. A flurry of plates fly at her and are thrown back in pieces by Plum. After several minutes Plum stands in a pile of shattered steel, panting with the hammer over her shoulder. Then an armoured black bird opens the door to her room.
Plum: Blak.
Blak: Just wanted you to know the plane’s going in 10 minutes so you should wrap up your uh…”Training”.
Plum nods and Blak walks out. She presses a button on a remote laying on a desk, which causes the debris to fly back into their respective spots on the wall and begin self-repairing. She straps on her armour and leaves the room.
It cuts to her leaning on the side of a large helicopter, with Reten walking towards her. He stops and Plum glares at him, his greatest rival.
Plum: Reten.
Reten: Holy shit we fought like once get over it.
Reten walks past her, much to the annoyance of Plum who wanted Epic Tension between her and her Greatest Rival. She sighs and walks in. Several more soldiers file in and they soon take off.
The helicopter is flying through the air. 2 LKC soldiers are piloting, Plum is reading through several files on the Doomuli and Reten is sitting out the side door, his legs dangling off the edge as he listens to music through earbuds on his Soundwave figure*. It seems rather peaceful until they come into sight of the Godfortress.
The Godfortress is massive, a large sprawling structure of mostly metallic gold with several glowing lines of cyan going over it. None of that was what got Reten’s attention however, as he was focused on the large Anti-Aircraft Missile Launcher currently swivelling to lock onto the helicopter. He scrambles up as it locks onto the aircraft.
Reten: ANTI-AIRCRAFTS! MOVE!
The pilots turn but are too late as the first missile hits them. Although the helicopter miraculously holds together one of the pilots are thrown out the window from the force while the other cracks their head on the dashboard and slumps out of their seat. Reten sprints from his spot, jumping over a stumbling soldier who he kicks in the face in order to jump towards the seat. As the helicopter begins nose diving he grabs the steering joystick and plants his feet on either side of the dashboard, pulling them up. The helicopter begins to level out and Reten sits into a much more orthodox piloting position. Reten points to a random soldier.
Reten: You. Pilot.
The soldier and Reten swap places. Plum stands up groggily.
Plum: What the hell was that?
Reten: Anti-Aircraft Missles. I don’t even know how we’re still flying still.
Reten opens up a large shutter on the wall, revealing several weapons. He picks out an RPG Launcher and slings it over his shoulder as he walks over to the open door, where two LKC soldiers have been providing cover fire. They move out of the way as Reten kneels down and lines up the shot.
Plum: There’s no way you’ll hit that.
Reten: 20 Bucks.
Plum: Fuck it, 200.
Reten fires the missle, it hits under the launcher itself and destroys its turning mechanism, causing the whole machine to fall on its side and explode. Reten drops the empty launcher and holds out his hand. Plum swears repeatedly under her breath and slaps a wad of bills into his hand. Reten grins and shoves them into his jacket. The helicopter soon lands on a further section of the massive structure, the soldiers filing out and forming a perimeter. Plum and Reten walk out, looking about. Within a few minutes the soldiers have set up a respectable outpost, with many barricades and makeshift housings already being set up.
Reten: Rather efficient.
Plum: We’re good like that.
A soldier throws a case to Reten, who catches it.
Reten: Swiggity Swace, what’s in the briefcase?
Soldier: What? Uh, it’s some sorta artifact. Commander wanted you to get it.
Reten opens it up, taking out a small orb covered in runes. Reten: What is it? Some kinda earring?
Soldier: I believe so.
Reten shrugs and puts it on his ear.
Reten: Oh, I’m feeling something…
Several soldiers run past urgently, which catches Plum’s attention. Reten winces and holds his head.
Plum: What’s happening!?
Soldier: In short? Some serious shit!
Plum and Reten look at eachother and silently follow them, brandishing their weapons as they do.
Chapter II: Zaxinian Lifts[]
Chapter IIA: We're not actually in the Zaxinian Lifts yet.[]
Reten, Plum and a group of LKC soldiers run towards the center of the Godfortress to find themselves in a warzone, with LKC squadrons squaring off against armies of catoneans and sparklings, all wearing a strange alien symbol. In the middle of them a blue beorn in a cloak floats, observing the battlefield.
Reten: What. The. Fuck.
Plum: Must’ve been the guys who were manning that cannon. We gotta deal with them.
The blue beorn turns to Reten and Plum, looking directly at them.
The Tragedy: Ah! If it isn’t the godless paladin and the universe destroyer.
Reten: God, does everyone here know about that!?
The Tragedy: Reten, I have been waiting for you.
Reten has a bad feeling about this.
The Tragedy: ...Miss Kannon sends her regards
Plum turns to Reten but he’s already gone running towards The Tragedy.
The orange beorn dives right into a cluster of catoneans and opens fire, dropping them all as he runs forward.
I am the son of rock'n'roll'
I got the masses under my control
I like to drink, I love the dope
I want your money and I want your hope
He dispatches others of the Tragedy’s army as he passes, either with Sol and Heartbreaker or his own six claws. A large robot being powered and piloted by a sparkling fires a blue beam at Reten which he narrowly avoids.
Your money and your hope
Your money and your hope
Your money and your hope
He runs straight at the Mech, jumping onto it and punching out the camera.
Vaguely epic are my lyrics
Jealous folks are the only critics
Top of the world and I know why
The world is a pigsty
The sparkling inside looks around, blinded from outside before Reten’s hands reach down and throw him out. He hops in and kicks the front of the mech off before unloading all of the mech’s armaments into the Tragedy’s army.
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
He throws two grenades behind him before hitting full throttle on the mech and jumping out, sending it flying towards its own army before it explodes. Reten runs at The Tragedy, who has merely been observing all of this.
I am a bad motherfucker
Live long and well thanks to suckers
Live long and well thanks to suckers
I am a bad motherfucker
Reten: YOU’RE DEAD MOTHERFUCKER!
Reten’s right arm swings, which Tragedy anticipated and easily blocked
Got to say thanks to Rock 'n' Roll
but is then hit in the gut with the claws of his left arm. Enraged, Tragedy grabs Reten by the claws and kicks him in the chest, ripping them right off his hands.
It got me into a whole lot of holes
Plum rushes forward as The Tragedy strikes Reten with his own claws, using them as throwing daggers.
They hear my voice I touch their souls
Too bad my heart is a heart of coal
Before he can finish off the orange beorn with a lightning bolt Plum forms a barrier around Reten before clocking the blue beorn across the head with her hammer.
And it don't matter none
If you make the juices run
The bank account will stun
Another one of the mechs drops down and takes aim at Plum, who gets ready to fight only for the pilot to be distracted by the back of his mech being opened.
I'm only here for myself
I've got a big fuck you for everybody else
Mech Pilot: Hey what the f-AHUGH!
The sound of a Catonean being ripped in two is followed by Dr. Norman Gai, in his EX-Strength mode and a cigar in his mouth punching the mech open. He drops down in slow-motion, flicking his cigar to the side before decapitating another catonean with a backhand. He jogs over to Plum, his eyes glued to Reten.
Not only empty but empty and loud
I wonder if my father is proud
Dr. Gai: Jesus. What happened to him?
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Plum: Get him out of here. NOW!
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Son of Rock 'n' Roll
Norman swings the poor beorn over his shoulder, looking to Plum and to the approaching hordes lead by the Tragedy with concern.
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Dr. Gai: What are you gonna do?
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Plum: Me?
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Plum cracks her neck, showing a black sigil in her fur on the left side. She slams the pommel of her hammer into the ground, which mysteriously echoes around the Godfortress.
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Plum: I’m gonna do my fucking job.
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Get what you can, while you can and get out (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Green energy crackles over the beorn’s body as she lifts her hammer up above her head. With the force of atleast three and a half gods Plum slams her hammer into the ground, the green energy shooting out like a thunderbolt and cracking the godfortress, creating a ravine across it and sending shockwaves and tremors which scatter The Tragedy’s forces. She slowly walks (or more accurately, hobbles) after Norman.
I am a bad motherfucker (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Live long and well thanks to suckers (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Live long and well thanks to suckers (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
I am a bad motherfucker (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
I am a bad motherfucker (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
I am a bad motherfucker (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
I am a bad motherfucker (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
I am a bad motherfucker (Son of Rock 'n' Roll)
Eventually, all three of them make it into one of the rooms of the Godfortress, lined with several doors.
Plum: What is all of this?
Dr. Gai: Portals. I managed to rig them up to some breaker switches so we can actually use them. Those guys, The Tragedy’s army, they’ve taken a lot of ground. But they don’t know about the portals. Might be wise to jump through one and regroup.
Several LKC soldiers file in, shooting back at the approaching enemies. Norman’s eyes dart around as he tries to remember which portal would be best. As his hand hovers over the control board in the center of the room a bomb bursts through the roof, ticking away. Plum’s eyes widen.
Plum: BOMB! CLEAR A PATH!
The soldiers jump out of the way as Plum uses her geokinesis to push it out of the way. Once its clear she falls to her knees.
Dr. Gai: You’re over-exerting yourself, Plum. May I suggest you take a bre-
Plum: DO YOUR DAMN JOB, DOC!
The Doctor sighes and hits a switch at random, one of the portals crackles to life and all of the LKC units, Norman, Plum and Reten included go through.
Chapter IIB: Is this joke done yet?[]
It’s been about 24 hours since the last chapter. The LKC operatives have set up a makeshift base on the Zaxinian Lifts planet Oderanz. The camera pans to a medical bay, where Norman is bringing a mangled Reten back to a stable condition. Plum is waiting outside, her eyes closed as she kneels over her hammer. Eventually the door opens and Plum springs to her feet to see Norman cleaning blood off his gloves with a cloth.
Inside, Reten’s eyes begin to open. He looks at his hand, which is now adorned with 3 long black blades hinged in the middle replacing his claws. He closes and opens his hand. He’s pretty sure he couldn’t do that before. The beorn sits up, noticing a similar black metal all along his body. Norman walks back in.
Norman: Ah, you’re up.
Reten: What...what the hell is all this? Where’s the blue fucker?
Norman: That is carbon fiber, I’ve seamlessly attached it to your body as a form of bulletproof measure. I got the idea after replacing your claws. We managed to escape through one of the portals. You’re welcome.
Reten: Portals?!
