The sun popped its head over the horizon. Light began to flood the rocky Koopa Island. Sunlight broke through Bowser's bedroom window. Light painted Bowser's face. His nose twitched then his eyes popped open. He let out a lion-like yawn and arose from his bed. Bowser stretched and lumbered out of his room.
It was early in the morning; five-thirty to be exact. Bowser walked down to the kitchen. The royal cooks were making breakfast for the castle.
"Morning, King Bowser," cheerfully called one of the Koopa cooks.
"Yeah," grumpily replied Bowser. Bowser grabbed a couple plates and went around the kitchen, putting together his breakfast. He piled his plates with sausage links, pancakes, syrup, bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns. He went into one of the kitchen's ten refrigerators and poured himself some orange juice. He picked up some silverware and went back to his bedroom. He set his breakfast on his desk and began to eat. He stuffed sausage and bacon into his large mouth. Then he wolfed down his pancakes smothered in syrup. Bowser then piled hashbrowns into his mouth. After he was done eating, he washed down the food with his orange juice.
Bowser went into the bathroom to take a shower. Wearing no clothes, Bowser just stepped into the shower and turned the water on. He took quick showers. He slapped some shampoo into his hair, smothered a bar of soap around his body, and let himself rinse off. He got out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off. He ran the hair dryer through his hair and combed it back. He picked up his toothbrush, squirted some toothpaste on it, and scrubbed his teeth down. After brushing, he spit out the foamy toothpaste remain and rinsed his mouth out.
Bowser left the bathroom and went on his computer. He turned the computer. He had the best computer that Koopa technology could offer, but being so computer illiterate, Ludwig often helped him. When his computer had booted, he checked his e-mail. "You have one message," announced the computer. Bowser read who it was from. The mail came from a Koopa Time Share Company.
"Junk mail," murmured Bowser as he deleted the message.
It was 7:30. "Damn kids should be up by now," thought Bowser to himself. He left his room to see the royal secretary, the Koopa who managed all the mailing, phone calls, and messages. "Anything for me?" asked Bowser impatiently.
"Uh," replied the secretary, "you have the morning paper, a credit card bill, some junk mail, and the Koopa Company summer magazine." Bowser took his mail. He threw away the junk mail. He opened his credit card bill and read the statement.
"Good Lord," roared Bowser. "Who spent 7,897 Koopa credits on my credit card?" The whole castle roared with his voice. Koopas were staring at him. "Wendy!" shouted Bowser. Bowser's daughter, Wendy, came running to him.
"Yes, Daddy?" she asked nervously.
"Enlighten me, please," demanded Bowser. "Do you know how nearly eight-thousand Koopa credits were charged to me credit card?"
"Mine were all maxed out," replied Wendy. "I needed to use yours." Bowser's face turned red.
"Do you know how pissed this makes me?!" roared Bowser. "You're grounded from using credit cards for one month and you're gonna pay me back what you owe." A frown spread on Wendy's face. Bowser sternly looked at her. Wendy stormed away and uttered something under her breath. Bowser angrily sighed and walked away.
Bowser had a sudden urge to take a swim. He turned and headed towards the castle pool room. On his way there, Lemmy and Larry ran by, snickering. Kamek was chasing them.
"You little brats!" he screamed. "You stay out of my room! If I get my hands on you —" He stopped upon seeing Bowser. "Um, uh, hello Master," he greeted Bowser, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Where are you going?"
"To take a swim," grunted Bowser.
"I see," replied Kamek. Bowser continued on his way.
Bowser dove off the heavily reinforced diving board into the Olympic-sized pool. A large splash of water rose up. Bowser was alone because swimming wasn't popular with most Koopas. He swam back to the edge of pool. Bowser floated on his back to try and relax. He got off his back and left the pool. He stepped into the spa. The hot water took tension out of all of Bowser's muscles. A powerful jet flowed against his stomach. He was in total ecstasy.
As much as Bowser wanted to stay in the spa, he knew he had royal duties to attend to. He slowly removed himself from the spa and dried off with a towel. Bowser walked out of the pool room. He was in a better mood now. A few Koopas walked by Bowser, standing out of his way to show some respect.
Bowser went into the castle's largest of the ten lounges. In the lounge there was a refrigerator. Bowser opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a can of cola. He opened the can, which gave off a sound of hissing and foaming. He took a sip. The soda was ice cold, just the way Bowser liked it. He quickly drank the rest. He glanced at his watch.
