Mario, where's my dinner?
STRANGER IN THE HOUSE!!! *proceeds to hit Alfredo over the head with a led pipe and a DVD player*
Alfredo and Mario

 "Alfred Hemisphereequatorconnectfour Mario III" or "Alfredo" is the Mario Brother's sister's cousin's aunt's uncle's son's daughter's cousin. He was a hobo until the Mario Bros. found him, but now they don't even remember him, thinking he's a dog. He lives in a dog house in the Mario Bro's yard, surrounded by sqaure pumpkins with feelings and satanic imagery.

Early Years

Alfredo was born on Friday 13th, 1981 during a solar eclipse and a blackout. He grew up in a good home...which was a garbage dump. His bed was an empty dumpster and crap is thrown on him everyday due to the garbageman and his magical singing salmon who spends all day jambin'. As he grew older, Alfredo killed his family by touching a tree with a LEGO brick on it, leaving him homeless. Like in his adult years, Alfredo then decided to put an empty Five Guy's bag over his head (with eyeholes) and decided to rob food from certain locations.

Adult Years

Alfredo is now a hobo, although he's made a friend in the form of a dog named Swampy, who he later found out was a pair of pants. One day, Mario and Luigi found him and decided to take the poor sucker in. After a few days, though, he was put in a dog house by Mario because Mario thought he was "the world's ugliest dog." They raised an army of sqaure pumpkins with satanic imagery. Also they are sqaure. Sometimes, Alfredo tears apart the dog house floor and digs a hole in the dirt to escape into the human world. However, every time he does, the singing salmon who spends all day jambin' attacks him with a boulder and gives him a sliver of bread. He is still living because he's secretly a fucking god.


Alfredo can only dig, rob food places, and be guarded by sqaure pumpkins with satanic imagery. He can also fly, shoot lazers from his eyes, create entirely new beings from thrown-up hot dogs from Weinerschnitzel, and can levitate things as big as the Sun. Other than that, he's as weak as shit.


Alfredo wears shoes with holes in them, which are also muddy. His dark black overalls are black with an orange patch on one side. One of the overall's buttons are broken, making the overalls only have one good strap. Alfredo wears a light blue shirt with torn sleeves. He wears greasy, dirty gloves with holes on the fingers. He has black stringy hair and a droopy black moustache. His wears a blue Mario-like cap with the letter "A" sewn on it. His skin is tan, and his eyes are brown. Sometimes, he wears an empty Five Guy's paper bag over his head to conceal his identity.


Unlike Zario and Eyerio, Alfredo is pretty normal...personality-wise. He has a temper waiting to explode, due to the neglect from his own flesh and blood, which he conceals behind a wall of shyness and bashful-ness. When he's a god, he loses all of those traits, and instead becomes an enigma of insanity.


  • Alfredo once stated that he eats men, but he was lying as told by a man that looked strikingly similar to Alfredo himself.
  • His nickname is based on a type of food.
  • He secretly uses big words he doesn't know the meaning of.
  • He has a brother named Ravioli.