Norman: Portals. The Godfortress’s gimmick is that it encapsulates important moments from history, either by creating sorta pocket dimensions that play them over and over again or by creating pipelines to the real moments.
Reten goes silent for a bit. Norman throws him his jacket.
Norman: Sorry if I’ve overwhelmed you, we-
Reten: How long...was I out?
Norman: Hard to tell, I’d say roughly a day.
Reten nods, putting his jacket back on. He walks out of the med-bay to be instantly shouted at by Plum.
Plum: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? YOU JUST RAN UP AND STARTED FIGHTING ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL CREATURES IN THE MULTIVERSE! YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO A STUNT LIKE...where’d he go.
Reten had walked away about halfway through her rant and was currently surveying the landscape with some binoculars. Plum marches over and is about to start ranting again when Reten preemptively shuts her up.
Reten: There’s a weapon cache down there, I recognize the model. It’s from my world.
Plum takes the binoculars and glares through them.
Plum: How did it end up here?
Reten: Same way I did, I suppose. A lot of the stuff from Huxxabu got lightly salted over this universe. The cache’s still locked but I can pop it open easy, then we’ll have some serious shit to hit The Tragedy with.
Plum: Alright, I’ll get Norman and then we can move out.
Then group assemble and make their way towards the Weapon Cache. Meanwhile, back on the Godfortress, The Tragedy has assembled several soldiers. A siandrall with a metal jaw, three spider-like humanoids, a Deoxys in a suit clearly not meant for his body type and a cyborg sparkling.
The Tragedy: ...I want the orange Beorn alive. Do with the rest as you see fit. Now go!
They all silently march through the Godfortress portal, arriving just where Norman and Plum did previously. They are instantly met with severa LKC soldiers. The siandrall steps forward with several knives in his hands, held upside down.
The Bohemian: Lets get this party started!
We cut back to Reten leading Norman and Plum to the cache, he is blocked by an armoured and masked guard of vaguely beorn shape.
Feral Knight: Halt! I am the Feral Knight! This Cache is off limits!
Reten: What’s stopping me from just kicking your ass and taking it?
Feral Knight: This!
The Feral Knight brandishes a small hexagonal badge, black and white in colour.
Feral Knight: This powerful weapon will turn me into a monstrous being who will destroy you all!
Reten thinks for a moment. Then shrugs.
Reten: Yeah. That sounds pretty scary. I’ll be on my way then.
He goes to walk past the Knight but bumps into him, slyly grabbing the Badge but also falling over and spilling a bunch of pogs.
Feral Knight: Oh! My apologies!
Reten: It’s fine, its fine. My fault
Reten scoops up the pogs, the Badge among them and keeps walking. He nods to Plum and Norman, who are both extremely confused at what has happened, to follow him. The 3 regroup a bit away from the Cache.
Reten: I stole his badge, lol.
Plum: Did you...say “lol”?
Reten: What? He’s without his shiny thing now, lets go kick his ass.
The three return, their shadows casting over Feral Knight.
Feral Knight: Hmph, you three again. What do you want?
After a bit of off-screen asskickery the poor Knight is thrown into a nearby dumpster, leaving Reten and company to get into the Cache.
Reten: Bear witness to my magic!
He produces a large pole with a strange spiky crystal at the other end, Reten sticks it into a circular hole in the Weapon Cache and opens it, revealing a small fortune in alien weapons along its six surfaces as it folds out.
Reten: Dig in. I’m gonna fiddle with this badge a bit.
Norman stretches his arms out behind him ,forming a sort of flesh basket to carry them in.
Plum: That’s horrifying, Norman.
Reten: That’s wicked, Norman.
Norman: Mhm.
The three are heading back to the camp with Norman carrying all the weapons, Reten examining the badge and Plum feeling worried. They arrive at the camp to find a massacre.
Blood and body parts are strewn everywhere, some laid out in lines militaristically and others simply left where they died. In the center stands and sits the mercenaries who ripped the camp and its soldiers to shreds, chatting and loitering.
We zoom in on the group, seeing the metal-jawed Siandrall chatting up the medically dressed of the Audax Sisters.
The Bohemian: So you’re a Greater Arachnid? What’s that mean?
Ria Audax: It’s an umbrella term for any species that’s like a spider or scorpion or whatever but also exhibits higher forms of intelligence.
The Bohemian: Ahh, I see….I was a Lamenter yknow.
Ria Audax: A what?
Plum and Norman freeze up in abject horror, Reten gets pissed and walks forward. Not one for introductions, he simply takes out a grenade and throws it into the crowd, due to the shoddiness and volatility of the explosive it detonates the moment it hits the ground, scattering the mercenaries.
Reten: I’m Reten, you just killed my...acquaintances? I guess? Whatever, you’re gonna be joining them soon.
The Deoxys stands up and takes his sniper rifle off his back.
Nimrod: Unlikely. How’s a no-name like yourself gonna kill some of the best mercs in the Milky Way?
Reten: No name? You’re talking to the Strafe Lockborn killer, motherfucka! Show some respect!
Ria Audax: I’m..pretty sure Strafe Lockborn is still alive.
Reten: Ah, right alternate universe. Still, I’m gonna make you fear these two syllables since you don’t already. Re. Ten. Got that?
The Siandrall steps forward, twirling a balisong between his fingers.
The Bohemian: Well, there’s an annoying voice I never thought I’d hear again.
Reten: YOU.
Reten’s voice is dripping with so much venom that for a short moment Reten was in the top 10 most poisonous creatures in the Zaxinian Lifts. The mercs as well as Plum and Norman, all recognizing an unhappy reunion when they see it step to the sides to watch what will surely be an entertaining confrontation.
Reten stares down The Bohemian. If looks could kill he would’ve knocked down the building behind him as well as vaporizing the siandrall. The Bohemian looks at Reten in annoyance.
Reten’s grip on the badge tightens as his mind hones in on one, single goal.
Kill The Bohemian, the lanky cowardly bastard.
Intermission: A Tale of Swords and Souls[]
A Stealth Fighter lands on a corner of the Godfortress, away from the nonsense happening near the portals. Spree, Firefly and Blak file out with the latter carrying a tablet he looks over.
Blak: Alright! I can now give you the brief. There’s some guy camped out here who’s guarding some serious tech we need to fight The Tragedy’s forces. None of our guards were able to deal with him.
Firefly walks out, loading her gun.
Firefly: Yourself included.
Blak shoots her a glare and then continues.
Blak: We believe that you might be able to take him on. Even when you were holding back you were matching Latt Ai’s strength in that fi-.
Spree: Hold up. I wasn’t holding back. That was my A-Game out there.
Blak: ...You sure? It seemed like you were pulling your punches. Slashes. Whatever.
Spree: Naw, man. She nearly killed me!
Blak thinks for a moment. Then it hits him.
Blak: Take your coat off, please.
Spree, looking confused, complies. Blak leans down and spots a metal cylinder embedded in the center of his back. He grabs the cylinder between his fingers and pulls it out causing Spree to yelp.
Blak: Inhibitor Slug. You’re a U-Hive Beorn so they must’ve stuck it on to limit your abilities.
Spree: U...Hive?
Blak: You crashed in a pod right? Chances are you came from there. They take the DNA of endangered species...Chozos, Beorns, Deoxys etc. and creates artificial clones of them in order to bring them back from the brink of extinction. Nobody’s ever found the U-Hive but we know it exists.
Spree: Neat.
The three arrive at the center of the ruins. On a small spiral stone structure a figure drabbed in white and gold, a hood covering his face besides his black beak sticking out sits and drinks a can of bud light.
Spree: This is the guy?
Blak: Yeah. He doesn’t look like much but he beat both of us at the same time.
Spree: I’ve never seen you fight so that’s not a good measure of power. For all I know you two could just be complete shit.
Blak:...Shut up and fight the murderhobo.
Spree shrugs and walks closer to the spiral while putting his jacket back on, getting the bird’s attention.
Bird: What do you want, Beorn?
Spree draws his Alpha Flamberge, pointing it at his opponent.
Spree: To fight you! I guess…
Bird: Very well.
The bird hops down, pulling his hood down and reaching into his white and gold cloak. He pulls out a white and gold straight handle, an energy blade soon forming from its receiver. Spree settles into a fighting stance while the bird downs his bud light. The beorn rushes at his opponent, who throws the bud light can towards Spree to distract him before slashing at his waist in a flash. Spree manages to dodge but gets conked by the can. The two push back, putting distance between each other before running at each other again and unleashing a flurry of blocks and attacks. Blak and Firefly watch in awe.
Blak: Damn. He’s really good. Why are we here again?
Firefly looks down the sights of her rifle, aiming at the Bird’s feet.
Firefly: To do this.
She fires, a steel rod flying out of her rifle. The bird hops over it and without skipping a beat pins Blak and Firefly to the wall with two knives.
Blak: ...Great plan.
Firefly: Shut up!
Spree blocks an overhead strike and strikes the bird’s gut with his elbow. He keels over and Spree hits him over the head with the pommel of his sword. The bird, in a daze, jumps back onto his pillar.
The Bird: You are a powerful swordsman, but our true fight shall be at another time.
Spree: Fuck that! I get paid to bring you in!
Spree unscrews the pommel of his sword and before the bird can jump away throws it, hitting him in the temple and causing him to tumble onto the ground. Blak and Firefly respectfully clap.
Chapter III: Other Earth[]
Chapter IIIA: Da Mystery of Sage Badgin'[]
The Bohemian walks towards Reten, the camera zooming in on the reflection of his eye to show Reten walking towards him as well, glowing orange. The beorn eventually keels over, causing Bo to speed up and attempt to punt him in the head. As Reten begins to shift and change form, he grabs Bo by the foot, looking up as the star-shaped irises in his eyes begin to shift into the shape of spades.
Bo: What in the goddamn-
Reten gets back on two feet and throws Bo at a wall as his body finally morphs fully into Gigaten. The siandrall manages to catch himself, using his knives to lessen the impact against the wall. He lands on his feet, pointing at Gigaten with his knife.
Bo: KILL HIM! KILL THAT BASTARD!
Two portals appear behind Gigaten, he reaches into them and pulls out two other Gigatens, one brown and the other mechanical.
Nimrod: This is getting out of hand, now there are three of them!