"Damn," he said. "Council meeting."
Bowser hurried to the top of the highest tower in the castle. Kamek and the Magikoopas were already seated. Bowser sat in his throne next to Kamek up front.
"The meeting of the Magikoopa High Council has now began," announced Kamek.
"Mistigala mista gooh," they chanted. "Mistigala mista gooh. Mistigala mista —" Bowser cut them short.
"Enough already," growled Bowser. The Magikoopas became silent. Kamek began speaking about something, but Bowser zoned himself out. He hated these meeting. They took forever and were boring.
~ ~ ~ ~
Lemmy and Larry crept down a dark hallway.
"It's this one," whispered Larry.
"They all should be gone," replied Lemmy. "I think they're having a Council meeting." Bowser's two mischievous sons entered a dark room. Lemmy turned on a light switch. "Dude," he said. "This must be it."
"The Magikoopa magic room," cackled Larry. "Hee, hee, hee." Lemmy looked at some thick-covered spell books.
"How do you read these?" asked Lemmy. "These spells are written in some funky language." Larry paid no attention to him. He was looking at a cabinet with a padlock.
"I wonder what's in here," said Larry. He took one of Wendy's hairpins that he had stolen from her room and began to pick at the lock. Lemmy intently watched his brother. In a matter of minutes, the lock opened.
"Sweet," squeaked Lemmy. Larry opened the cabinet. In it were two magical wands.
"No way!" exclaimed Larry. "Magic wands." Lemmy and Larry each grabbed a wand. "How do ya work one of these things?" asked Larry. He looked but couldn't find a way to use the wand. Larry sighed. He thought about a nice, big stream of energy coming out of the wand and knocking Lemmy over. Suddenly, a stream of energy flowed from the wand and plastered Lemmy.
"Awesome!" exclaimed Lemmy, getting up from the floor. The two Kooplings scurried out of the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
Wendy was in her room painting her nails a crimson red. When she was finished, she picked up her phone to call her best friend, Cybil. She was about to dial, but there was no dial tone.
"Ludwig!" she screamed. "Get off the Internet!" Ludwig's voice returned from his room.
"Not now!" Ludwig snapped. "I'm downloading a game. It'll take a while since Father won't upgrade my modem from a 28.8K to a 56K."
"Now!" screamed Wendy. "I'll come in there." No reply came back. Wendy stormed out of her room and went into Ludwig's room. He and Morton were at the computer. Wendy looked demented. She lunged at Ludwig and began to strangle him.
"Ah!" screamed Ludwig. "Let go!" Wendy continued to choke him. Morton just watched. "Okay, okay," finally gave in Ludwig. He disconnected the Internet. Satisfied, Wendy left and called her friend.
"Hello?" said a voice on the phone.
"Cybil, it's Wendy," said Wendy.
"Wendy!" exclaimed Cybil. "I was just going to call you. Do you want to go to the mall?" "My credit cards aren't good and my daddy found out I used his," unhappily replied Wendy. "Well, maybe that wizard guy has a credit card," suggested Cybil.
"Kamek?" said Wendy. "Yeah right. He's like wack or something. I could check."
"Great!" exclaimed Cybil. "If you can come, meet me at the food court in the mall."
~ ~ ~ ~
Wendy casually walked down a hallway. She came to Kamek's room. She looked around and saw no one so she crept inside. Kamek's room was a mess. There were books, spills, clothes, and papers all over. In the center of the room was a table with a crystal ball on top of it. On the dresser, Wendy saw a wallet. She opened the wallet and looked through it. There was some money. She looked through the cards. There was a castle pass, an ID, a sorcery store membership, and... a Koopa Express Platinum Card!
"Yes!" she shouted. She walked out of the room with the wallet but froze in her tracks. Kamek was coming. She hid behind the door. Kamek walked in.
"Now where did I put that?" asked Kamek to himself. He sorted through a mess of spell books. Kamek's back was turned to Wendy. Wendy tiptoed from behind the door and whisked herself out of the room. Kamek turned around but saw nothing. He shrugged and continued his search.
Wendy ran back to her room. She grabbed her purse and a coat and dashed out of the castle. She strolled through the castle courtyard. A couple of guards stood at the gate. They opened it for Wendy. Outside of the gate was the enormous royal city. Bowser's castle was the center of the royal city. The city was surrounded by an immense wall. Wendy saw a taxi coming. She waved and it stopped for her. She got into the cab.
"Where to?" asked the Goomba cab driver.