The Bohemian reached into his jacket and pulls out two shiny purple daggers. The metal stretches forward, lengthening the blades before he runs at Gigaten. Plum takes advantage of how everyone else is focusing on the fight by striking Nimrod with her hammer, sending him flying. Norman picks up on this que and increases the mass in his foot before slamming it down, scattering soldiers and the Audax sisters. The main Gigaten and Bo trade blows as the brown Gigaten begins attacking the soldiers with a pair of shotguns and the robotic one fires portal-like buzzsaws at Nimrod. Plum takes a moment to assess the situation.
Plum: He actually got the badge working!?
Norman: Seems to be a-
A soldier attempts to fire at him, Norman catches the bullets with tentacles and throws them into his head.
Norman: -n emotional trigger. He got real mad when he saw the Siandrall guy and that allowed him to become...that.
Plum: So what’s the game plan?
Plum slams her foot down, sending pillars of the ground up to trip up and strike the approaching grunts.
Norman: Let him deal with the siandrall. We should focus on those other mercs. Plum: Right.
The two run towards Nimrod and the Sisters, who are regrouping and gearing up for combat.
Meanwhile, Main Gigaten punches Bo in the stomach and lifts him up, his claws squeezing around his torso. He screams.
Gigaten: This is what you deserve.
Shakily, Bo lifts up a detonator and hits the switch, a large purple block appears from a portal and hits Gigaten in the face, knocking both of them away from it. It seems to melt and form around Bo as armour. He twirls his similarly-coloured knives and begins walking towards Gigaten, who gets to his feet.
Bo: Cyrium. It’s quite the metal. It can be controlled psychically with the right frequencies and it ev-
Gigaten punches Bo in the face, prompting him to shut up and stab his arm, going through the carbon fibre. He screams and kicks him in the stomach, sending him back. The beorn pulls the knife out of his arm, and crushes it in his hand. He then unleashes a devastating assault on Bo, punching his face, torso and knocking his other knife out of his hand. Bo manages to block a strike, the fist landing in a dent in the armour it made earlier. New cyrium begins to form around his hand, filling the dent and trapping him there. Bo twists Gigaten’s arm and kicks him in the head, continuing to kick him until he drops to his knees. Bo removes the beorn’s hand and holds his own up, the crushed knife reforming in it. He goes to strike him down but his hand (and the dagger) are wrapped in rock. Plum throws her hammer at Bo, knocking him away from Gigaten, who’s reverting back into Reten. Plum runs up to the fallen Beorn.
Reten: Oooh...That huurrt.
Plum helps him to his feet. He slips the Badge back into his jacket as Bo gets into his feet. He snaps into a fighting position as his armour regenerates and his two knives form into a long two-prong trident. Bo pulls out a strange looking gun and shoots behind the two, forming a portal on the ground. In the short moment of their confusion Bo kicks Reten into it, Plum looking in.
Plum: Ey Norman! We’re moving out!
Norman, who has been catching the concentrated gunfire of Nimrod, Ria Audax and assorted soldiers throws the bullets back at them in a large shotgun spread, causing them and just about everyone else to take cover. In the confusion he and Plum jump through. The Audax sisters and Nimrod watch the portal close.
Dangerous: ...Shit. The two remaining Gigatens step forward. The 4 Mercs get ready to fight.
Chapter IIIB: Unten Dies![]
Reten, Plum and Norman land outside the portal, near some sort of F.A.N.T. compound. Reten looks around wildly, reloading his guns quickly.
Reten: Where did he fuckin go?
Plum: Reten. Who the hell is this?
Reten sighs, then turns back to Plum.
Reten: He calls himself The Bohemian, and I never got a real name off him so I just called him Bo. He used to be a part of the Lamenters but he sold us out. Now I’m gonna find that bastard and use his intestines as a scarf the rat bast-.
Norman: Caaalm yourself. We need a plan, not gruesome imagery.
Reten breaths deeply, then begins walking forward.
Reten: You’re right. Scout out the place. Try not to get spotted. His ultimate goal is to deal with us so we just have to wait until he strikes.
The other two nod and the group moves out, going closer into the base.
From above, Bo watches the group, formulating his next move.
It cuts to a Lucario in a suit walking through the facility, drinking a milkshake. He walks into a storage room and turns on the light, revealing Reten hanging off the ceiling. The door closes and Reten beats the shit out of him before walking out wearing his suit and drinking his smoothie. Plum and Norman are leaning against a wall outside.
Norman: Oh hey...Agent Tamzarian.
Reten: It’s bullshit that I’m the only one who needs a disguise, why the hell do you guys get to walk around as yourself?
Plum: The Coalition work heavily with FANT. I’ve been here several times before.
Reten blows a raspberry and moves past her, keeping his eyes peeled for the Siandrall.
Reten: Well, finding him is gonna be hard as shit. Is there anything we can do in the meantime?
Plum: We could raid the armory.
Reten blinks.
Reten: There’s...an armory here?
Plum nods, a little worried now. The three begin moving down the hall towards the armoury. They pass by several agents wheeling a bodybag on a tray through the hall. Reten watches the bodybag, noticing how the person inside still seems to be breathing. His eyes widen before The Bohemian bursts out of it, carrying a shotgun. He fires a shot that sends the agents around the area into a panic. Reten and Co. book it for the armory. Reten closes the door behind him.
Reten: Shit. We got like 20 seconds before he approaches. Gimme something good.
Plum throws him a pistol.
Plum: It’ll stun him so you can blow his brains out with your own gear.
Reten: That’s what I’m talkin about!
Reten goes to open the door, and sees that Bo has formed his Cyrium armour into 8 armed drones.
Reten: ...Nevermind.
He discards the pistol, seeing a shotgun on the wall. He picks it up, revealing an axehead attached under the barrell. He grins as he pumps it. begins to play Music begins to play
Reten: Dope.
Norman, who’s up on the balcony, picks up a pair of shades.
Norman: Hey, check these out!
Reten: Throw em down here!
Bo is kicking at the door, Reten rolls a propulsion grenade up to it. Norman throws the shades down and Reten catches them by the side, putting them on his face as the Propulsion grenade explodes.
Listen all you motherfuckers!
The doors get knocked off their hinges and sending Bo flying back.
Reten walks out and chops a cyrium drone in half with the axe on his gun.
Listen all you motherfuckers!
He blows the next one to bits with a well-aimed shot to the head and blocks a strike from the 3rd drone with his arm. He kicks them back and fires a few shots at them.
Thats the naame of the game!
Thats the naame of the game!
The drone charges and Plum knocks its head off with her hammer. Followed by Norman punching a hole through its chest.
Thats the naame of the game!
Thats the naame of the game!
Norman and Plum begin dispatching the other drones as Reten gives chase to the fleeing Bo, shoving FANT agents aside as he fires down the hall.
Yo!
Top of the crown,
Kill the queen,
The fatal mistake in your cradle,
Can't shake the dreams of fire
inside of your phonograph,
Bo throws a cyrium dagger back, which hits Reten in the chest and embeds into the carbon fibre plating. The beorn shrugs and watches Bo turn a corner. He pulls a mining laser out from his coat and points it at the wall. The camera cuts to Bo running past, looking back and throwing a grenade behind him. He chuckles as he waits for Reten to turn the corner and become Beorn Bits, the nutritious Plarax Star treat. In actuality Reten bursts out the wall and punches Bo in the face. The siandrall spins and falls on his ass as Reten cracks his knuckles.
Battered with gas,
And give you room to breathe,
Through an adequate mask
Everybody in front,
Let me see ya pumpin' ya fists,
If you up in the back room,
When you rockin' with this.
Reten: Gotcha.
Plum and Norman soon follow.
Come on, Keepin' ya speaker knockin',
Jumpin', bangin', bumpin', blazin', Hot
Callin' all freaks,
Callin' all freaks now.
Plum: I’ll let you deal with this guy.
The Bohemian: Hell no, this isn’t how I go out.
Bo throws a concussion grenade at the three and scrambles for the exit. The group trails after him as Plum sends sharpened chunks of the ground flying at him, Norman fires the axe-shotgun at him and Reten fires Sol and Heartbreaker. He manages to block all of this fire with a Cyrium shield as he runs through the area. Reten fires a well aimed shot and blows Bo’s arm off, sending him reeling to the side. He gets to his feet and staggers forward, pulling his portal gun out from its holster. Some distant chatter can be heard.
Yo, yo
Callin' all freaks,
Callin' all freaks now.
Zerita: ...Sheesh, what's up with her?
Unten: I dunno.
Plum squints into the distance.
Plum: Is that…?
That's right
Callin' all freaks
Callin' all freaks
Callin' all freaks
Reten keeps moving, aiming at Bo’s head. Everything seems to slow down.
Netnu: I suppose she has a point though… if the shapeshifter was going to attack here, it would probably be the last place for her to go. The place is swarming with operatives.
Unten: Yeah… but not all them are equipped to take on something like that shapeshifter, right?
Bo turns around, moving closer to the figures standing in the distance. He smiles at Reten who snarls at him. They both fire.
Get em up in the back row
Reten’s bullet flies through the air, a red light blinking on it. Bo’s portal gun generates another gateway under him, which he falls through.
Get em up in the back row
The bullet scrapes his scalp and keeps going, causing him to cry out in pain. The bullet eventually hits Unten straight in the head, blowing his brain to bits and causing his body to fall to the ground.
Reten falls on one knee, the pain of fighting and the consequences of his actions hitting him.
I said get em up in the back room!
Reten: ...Is that the Threat guy?
Zerita: UNTEN!
The catonean falls to his side, she looks up with death in her eyes and immediately fires at Reten.
Reten: Oh shit.
Motherfucker
Callin' all
Callin' all
Callin' all
Callin' all
Callin' all
Chapter IIIC: But First, Let's talk about Parallel Universes[]
Reten watches as Zerita fires her oxidized bullets at him. He’s able to see them because they seem to have frozen in mid-air, along with everything else around him. Reten looks around to see Plum charging forward, Norman looking in shock at Unten’s corpse, Bo screaming and grabbing his head inside of the getaway. Reten takes the time to stick a knife in the top of his cranium, still kinda in shock from what’s happened. He sees an outline shimmer in front of him as a sort of door opens up in the middle of reality. A purple floating mass glares across as it floats to him. It prods Reten in the chest with a tentacle.
: What the FUCK did you do!?
Reten: ...I’m sorry what?
The mass gestures to Unten’s corpse.
: Y’see that?!? THAT’S Unten. And in this universe he’s worth your ass ten times over! By going back in time and killing him you’ve fucked EVERYTHING up!
Reten: ...I was aiming for the other guy.
The mass groans and begins pacing around Reten.
: Okokok. I have a fix for this. Watch closely.
Everything in Reten’s vision seems to distort as Reten, The Bohemian, Plum, Norman and the mass shift to another part of the FANT base.
: Alright. There. Unten lives. But just so I don’t have to do any more paperwork let’s deal with that doomed timeline I just made.
The mass snaps its tentacles together and they snap back to the previous scene. Reten, who’s very confused right now puts his hands into a T-pose.
Reten: Time out. What the fuck is any of this?
: Ok. Quick infodump. I’m an elder god who’s been assigned to watch over this universe. That Unten guy does some important shit later on so he can’t die right now. I just split the timeline so your little fight with the siandrall lead you to the other side of the FANT base. Now, as payment for making me do all this shit…
The mass reaches into Reten and pulls an orange orb out of him, causing Reten to scream in excruiating pain. The orb forms into another Reten, wearing Unten’s cloak and carrying an Imperium shaped as a rifle.
Reten: What...the FUCK!
: I dub thee, Victory Reten. And you’re still Reten Prime.
Reten: Reten Prime? You better start making sense you jelly motherfucker!
: For the sake of keeping this timeline functional I’m gonna swap out the dead Unten with this clone of you. It’ll change stuff up but since it’s an isotopic timeline it’s not as important. Now, I’m gonna leave. Good night, fuck you for making me do this.
The mass begins to walk towards the doorway it created. Reten grabs its arm.
Reten: Oh hell no. You’re gonna explain this shit!
: You don’t get that privilege. You’re just a 3-dimensional mortal.
Reten throws a punch at the mass as his vision and the camera go to a blinding white.
Reten blinks and he’s on the other side of the compound. The Bohemian, who’s head now has a clean cut over the top from the bullet is crawling away as Plum and Norman begin moving after him. After re-orientating himself Reten follows them. It pans over to the shadows as Reten grabs the Siandrall, pushes him to a wall and putting Heartbreaker to his head.
Reten: Oh, How it pains me to do this!
Bo: W-wait! I'm still useful!
Reten: Wanna bet?
Bo: RETE-
He fires, splattering the wall with blood.
It cuts to Reten examining Bo’s device inside a shack, with Plum peeking out to make sure no FANT agents are nearby and Norman sifting through the stuff he stole.
Plum: The whole place is on high alert. We need to book it back to the Landfill. Or the Godfortress. Basically, anywhere but here.
Reten presses a button on the side of the gun and the trigger slides out.
Reten: Ok I figured it out. Let’s head back to Nevada.
Reten shoots it at the wall and the 3 book it, appearing in the open area of the Landfill 2 feet in the air.
They all fall onto the ground and slowly rise up, groaning in pain.
Reten: My bad. Co-ordinates are hard.
Plum sits up, glares at him and sighs as she falls back in exhaustion.
Act 2: The Son of Doom[]
Chapter I: Be Not Afraid of Any Man[]
Plum and Norman are seated at a table in Norman's quarters. Plum is chugging an entire carton of milk while Norman is smoking a cigar. Reten walks in with a bottle of Keinz EZ Squeeze Ketchup that mysteriously has his likeness on it.
Reten: Man, I forgot I had that deal with Keinz. Should really go and collect my royalties.
Norman: Hold on, our technology is here is possibly the most advanced when it comes to tracking down entities who have entered that dimension. How the fuck did a ketchup company find you before we did?
Reten: That's a funny story, actually...
The scene changes to show a lucario in a suit walking down an alley. A silver-skinned man with chunks of machinery and circurtry hanging off him appears from the shadows and points a sawed-off at the lucario.
Simulant: Hand over ya valuables! Reeall slowly.
Lucario: Oh shit. P-please dont hurt me...
The lucario is reaching for his wallet when Reten passes by. The simulant looks at him in confusion.
Reten: 'Scuse me, fellas.
He continues to move past them but stops in his tracks when the Simulant whips out a revolver and presses the barrel to his temple.
Simulant: You too. Between the two of you I should have enough dosh to get off this bloody rock!
Reten looks at him calmly before swatting his revolver away and stabbing him in the chest. The simulant screams but is cut off when Reten pulls out its battery, shutting him off.
Reten: Fuckin simulants, am I right?
The lucario is still in shock from what has just happened. He eventually snaps out of it, grabbing and shaking Reten's hand.
Lucario: T-thank you so much sir! W-who are you?
Reten: Uh, Reten.
Lucario: What, like Unten's brother or something?
Reten: Yeah, sure, whatever you say.
Reten attempts to walk away but the Lucario offers him a business card.
Lucario: I work for Keinz Ketchup, we're currently working on some hero-related merchandise. If you're up for it I could get you a spot.
Reten: ...Do I get paid?
Lucario: Of course!
Reten: Aight, sure.
The two shake hands and Reten walks off while the Lucario fumbles with his phone, trying to call his manager to tell him what happened.
The flashback ends to show Reten smiling as he pours ketchup on pancake. Norman and Plum look on in disgust.
Reten: What? But yeah, thats how I got on a ketchup bottle.
Norman: Huh.
Plum contemplates concussing Reten when he starts putting sprinkles on his war crime of a pancake.
The group are back in Latt Ai's office with Blak, Firefly, Spree, Reten, Plum and Norman seated before the LKC's CEO. She looks disgruntled.
Latt Ai: So, what happened with the Tragedy?
Plum: We severely underestimated him and his forces. He beat the crap out of Reten...
Reten: You weren't exactly kicking ass either!
Plum: ...We ended up losing control of the Godfortress. I would suggest bolstering our forces, maybe getting a FANT squad in and going back in to finish the job.
Latt Ai: Hmm, I dont wanna go running to baldie but if they're really as strong as you say then the feds will probably force their way into this anyway. In the meantime we need to work on our own forces. I'll bring in every Oyajava member, every soldier we have, every merc we can afford. That blue bastard will rue the day he happened to fuck me over. Until then, I'll let you rest.
Reten is the first to go up and leave.
Latt Ai: Except for you Reten.
Plum and Spree snicker and leave with their fellow LKC soldiers. Reten slumps back down.
Latt Ai: First of all, I was watching you via drone. I just wanted to make sure Plum was trustworthy.
Reten: Isn't she one of your highest-ranked and loyal soldiers.
Latt Ai: Yeah, I'm awfully paranoid, ok?
Reten: Eh, same.
Latt Ai: So, you fought the Tragedy. By all accounts he should've atomized you but he didn't. I dont know why nor do I care. What I care about is that he clearly doesn't want you dead, atleast not now. Therefore, you're our best shot at killing him.
Reten: ...That makes sense.
Latt Ai: I'm willing to up the reward becau-.
Reten: No need. I have stake in this now.
Latt Ai looks surprised, but doesn't push it.
Latt Ai: Regardless, you're one of our better assets right now. I noticed you didn't use your Galvan Earring during the fight?
Reten reaches up and pokes it.
Reten: Huh, I completely forgot about it. What does it do?
Latt Ai: The ring lets you apply incorporeality to yourself and objects you touch.
Reten tests by having his hand phase through the table, amazed at this development.
Latt Ai: You also forgot your car.
Reten: Man this is co-wait car?
Latt Ai stands up and walks down the hall, gesturing for Reten to follow.
The two walk down to the LKC hangar, moving past several helicopters and other miliitary vehicles before eventually the two stand before a 1971 Dodge Charger.
Latt Ai: One of my old cars. You're a bit of a mechanic, right? I'll let you get to work.
Reten: Man, I really appreciate this, thanks!
Latt Ai smiles and walks off while Reten takes out several toolboxes from his jacket and pops open the car's hood.
It cuts to about an hour later. Reten has riveted armour plating onto the car as well as added several more strange additions, including a single bird cage on the car's hood. He phases through the top of the car, resting his arms on it and looking down at the exposed engine. He hears a clicking noise and just barely dodges a projectile aimed at the side of his head. He wastes no time phasing down into the car, landing in the driver seat and pointing a lever-action rifle out of the window at the assailant.
Ria Audax quickly ducks behind some crates, avoiding the gunfire from Reten. She loads another syringe into her ChemRifle and aims over the creates, looking through the 6 scopes that match up with her eyes. she begins attempting to pierce the door of the car with syringes. Reten phases out the other side of the car and tosses a grenade over to Ria. It rolls near her foot causing her to look down.
Ria: Shit.
It detonates but the explosion is deflected from Ria. When the dust clears it is shown that an aura shield protected her from the blast. Dangerous Audax McSeichoshita had busted through a wall and formed a barrier to protect her sister. Reten peeked over the car to see the two Audax sisters approaching the car.
Reten: Oh great! Now there's two of them!
The two run straight at Reten and jump, intending to strike him in mid-air. Unfortunately, Reten phases into the ground and begins landswimming away while Ria and Dangerous are left confused.
Dangerous: Where the fuck did he go!?
Ria: Did he just...fall into the ground?
Chapter II: When Danger Threatens[]
Reten skidded down the corridor, booking it down as Dangerous punched through a wall violently with Ria sitting on her shoulders. Ria shot volleys of syringes as Reten sprinted past a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign. He turns and slides, stopping with his back against a dead end as Dangerous runs at him. He pulls out a INSAS LMG and begins spraying at the two, causing them to panic as Dangerous forms an aura shield to block the bullets. She skids into Reten, causing all 3 to crash into the wall. The LMG skids away, out of Reten's reach as he crawls out of the pile. Dangerous grabs the beorn by the neck and holds him up as she gets ready to clock him.
Reten: Ack!
Dangerous: You're dead.
The fist phases through him as he uses his earring to drop out of her grasp, following it up by stomping on her toes and punching her in the gut. He does a dive, grabbing the gun as he skids along the floor and sliding into a sniper position wherein he begins taking shots at the two. Ria dives behind her sister who pulls up another aura shield. Reten gets to his feet and advances while continuing to fire at the shield, causing it to crack as it takes the force of the bullets. the INSAS runs out of bullets, clicking uselessly before Reten throws it at her. Dangerous charges up aura in one of her hands and runs at Reten, going for a life-ending punch that would probably kill Reten instantly if he didn't phase through her, leaving the Greater Arachnid to slide harmlessly away.