"The RC mall," replied Wendy. The Goomba driver drove her through the city to the mall.
Bowser was in his room working on his computer. He was preparing the paychecks for his soldiers, castle workers and servants, and his Magikoopas.
"God, I pay that Kamek too much," sighed Bowser. When he finished making the checks, he e-mailed them to the secretary to print out and give to the payees.
Bowser left his room to get a coffee. He went to the kitchen window. A cook came to him.
"What can I get you?" asked the cook. "Uh, a coffee please," replied Bowser. "Black." The cook quickly returned with his coffee in a 'Long Live King Bowser' coffee mug. Bowser took his coffee and walked around the castle.
~ ~ ~ ~
It was 11:30. Bowser had finished his coffee. At this time, the castle maids came out to clean the castle. Bowser dodged the many vacuums and steam cleaners. He saw a bunch of soldiers at the secretary's desk collecting their paychecks. Kamek was also there getting his paycheck.
"Have you seen my daughter lately?" Bowser asked Kamek.
"No," replied Kamek, "and I can't seem to find my wallet. I went into my room to get the prescription paper for my glasses and when I looked for my wallet, it was gone. I'm going to the mall to get a new pair of spectacles. I was going to charge it, but I guess I'll just have to use cash."
Ludwig came running to Bowser.
"Dad," he asked, "may I have 125 Koopa credits? I need to get a new modem for my computer." "No," snorted Bowser.
"But I've helped you so many times with your computer. It's tyranny not to give me money."
By now, everyone was staring at Bowser. Bowser, not wanting to look bad, gave Ludwig the money he wanted.
"Get outta here, ya little brat," murmured Bowser.
~ ~ ~ ~
It was lunchtime. Bowser wanted to eat out. He went up to the secretary's desk. "I'm going out for lunch," Bowser told the secretary. "Yes, sir," replied the secretary.
Bowser went into his garage and stepped into his Koopa Clown Car. He opened the garage door and drove out into the city. He stopped at the mall to eat.
Bowser walked around the mall. Koopas and Goombas stared at Bowser as he went by, surprised to see their ruler in the mall.
Kamek stopped at the mall's optometry.
"Good morning," greeted a Koopa ophthalmologist. Kamek nodded. He handed the Koopa a piece of paper with his spectacle prescription. "I need a new pair of these," ordered Kamek.
"Coming right up," said the Koopa. The Koopa returned shortly with Kamek's spectacles. "Here you go," said the Koopa. "That'll be 345 credits." Kamek, stunned at the price, handed the Koopa 345 Koopa credits. Kamek put his new spectacles on. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wendy and Cybil at a clothing store. He saw Wendy buy an expensive gown using a Koopa Express Platinum Card. Kamek looked more closely. The card said it belonged to: Chief Magikoopa Kamek. Kamek was outraged. He stormed over to the store. Wendy saw Kamek coming. He looked more pissed than she had ever seen him.
"Uh, bye, bye," said Cybil as she ran off.
"Wendy!" yelled Kamek. "You're in big trouble. Gimme my wallet." Wendy reluctantly gave Kamek his wallet and his credit card. "How much did you spend?" asked Kamek.
"Only 2,364 credits," replied Wendy.
"What?!" screamed Kamek. "If I were your father, I would bust your ass!"
"And that's just what I'm going to do," said Bowser, standing behind Kamek. Bowser's blood was boiling. Kamek left quickly.
"Daddy, I —" Wendy pleaded.
"Shut up!" roared Bowser. "I am so sick of you! Get your ass back to the castle. You can go to your room. No TV, no video games, no computer, no phone, and no leaving the castle for one month!"
"You can't!" screamed Wendy.
"Just watch me," growled Bowser.
Bowser threw Wendy into the back of the Koopa Clown Car and drove back to the castle. He dragged her to her room by her head. He kicked Wendy into her room. He took her TV, video game consoles, and telephone back out with him.
Bowser put Wendy's things in his room. He went to see Kamek. Bowser noticed flashes of light coming from down the hall. He went to investigate. He saw two tables turned over, one on each end of the hall, and Larry and Lemmy shooting at each other from behind the tables with magic wands. "What are you idiots doing?" roared Bowser. The two Koopalings dropped the wands. Bowser picked up his kids by their necks in one hand and picked up the magic wands in his other hand. "Where did you get these?" asked Bowser.
"From the Koopa magic room," replied Larry.
"You went in the magic room?!" growled Bowser. "You know you aren't supposed to be in there."