Dangerous: Bastard!
Ria lets out a battlecry as she charges at Reten, who simply side-steps and trips her causing her to slide into her sister. Reten then bolts off through a door, escaping the slippery floor hell.
Spree and Latt Ai are chilling on a platform outside of the base, both on lawnchairs. Reten comes running out, followed by a very, very pissed off Dangerous who's carrying Ria on her shoulders. Spree and Latt Ai both look back.
Spree:Hold on, won't those 2 in the Lifts?
Latt Ai:Fuck, are those the Audax sisters? Where's the-.
She goes to get up before a blade presses gently on her chest, causing her to roll her eyes and lay back down. The camera pans up to show Lady Pashibaru Audax, an armour-clad spider wielding the blade Kingusoromon. Spree gets to his feet, drawing his own blade and very nearly cleaving Pashibaru with it before she blocks at the very last second.
Pashibaru: Oh? Thou wants to try their hand at sword fighting? Very well, have at thee!
The two cross blades repeatedly, fighting quickly as Latt Ai rolls away. Reten jumps onto the platform, drawing an uzi from his coat and turning in one fluid motion before spraying at the two sisters, causing Dangerous to create more aura shields. He glances to the side to see Latt Ai hop up onto the platform looking pissed.
Latt Ai: McSeichoshita! I thought I hired your ass! The hell is this?
Dangerous: Sorry, Latt Ai, Tragedy's paying way more. It's just business.
Latt Ai tears off her suit jacket and shirt, revealing some sort of swirling black and blue mass stretching across her body. It forms into some spiky armour resembling some kind of predatory bird. Although it covers pretty much her entire torso, it noticeably leaves the back of her neck open, revealing a large bandage stretching across it. Dangerous smirks and slams her hand down, being handily blocked by Latt Ai's forearm. She shoved the spider back before firing 5 spikes at her. Dangerous forms an aura shield to quickly block them. Reten turns, seeing that Pashibaru and Spree are still going at it with neither having landed a hit on the other. He pulls a revolver from his jacket and takes aim, firing a shot squarely at her head. Pashibaru swiftly blocks both a slash from Spree and the bullet, turning to Reten with a scoff.
Pashibaru: A blaster? How uncivilized.
Reten: Maybe, but certainly effective!
He begins fanning the hammer, looking in confusion as Pashibaru's spinning blade catches all 5 of the bullets and lays them in a neat row at her feet.
Reten: Tch, now you're just showing off.
He reloads as Spree goes for a sneak attack, actually managing to slash Pashibaru's back before the two begin properly fighting again. He hears screaming from the side and sees Ria charging at him with her syringe gun. He takes aim, then takes pity before pistol-whipping her in the forehead to incapacitate her. Dangerous charges at Latt Ai, pushing her to the edge of the platform before she knees her in the stomach and pushes her back. Dangerous swings with an Aura-charged punch but Latt Ai ducks under her, forms a hammer over her left arm and sends her flying with a strike to the abdomen. Dangerous stumbles to her feet, grinning at Latt Ai with blood in her mouth.
Dangerous: You're pretty good.
Latt Ai smiles back before suddenly reaching out, her arm stretching and grabbing Dangerous by the throat, choking her as she attempts to attack her hand. Pashibaru fires a glob of web at Spree's arm, disarming him and gluing his hand to the wall.
Pashibaru: Tis over, Beorn! I have defeated thee!
Spree glares before reaching down to his prosthetic leg, popping open the compartment and pulling out the Mechahopper. He hits the trigger, popping out the blade before slicing his arm off.
Pashibaru: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!?
Spree lets out a battlecry and charges with Mechahopper in hand, hitting Kingusoromon hard enough to crack the blade. The two push against eachother, Pashibaru looking genuinely concerned at this point. Latt Ai, getting over her shock at whatever the fuck Spree just did, turns back to Dangerous.
Latt Ai: I'll match what Tragedy is paying. With the bonus of not killing you.
Dangerous:...Deal.
She drops Dangerous, who sits up and motions to Pashibaru. Pashi drops her sword and holds up her arms, causing Spree to sheath both his blades and hobble off, using a chunk of fabric he cut off as a tourniquet.
'Pashibaru':...He's so cooool.
Reten runs over to Spree, freaking out.
Reten: DUDE. Those don't grow back!
Spree: ...I know.
Reten: What the fuck were you think-.
???: Perhaps I can answer that!
The bird guy from the Intermission is now standing above the platform, looking down at everyone else.
Reten: Go ahead then, new guy.
???: I am the Sage of Blades, master of combat across the multiverse. I have been training Spree in the art of swordsmanship.
Reten: Oh boy, we're in for a fuckin story aren't we?
Sage of Blades: The Sages were mortals from an ancient universe-
Reten: Here we go...
Sage of Blades: We were selected by a being of power to destroy a winged zombified monster that threatened to consume all life, and we succeeded. With no threat left we soon left our homeworlds, setting out across the universe and eventually across the multiverse to protect life where we could and to share our knowledge.
Reten: That's real neato, but what's it got to do with Spree slef-mutilating?
Sage of Blades: A sacrifce. By showing his willingness to give up his flesh for the sake of justice he will gain great power.
Reten glares, pulling the hammer back on his revolver before Spree puts his hand on his shoulder.
Spree: I-I'm fine, Reten. Please don't shoot the Sage.
Reten grunts, chucking the revolver back into his coat.
Reten: Welp, you're still going to the medbay.
Spree: I'm fi-
Reten hosts Spree onto his shoulder and carries his ass off to the medbay. Pashibaru scoots over to Latt Ai.
Pashibaru: Sooo...What can you tell me about the orange Beorns?
Chapter III: See to Their Demise[]
Several hours after the misunderstanding, the LKC begin to plot their next move! Reten, Spree, the Audax sisters, Norman and Plum stand before Latt Ai in some kind of war room. They're lined up like soldiers as she marches back and forth.
Latt Ai: Its simple stuff, really. We go in full force, occupy the portal room and start grabbing reinforcements from across the space-time continuum. It's so easy a FANT Agent could do it!
Kutaro: Oh, could we?
Latt Ai spins around as Reten pulls a gun on a tall Pangoro with one robot arm. Hes flanked by several FANT agents in SWAT gear and doesn't seem to be bothered by either of them.
Latt Ai: Oh no. Nahnahnahnahnah. FANT aren't swiping another one of MY fucking jobs!
Kutaro: May I remind you that your extralegal band of hired guns continues to exist because we let you?...Besides, Washington said we should…
He huffs, looking away from the human(?)
Kutaro: ...Work together? I unfortunately can't tread on your toes here, Latt Ai. I’m merely providing FANT firepower and making sure you don't break the Geneva Convention again.
Latt Ai groans as Kutaro lights up a cigarette clutched between his teeth. Reten strolls up to him, hands behind his back. Kutaro looks down, cigarette sticking out of his mouth.
Kutaro: Reten. I've never seen an S.I. appear and gain a criminal record so quickly.
Reten: What can I say? I'm good at what I do.
He casually reaches up, arm phasing through his torso before he flicks the cigarette out of his mouth and walks off, leaving a flabbergasted Kutaro to watch it sail through the air.
Reten: Smoking kills, pig!
Kutaro lets out a guttural growl as Latt Ai puts out the cig with her heel.
Latt Ai: Focus, gentlemen. We still dunno what our enemy is doing up there and I wanna know sooner than later. Now let's get a move on, shall we?
Kutaro: I didn't serve in Noah for this shit...
Latt Ai: Weren't you fighting a 3rd world country with superhumans for oil?
Reten: And a magical WMD.
The two turn to Reten, who has moved over to the war room's mini fridge to drink some ketchup.
Kutaro: How did you--
Reten: Knocked a FANT outpost a few months back...Well, knock is a strong word. It was a love tap.
The FANT squad leader sighs, rolling his robotic shoulder. The arm makes an audible click as he turns back to Latt Ai.
Kutaro: So, we’re just gonna strongarm them?
Latt Ai: Not much we can do besides that, I’m afraid. There’s no tactical advantage with the godfortress as the stage; just brute force and on-the-fly cunning. This isn’t a war, Enigen, it’s a shitshow...and I intend to win it.
Latt Ai points back to the group, specifically at Spree.
Latt Ai: You, Plum, Reten and the Sage of Blades guy are out front. I know you all have the firepower to clear through Tragedy’s troops so I need you to get into the portal room as quickly as possible. Kutaro, I want you grabbing your FANT boys and cleaning up. I’ll take some LKC troops and secure the perimeter with the Audax sisters.
Pashibaru: Actuallyyy...Can I go with the beorns?
Latt Ai turns to her, as do her other sisters.
Pashibaru: I--Ahem it would be un-chivalrous of me to hide behind others when I can do battle with our foes head-on!
Latt Ai shrugs, jerking a thumb towards the gathered Beorns.
Latt Ai: Whatever, go hang out with the beorns.
She nods, immediately sidling up to Spree. The beorn in question has been given 2 swords by the Sage of Blades, one which appears to be gold and white versions of Sovereign and the Palm Cutter. He spins them around expertly, unwittingly nearly nicking Pashibaru.
Spree: Oh shit, sorry! I didn’t see you there.
She laughs nervously as he sheaths the swords on his backs.
Pashibaru: Ahhehe...Y-you too.
Reten, still drinking ketchup, has sidled over to Latt Ai.
Reten: You negotiated with the spider ladies pretty easily…
He squints at her, causing her to raise an eyebrow.
Reten: ...What’s your deal with Dangerous?
She huffs, taking a few moments to respond.
Latt Ai:...We dated.
Meanwhile, back on the Godfortress, a large vehicle drops down. The thrusters coming out of its sides fold back in as Doomulus Eye steps out. The Tragedy appears before him, irritated.
The Tragedy: Took you long enough, Eye.
Doomulus Eye: Don't get your...
He glances down.
Doomulus Eye: Cloak in a bunch. I had to shake a trail.
The Tragedy: I don't give a fuck, I just need you to deal with the intruders; all but Reten.
Doomulus Eye: The orange one? What's so special about him?
The Tragedy: Do I pay you to ask questions?
Eye considers pressing the issue further but instead waves at the truck, a disgruntled looking Grimebot with a kalashnikov over his shoulder stepping out. Eye pulls out a simply ridiculous looking cannon and attaches it to his arm stump, admiring the fuck-off huge gun. He smirks as he gives the beorn a mock salute before walking off. The Tragedy stands in the center, cloak billowing in the wind as he waits for Reten to arrive.
----
We cut back to the other guys, who are sitting in what appears to be a futuristically upgraded B-17 Bomber. Reten is sitting across from the Sage of Blades, who is sat beside Plum. Spree and Pashibaru are chilling in the corner of the ship.
Plum: ...We might die.
Reten: That only dawn on you now?
She shakes her head, leaning on her hammer.
Plum: It's just...I've never done this kinda thing before! Undead terrorists is one thing, dream demons is another...We're fighting a GOD! Who looks like the greatest hero on Earth!
Reten holds his hand up, sitting up a bit.
'R'eten: Don't think about it too hard. Besides, don't us beorns have that thing? Depression?
Sage of Blades: Descension.
Reten: Descension. We can just make him mortal and then beat his ass.
He grins at Plum, though she still seems nervous.
Plum: Whatever. Regardless, it's the job. We'll just have to fight him. I just wish we knew what he wants...
Reten shrugs, glancing over to Spree and Pashibaru. He scoots over suspiciously, glaring at Pashibaru. She stops her RIVETING DISCUSSION about the lore of the webcomic Midnight Crew to glance back at him.
Pashibaru: ...Do you mind?
Reten is about to say something when the helicopter rocks, shaking from a rocket being fired at its hull.
Reten: Oh, we're here?
Plum: Let's get hustling, folks!
The group grab their weapons and one by one jump out of the helicopter, down towards groups of the Tragedy's soldiers. Reten lets the gunfire phase through him and returns fire with an LMG, Spree and the Sage of Blades use their swords to block the bullets, Plum pulls a chunk of the ground to use as both a hovering platform and a shield and Pashibaru just kinda ducks behind Spree.
----
The team book it across the godfortress, weaving between attackers and gunfire and mostly focusing on speed over damage on their trek to the portal room. The Tragedy's eyes widen as he seems those fuckers bolt.
The Tragedy: EYE! TARGETS! GETTEM!
Doomulus Eye hops off the head of a mech, taking aim at Reten.
We cut to Nebuel, sitting in the Chair Dimension.
Nebuel: Hey guys, it's Viewer Mail Time!
He pulls out a letter, a single note of Lifelight playing as he does.
Nebuel: This one comes from Tenner, the manifestation of destruction and embodiment of Freedom.
He opens it up, clearing his throat before reading
Nebuel: "Dear Nebuel, aren't you interrupting the story at its most climactic moment, you blight on the multiverse?" Well yes Tenner, yes I am! Keep those letters coming!
The Tragedy teleports in front of Eye, arms folded.
Tragedy: Reten's mine, remember? Shoot one of the others.
The sparkling sighs, taking aim at Plum who geokinetically throws a rock into his face. The rest of the group follow suit, jumping at the two before being shunted back by the Tragedy.
Tragedy: I dont give a shit about all of this, you can kill them after me and Reten fight.
Reten: Jesus, you're really a Stan for me, huh?
Spree: Do you even know what that means?
Reten: Yeah! There was a guy named Stan and he was really annoying.
Pashibaru:...He isn't wrong.
The Tragedy: ENOUGH!
He uses Power Chaotic to shunt everyone besides him and Reten off to the side. He steps forward, forming his sword of lightning with a crackle of thunder before pointing it at the other beorn.
Reten: Not so fast, jackass!
Reten reaches into his jacket, pulling out a brown bag.
Reten: I've got like, 5 Hyper Orbs in here. And I'm gonna use 'em all!
Tragedy: That's not how Hyper Mode wo--
Reten opens the bag, points the open end at Tragedy and punches the bottom, turning it inside out and shooting a plume of magnesium powder into the Tragedy's face, he begins couching and hacking as he tries to get it out of his eyes. Meanwhile, Reten pulls out a pair of shades and a box of matches, popping it open as he puts the glasses on with a grin.
Reten: I know that's not how it works, troglodyte. I just needed to distract you with a canon discrepency.
Spree groans, rising from the ground and rubbing his head. He glances over to see the entrance to the portal room, poking Pashibaru and gesturing for her to follow as he sneaks in. Reten gives a toothy grin, striking the match off his gold tooth and walking away as he flicks the match onto Tragedy's face, setting him off like a flashbang. After he has strolled away like a cool dude for a sufficient amount of time he starts running again, before Tragedy has a chance to smite him.
Doomulus Eye: You could just like, smite him, right?
As the rest of the group duck in, with Plum sliding a chunk of floor up to cover the door before Eye can take aim.
Tragedy: No, it's gotta be fair. I can't kill him unless its fair.
The Doomuli rolls his eyes, swinging his large gunarm over his shoulder.
Duets: The Final Chapter
Reten and the gang have huddled up in the portal room, with Plum providing a stone wall to block off the entrance. Most of the group are sitting around, licking their wounds or trying to think of what to do next. Reten and Norman are huddled over the control panel for the portals, Reten scrawling down several names on a sheet. Kutaro, after taking a long pull of his cigarette and flicking the butt away, storms over to them both.
Kutaro: So, knuckleheads, is there a plan or are we all just waiting to die?
Reten holds up the paper, which contains several names scrawled on in shitty handwriting. He gives a smug grin at Kutaro, wiggling it a bit.
Kutaro: Lisa...Crimzroze...Slime?
Reten: Smile.
Kutaro: Right. I'm seeing a lot of FANT Targets of Interest on here, what exactly are you planning?
Reten: Rallying the troops! We're gonna hop around time and space and grab some willing assistants to go deal with ol' Traj.
Kutaro rolls his eyes, leaning on the controller as Norman punches in the first date.
Kutaro: And how do you expect to convince them?
Reten: Money, favours or good ol' fashioned intimidation.
He winks at Kutaro as the portal opens. The orange beorn pulls out Sol, holding it in both hands as he steps through. Norman squints down, sharply inhaling through his teeth.
Norman: Ahhh shit, I had this thing on upside down.
Year: 0505
Location: In about 1700 years it'll be Seattle.
Reten pops into existence, looking around to see that he is in the center of some sort of ritualistic chalk circle. Six hoodied figures flank him, several muttering in ancient tongues.
Hooded Figure #1: The demon is summoned! Infuse him with the Powers Harmonic!
Reten: The what? I ain't a demon you Mortal Kombat looking motherfu--
Six beams of blue energy strike him, causing him to scream in anguish as a metal plate forms around his neck. His Lamenter Badge rips itself off his coat, attaching to the center as it glows ominously. Reten staggers to his feet, preparing to cap every single last one of these hooded sumbitches when a knight in black iron armor, most notably a helmet MUCH taller than his actual head steps forward, flanked by several knights in similar, less vertical armor.
Hooded Figure #2: Bollocks. It's Horgoth!
Horgoth, King of the Tarnished Legion, Bastard heir to the MacShyr throne, Slayer of the Innishmouth Beast: You there, vile demon! I have bested hundreds of lesser men! I care not for what enchantments these wizards have bestowed upon ye, I will smite you down with forces uni--
Reten shoots him in the head, his tempered steel bullets ripping through his worm iron helmet like a nail hammered through paper. Pretty much everyone screams, for this is the first time anyone has ever heard a gunshot except for Reten.
Reten: Right, is that what you wanted?
One of them shakily nods, the others peering at his weapon. Reten goes to turn away but snaps his claws and spins around, picking up the bullet shell before walking back over to the corpse. He attempts to pull out the bullet, fails and instead rips off his entire head before silently leaving through the re-opening portal. Norman looks embaressed and Kutaro looks like he wishes he was shot in the head.
Norman: ...The control pa-
Reten: The control panel was upside down. I caught that.
Year: 2020
Location: Seattle
Reten steps out of the portal and into a parking lot, looking down at the blue metal that now coated his claws. He seemed to be able to control it with his brain, which was a nice bonus. Guess Norman fucking up with the control panel wasn't so bad. Still, he could experiment with the full extents of his new powers later. The orange beorn cracked his knuckles, which he has now I guess, before phasing into a nearby car. He pushed his key into the slot, the metal morphing to fit the shape of the key and allowing him to start it up. He floors that shit, swerving around and driving out, list in his free hand.
Reten pulls up outside of Sea Legs and Wings, phasing out of the door as he's too lazy to do the key-finger trick with the door every goddamn time he wants to get out. He saunters in, once again not opening the door because when you can phase through matter you abuse it at every possible moment. He eventually spots Juliani milling about, sidling beside her.
Reten: Hey, Juilani right?
Juliani: How do you know my na--
Reten: Not important. I need people with superpowers n' shit to come help me defeat an extradimensional god-like psychopath. You in?
Juliani: You can fuck of-
Reten pulls out a comedically large bag of cash from his coat. Juliani weighs her options for a few seconds.
Juliani: ...How long's this gonna take?
Year: ????
Location: Nebuel's Chair Dimension
Reten carefully steps out of the portal and begins to hop from chair to chair, eventually making his way to Nebuel.
Nebuel: ...Well yes Tenner, yes I am! Keep those letters coming!
Reten lands on the chair beside him, pulling out a piece of paper. On it is written "IOU: One favour" with Reten's chickenscratch-esque signature at the bottom.
Reten: Nebuel...I need to borrow your dinosaur.
Nebuel: I'm listeniing.
Reten returns to the portal room, holding a dog leash leading up to the massive U-Rex, who follows behind obediently. He casually hands the leash to Spree, who's only freaking out a little bit. He then jumps right back into the portal.
Year: 2019
Location: Rainbow Forge
Destiny summons a bunch of orbs.
Destiny: These are called the Hyper Mode Orbs. We found these a while back- but these host a great power that we are still trying to understand. We also know that there are many more out there…
Unten reaches out to grab the blue one when he suddenly drops to the ground, tranquelized by Reten who was standing right behind him. He takes the Orb, glancing at Destiny, Origin and Zingotta as they take up combat stances.
Reten: Chill guys, just need the orb.
The portal opens beneath his feet, allowing him to drop down and gracefully dodge their attacks as he does. He drops out of the portal back on the Godfortress horizontally, jumping off the control panel as Norman rapidly types up another destination back into the portal.
Year: 1969
Location: Bethel, New York
It's Woodstock, baby! We see the Draconian Hinata dancing in the crowd. After some shoving, some barging and just a liiittle smidge of cocaine Reten manages to get beside her.
Reten: Hey!
He snorts a bit, wiping some nose candy off of his face.
Reten: Whoa...Ahem, hey! You're Hinata, right?
Hinata: Who wants to know?
Reten: Nobody federal, don't worry. I'm just getting some people together to fight a God with me and a strong dragon girl seems like a fun pick.
Hinata: ...Fuck it, Canned Heat suck anyway.
Reten nods, the portal opening in the floor as the two jump in. Onlookers presume its just one of the various psychadelics they've taken.
Year: 2020
Location: Godfortress over Nevada
Reten has gone many, many more places than written here, as evident by the small army sitting in the Portal Room. His last portal trip had him flanked by both Sadlisilea and Alcyone, who are both staring daggers at each other through their helmets.
Reten: Play nice you two. You're not being paid to kill each other.
The two bounty hunters join with the soldiers, fighters, dinosaur and warriors that are milling about the portal room. All of their eyes are drawn to Reten when he puts two claws (morphed to be blunt) into his mouth and lets out a shrill whistle. He looks out at the army he's slapped together, tossing the Hyper Orb in his free hand.
Reten: Outside of this room is a pretty big army, lead by some floating blue bastard who wants to...Well, I don't actually know what he wants to do. The point is...
He reaches over and shuts off the portal behind him, the glowing portal energy spasming around the frame dissipating quickly.
Reten: You're fighting him. Now. Well, mainly his army, I'll be dealing with the Tragedy myself...In short! If it isn't in this room, wearing an LKC patch or a FANT badge you kill it dead. Spree! Lead the forces!
Spree perks up, looking a bit confused.
Spree: I uh...I kinda thought you'd be leading the helm? Seems like my-Er, your kinda thing.
The makeshift army begin tuning their weapons and getting ready to charge out. Reten turns the portal back on.
Reten: I know, I gotta grab one more ace in the hole then I'll be out.
He puts his hand on Spree's shoulder, surprising the swordsman.
Reten: You'll be a good leader. Totally.
A grin spreads across Spree's face.
Reten: ...You share a brain with me, after all.
Spree chuckles, lightly punching Reten's shoulder.
Reten: Seriously though, I trust you. It's not like you're organizing a phalanx anyway, these morons will go trigger happy in every direction imaginable after 5 seconds.
He puts one foot through the portal, giving a small salute back at his brother before fully stepping through. Spree turns around, drawing his Alpha Flamberge and marching to the front of the crowd.
Spree: Attack on my word...
The Tragedy stands before his army, Doomulus Eye by his side. The Sparkling trains his gunarm on the door as it slides open, Spree walking out confidently. The beorn is followed closely by the other heroes Reten brought through, their eyes surveying the land and the opposing army before them. Eye lowers his gun, glancing at Tragedy.
Doomulus Eye: I didn't sign up for this.
The Tragedy: Well you're in too deep now. Reten's thorough, he'll track you down even if you run.
After some deliberation Eye silently takes aim again. Spree steps out further, The Tragedy peering at him curiously.
The Tragedy: You're not Reten.
He holds his blade in front of him, glaring as he settles into a fighting stance.
Spree: Exactly.
Tragedy scoffs, holding his arms out.
The Tragedy: Look around you! You may have managed to pull together a ragtag team of heroes but it's NOTHING compared to my hivemind army! I will slaughter your troops, raze your lands, burn this miserable planet to as-
He's interrupted by the Alpha Flamberge's tether hitting his chest, confusing him for a moment. Spree jumps up, flying forward with the sword and stabbing the Beorn right in the chest. The team takes this as a signal to attack, with all hell breaking loose as Aura blasts, fire breath, gunfire and Standing Ripple abilities fly across the Fortress!
The Tragedy pushes Spree's flamberge out through sheer will, the wound closing up shortly afterwards. As Spree backsteps he forms a blade out of thunder, the two clashing shortly after. They exchange blows, never managing to hit eachother as Spree's skill and perseverance matches The Tragedy's rage and raw power. They're forced to step back from one another when U-Rex rampages between them, a sparkling attempting to escape his jaws. While Spree takes the moment to collect himself Tragedy teleports through, grabbing Spree by the neck with his metal hand and crushing his windpipe. He feebly attempts to counter-attack, Tragedy handily disarming him.
The Tragedy: I'll almost regret killing you.
Spree gathers the energy to flip him off, barely able to gasp due to his grip. A sword suddenly bursts through the Tragedy's chest, with the Sage of Blades holding it. The Tragedy drops Spree in confusion, who goes to punch him but is shoved away telekinetically by The Tragedy. He pushes the Sage back, turning around to face him.
Sage of Blades: It is my duty to protect the multiverse and all who reside in it.
He pulls out a light blade, similar to one used by Individuals of similar power.
Sage of Blades: I regret letting your corruption go unchecked for this long.
The Tragedy smirks, settling back into a fighting stance.
The Tragedy: Then stop me.
The two swing at eachother, viciously striking eachother with unnatural speed. Spree isn't quite sure what to do, limping out of range as he catches his breath. He leans forward, spotting a red dot on his shoulder and quickly rolling out of the way as a massive bullet destroys the chunk of floor he was sitting on. He shakily gets to his feet, looking up at Doomulus Eye as he lines up another shot.
Doomulus Eye: Hold sti-...
A la cucaracha horn echoes over the battlefield, causing Doomulus Eye to flinch.
Doomulus Eye: No. No fucking way.
An engine roaring echoes throughout the Godfortress as Slaughterbus comes barrelling out of the portal, knocking the front wall down as he crashes through a door frame too small for him. Reten sticks out of the window, sitting on its frame as he takes aim with a semi-auto assault rifle.
Doomulus Eye: FUCK ME!
Reten: FUCK YOU IS RIGHT!
Reten fires a few rounds at Eye, pinging off his armor as he scrambles to get out of the Slaughterbus's warpath. Reten jumps out of the window, using Cyrium on his feet to shock absorb as his ride barrels into a crowd of enemies. Hama flies out of them as his mechanical T-Rex heads begin feasting on the grunts.
The Tragedy takes advantage of the distraction, kicking the Sage in the stomach and following it up by cutting off his hand and launching him away.
The Tragedy: YOU!
Reten swaggers forward until he's but a few feet away from the Tragedy. Most of the other combatants have steered clear of the general area, as if they sense that shit's gonna go down.
Reten: Me.
The Tragedy: ENOUGH GAMES! ENOUGH SUBTERFUGE! ENOUGH BULLSHIT!
Reten: I agree! Thanks for being so patient. I just needed to grab a few things to even the odds.
He reaches into his pockets and pulls out two objects, Unten's Hyper Orb that he stole and a Glistening Blump. The Cyrium plate on his chest slides down, revealing a slot for the hyper orb that he slots it into. He shoves the Blump into his mouth, hitting his chest as he bites into it. Two transformations take place simultaneously as music bellows from Slaughterbus, right on cue. Reten's skin becomes a glistening gold, and covered in scales as he becomes Ghidoran Reten. Similarly, his coat extends out and becomes more ornate, his weapons becoming imbued with Hyper energy, with Sol becoming a massive under-arm gatling gun and Heartbreaker becoming a shoulder-mounted Railgun as he becomes Hyper Reten. Hyper Ghidoran Reten, bitch.
The Tragedy: How quaint, you're juicing.
Reten: And you're having an identity crisis...Reten.
The Tragedy: W-what!?
Spree: I'm in agreement with him, what?
Reten: You being an Unten smelled fishy to me from the beginning. I don't know the guy personally but he seems too...conscientous to ever off someone, even a deity. Because I'm a narcissist, I thought about what I would do...Which is what you did. Kill the Threat, take her power, use it to royal flush all the other enemies. But then you got high off your own supply, didn't you? And of course, just to make sure...
He smirks, pointing at The Tragedy with a remote. With a flick of a switch The Tragedy's blue fur becomes orange, just like Reten's.
Reten: Nano-Camo, something I developed for the fashion industry years back and re-purposed for disguises. So I really went mad with power, huh? You're not just me...
The Tragedy looks down at his hands, eye twitching as he gets closer and closer to losing his fucking lid.
Reten: You're the me who couldn't handle it.
The Tragedy screams, charging right at Reten. The super-powered Beorn stands his ground, blocking his attack and only being moved back a few inches. The Tragedy's in shock at this, so in shock that he doesn't even bother blocking when Reten opens fire. The bullets and rockets knock him back, at least until he flies through them to try and strike again. Reten jumps back, smirking as Cyrium armor attaches onto his body, just for good measure. Both Beorns are about to attack again when Plum shoots out of the ground, uppercutting The Tragedy before landing besides Reten.
Plum: Nice outfit.
Reten: Nice entrance.
The two smirk, Plum twirling her hammer as Reten aims his guns. Spree comes in besides them, holding the sword the Sage dropped.
Reten: Did you have to pry his hand off of that?
Spree: He helped.
The Tragedy straightens up, glaring at the three of them.
The Tragedy: This was...meant to be...Just me and him.
Reten: You and I both know we were never ones for playing fair. FUCK HIM UP!
The three charge as one. Plum swings her hammer at his side, Reten lunges with his cyrium-enhanced claws and Spree swings his blade in from the side. The Tragedy manages to block Reten but is hit by the other two attacks, which gives Reten the opportunity to fire his guns right into him. The Tragedy screams loudly, grabbing Reten by the collar and slamming him through the ground. Plum and Spree keep up the offensive, not having the luxury to give a shit about Reten getting Undertaker'd through the floor. Unfortunately, Plum and Spree's combined efforts can only barely match The Tragedy's fighting prowess, mainly because any damage they do is undone by his god-like regeneration. Plum and Spree backstep, catching their breath as Tragedy charges up a ball of electricity.
Plum: Fuck me, this is getting futile.
Spree: Getting? It's futile beginning, middle and end!
The Tragedy: You two annoy me. Greatly.
He goes to step forward, but finds that his foot's stuck. He looks down, seeing Reten's hand glowing white. Reten climbs back up as The Tragedy floats the orb aside.
Reten: Hey.
The Tragedy: Running out of ideas, Reten?
Reten: Oh, hardly.
He shoots the electric orb, dispersing it.
Reten: I'm just getting started.
He punches the Tragedy in the face, who is sent spinning due to him not expecting it to hurt. He staggers to his feet, touching his mouth to find blood.
The Tragedy: How did you...?
Reten: Descension! Not something I was told about until my little trip around the multiverse, right in the nick of time.
The Tragedy: That was...THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN HURT IN YEARS!
Reten: Fuck me, you're just getting madder and madder huh?
He screams, charging at Reten who pistol whips him with the gatling gun, discombobulating the ex-God. He looks to Plum and then to Spree, the three simultaneously kicking the Tragedy in the face.
Plum: Let's finish this!
Plum elevates the ground under Tragedy, launching him up before launching him back at Spree and Reten with a swing of her hammer. Reten jumps up, phasing through his chest and slicing his arms off as he does. Spree goes low, swinging his light blade to amputate his legs. As Tragedy continues flying Reten grabs Spree's hand as he swaps from the light blade to the MECHAHOPPER, using his Blump-enhanced strength to throw him at Tragedy. Spree stabs the Beorn in the chest in mid-air, extending the blade to pin him to the wall. He promptly falls over as the alternate universe Reten coughs up blood, limbless and defeated. Reten helps Spree to his feet as the three look at Tragedy.
The Tragedy: None of you know what you've done. I may have lost, but He has other servants, others who will bring you to Him.
Reten: Who?
The Tragedy looks up, his eyes melting into their normal Reten-esque coloration
The Tragedy: God is coming Reten. Capital fucking G.
Reten rolls his eyes as Tragedy mutters about futility and the end times, pulling out a fire axe and decapitating him.
Reten: Well there you have it. Its finally fucking over.
Epilogue: Drive[]
It's been several hours since the death of the Tragedy. FANT and the LKC have joined forces to clean everything up, with FANT taking control of the Godfortress and the LKC taking any surviving weaponry from the Tragedy's forces for research purposes. Reten sits on the hood of his car underneath the fortress, watching several powered people work together to attach a massive chain to the bottom of the fortress. Kutaro moves next to him, hands in his pockets.
Kutaro: You did good today, kid.
Reten: Yeah yeah, I'm a loose cannon but I'm a damn good cop and all that.
Kutaro raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.
Reten: Glad to see you finally chip in.
Kutaro: The hell does that mean?
Reten: I saw the robot arm, you clearly have powers but didn't bother fighting with the rest of us.
Kutaro huffs, folding his arms.
Kutaro: Orders from my superiors were to observe, not engage.
Reten: Ah, so you used us as a proxy? It is the American way, I suppose.
Reten hops up, standing smugly in front of Kutaro.
Reten: Tell ya what, let's cut a deal. You get me some info I want and I won't hold a grudge.
Kutaro: You holding a grudge means little to me or the State.
Reten: It will when I go tell that nice reporter lady a few klicks behind you how FANT did nothing but swoop in to take credit.
Kutaro looks back to see Vicky Victorious and a Channel 17 Camera Team.
Reten: That's Vicky Victorious. I imagine you're familiar with her. She could definitely spin FANT negligence into a smear campaign against your organisation, and be really obnoxious about it too.
Kutaro: You're a conniving little bastard, aren't you?
Reten: Yep! I'm also the one holding the cards here...Oh, I think she's spotted us.
Reten goes to wave at Vicky but his arm is blocked by Kutaro's, who lets out a long sigh.
Kutaro: Let's negotiate.
Reten: Splendid. There's a Dive nearby where most of the LKC guys are hanging out, let's discuss the terms of my blackmail over refreshments.
Reten snickers as he opens the car door, gesturing for Kutaro to enter. The Pangoro hesitantly heads inside as Reten phases into the driver seat.
It's 30 minutes after Reten verbally danced circles around Kutaro, who is now at a payphone trying not to go totally apeshit.
Kutaro: ...Look, he would've blown the whistle otherwise, I HAD to give the energy signature notes. It's fine, we'll just let her deal with him...
Reten himself sits at the bar, Spree on one side and Plum at the other.
Reten: Well, this was a fun adventure but man am I sick of Nevada. Too many dimension-hoppers.
Plum chuckles, taking a swig of her beer stein.
Plum: Well, I have some good news then. Latt Ai. Pulled some strings and had some of your paycheck diverted towards a house, fully paid for.
Reten: Well shit, where?
Plum: Seattle. Its a journey but its the "superhero capital of America", someone like you will do good there. Maybe meet those Firehouse guys.
Reten: Maybe...Will be nice to finally sleep in a bed, eh Spree?
Spree: Well...Not yet.
Reten turns to face Spree, confused.
Reten: Whaddya mean?
Spree: I'm not going with you, Reten. I still have to complete my Sage of Blade training.
Reten leans on the bar, taking pause for a moment.
Reten: ...I hate to see you go but...It'll be good for you. Get some independence. The goal was to make you your own person with less of me in ya, after all.
Spree: Yeah, I'll come back eventually!
Reten: I know you will, man. I'll keep a room for ya, any time you need it.
Reten pats Spree on the back, grinning. Latt Ai appears behind him, drunk and grinning.
Latt Ai: Reteeen! There's my superstar! -hic- How're, man? Must've been fucked up having to kill yourself. Er, other you.
Reten: All part of the job. Not the first time I've faced a metamoral conundrum.
Latt Ai: Haha, that's not even a word.
Reten: Oh yeah! Plum, Spree! Since we're all going our seperate ways...
Reten fishes a crumpled poster out of his pocket, laying it out on the bar. The other two Beorns lean over, seeing that it's an announcement for a World Tournament.
Plum: How the hell have I not heard of this before?
Reten: It doesn't get announced for another few months. I picked it up when I was gathering the forces. Let's all train up and then reunite at this tournament, see who's strongest.
Spree: The battlefield's as good a meeting place as any, I suppose.
Plum: Prize money's good as well, you got yourself a deal, Reten.
Reten: See you two there, then. I hate to say goodbyes so soon but I've still got a few loose ends.
Reten excuses himself from the bar, returning the poster to his coat and pulling out a tattered notebook. He throws it to Kutaro as he passes.
Reten: List of everyone and where/when they belong. Figured since FANT's got their grubby mitts on the Godfortress that it's now your problem.
Kutaro: Fair enough...Be careful following that trail, Reten. It seems to be what-
Reten: Don't worryyy! I know it doesn't seem like it but I am exceedingly competent, especially with this stuff.
Reten turns to face the bar denizens.
Reten: Guess what everyone? FANT's paying for the next round of drinks!
A chorus of cheers echoes out from the bargoers as Reten mockingly salutes Kutaro and walks out.
----
Doomulus Eye's been limping away for 10 minutes. He got the hell out of dodge after Slaughterbus showed up, that combined with the orange Beorn's exuberant powering up seemed like some pretty red flags, and Eye is never caught on the losing side. He's made it back to his Armored Fortress Vehicle, and was just about to open it up when he was hit by Reten's car. The sparkling goes sailing through the air, landing on his face. Reten gets out of the car as Eye takes aim with his arm cannon. Reten scoffs, dashing forward and slicing the entire arm off with his cyrium claws before Eye can steady it. The Ex-Doomuli screams as his arm leaks electrically charged fluid as Reten pulls out a baseball bat. After 10 minutes of off-screen maiming Reten drops the dented bat, opening up the back trailer of the AFV with a grin.
Reten's been driving for 10 minutes, the Soundwave-shaped MP3 player on his dashboard playing a tune as he drives along. His car can be seen loaded into the back area, along with Eye's gun arm. He turns to the seat next to him, where Victory Reten sits.
Victory Reten: We have a lot to discuss about the future, Reten Prime.
Reten rolls his eyes before turning back, where Victory Reten has been replaced with the Tragedy's decapitated head in the chair.
Reten: I guess we do.
The AFV rides along, driving through Nevada under the cover of night.
It's been 40 minutes since Eye got his ass beat. He thinks that it can't get worse as he hobbles along, with one arm and 0 dignity. Then he hears another set of footsteps. He looks back, his metaphorical blood running cold upon seeing a tall, winged figure.
Doomulus Eye: N-no! Please!
Doomulus ???: You're a traitor to the Doomuli. You turned your back on your siblings and for that you must pay.
In a sheer act of desperation Eye pulls a handgun out of his leg and swings it up, though ends up losing his entire hand as a bladed tail swings up quickly to remove it. Rust spreads up to his elbow from his wrist stump, much to Eye's horror.
Doomulus Eye: FUCK! I AM SICK OF LOSING LIMBS!
He attempts to run, but the tail coils around his head, dragging him back to the shadowy figure. He steps forward, revealing himself to be Doomulus Sign.
Doomulus Sign: Your punishment is not at its end, Turncoat.
Sign releases his tail, stabbing it through Eye's chest. As rust spreads from the wound he swings him up, his limbs snapping onto the 4 plates at Sign's back.
Doomulus Sign: You will repent via the Verdicator, as all traitors to the cause do.
The plates move, Eye screaming as what's left of his appendages are brought to their limit. Rust continues to spread from his chest, until the blade is removed.
Doomulus Sign: It is done. Proceed on your way to oblivion.
Doomulus Eye: Suck my statically charged dick you uptight cun-
His tail swipes up as the plates disconnect, Eye falling to the ground in two vertical halves. The two halves of his head slowly flicker as the light leaves them.
Doomulus Sign: One down...
A hardlight HUD appears in front of Sign, showing a globe and the case file image of Doomulus Grime next to it.
Doomulus Sign: Now for the real hunt.
References to other works[]
Lamenter Till I Die - Reten is still in the same general geological area as he and his allies landed in at the end of this Fantendo Fragments episode
Zaxinian Lifts - One of its planets, Odereanz, becomes a fighting ground between Reten and Tragedy's mercs.
Rendered NULL - The fight between Reten and Bo in and around the FANT base crosses over into the Fantendo Smash Bros' adventure temporarily. This is retconned so that Reten (and the mysterious Eldritch being who retcons it) are the only ones with knowledge of the events.
Days of Victory - Reten refers to Unten as "the Threat guy", most likely calling back to his involvement in the fight against The Threat Reten was ignoring.