Bowser threw his two sons into their rooms. He went to the magic room. Kamek was in there, looking at the opened cabinet.
"Bowser!" Kamek exclaimed. "Someone has stolen two magic wands."
"Yeah," replied Bowser, "I know. Larry and Lemmy were playing with them." Kamek put his hand on his forehead and sighed.
Ludwig arrived at a computer store. He walked instead of taking a cab. He went inside and looked at the modems. He saw a US Robotics 56K V.90 modem on sale for 115 credits. Ludwig grabbed the modem and took it up to the cashier. He paid the cashier and left the store.
He returned to the castle and hurried his room. He opened up the box. He then took the casing off his computer. He disconnected the old modem and put the new one in. He put the casing back on the computer and turned it on. After the computer booted up, he put the installation CD in. After he finished installing the modem, he went on the Internet. Things worked much faster now.
"Yes!" said Ludwig.
~ ~ ~ ~
All the Koopalings went exploring in the castle basement. The basement was a dark place full of junk.
"Hey, let's play hide 'n' seek," suggested Roy. The Koopalings all agreed.
"Since you thought of it, brother, you may be it first," said Ludwig.
"Da, dat sucks," complained Roy, "but, den, go hide. I'll count to m'self." Roy began counting. The Koopalings scattered. Lemmy, Larry, and Iggy hid in a large trunk. Wendy hid under a pile of old robes. Morton hid under a table. Ludwig climbed on top of a bookshelf to hide. "Okay, da, um, here I come," announced Roy. Roy looked around. It was hard to see in the darkness. He saw a pile of robes moving up and down. Roy overturned the robes to find Wendy. "Ha, I find you!" exclaimed Roy gleefully. Suddenly, the trunk lid busted open. Lemmy was gasping for air.
"Shouldn't of hid with someone who is claustrophobic," said Larry. Morton let out a loud sneeze.
"Da, who dat?" said Roy.
"Uh," replied Morton. Roy went over to the table.
"Dare ya are," he said. "Who's left?" Just as he finished speaking, the shelf Ludwig was on fell over. Ludwig crashed to the ground.
"Aaahh!" he screamed. "My arm, my arm!" The other Koopalings looked closely at Ludwig's arm. A cracked bone protruded out of the skin. A steady stream of blood flowed from his arm. "I believe I have acquired a compound fracture," cried Ludwig. " I need medical attention immediately. You must get Father." All the Koopalings' faces turned pale.
"Uh, Daddy's not gonna be happy," trembled Larry.
"We're not even supposed to be down here," said Lemmy.
"I like ambulances," stupidly replied Roy.
"You idiots!" screamed Ludwig. "Get Father!"
~ ~ ~ ~
Bowser was in the lounge. He was reading the paper. His kids slowly approached.
"Goddamn it!" roared Bowser. "What did you do now?"
"Uh," began Morton. "We we're all bored. We then looked for something to do. Larry said, 'Let's go in the basement,' then —" "What?!" growled Bowser. "You were in the basement?"
"That's not the worst of it," continued Morton. "We then started to play hide-and-seek. Roy was it. He found —"
"Get to the point!" snarled Bowser.
"Ludwig broke his arm," replied Morton. Bowser let out an agonizing roar. He stormed away.
"That went well," Iggy said.
~ ~ ~ ~
Bowser found his son on the basement floor. Ludwig was still moaning. Bowser called a couple of servants down.
"Take him upstairs," ordered Bowser. The servants gently lifted Ludwig up and carried him upstairs.
Bowser drove his Koopa Clown Car out front. He picked up Ludwig and put him in the back seat. Bowser arrived at the hospital. A couple of Koopa Troopa medics carried Ludwig in on a cot. Bowser followed them in.
Ludwig was taken into a small office and was attended to by the best doctor in the kingdom. Bowser paced around outside the door. The doctor shortly came out of the office. "Well?" asked Bowser.
"Your son has a compound fracture at the fibula," began the doctor. "The bone is badly piercing through the skin. He will need surgery." A surprised expression came over Bowser's face.
"When can you begin?" asked Bowser.
"For you, Master," replied the doctor, "we can get him in right away."
Ludwig was put on a stretcher and rushed to the emergency room. Bowser rushed along at his side. Ludwig looked dreamily up at the ceiling and slightly moaned, being heavily drugged up with morphine.
Bowser looked through a window into the E.R. There were three surgeons. One surgeon put a mask on Ludwig's face and put him to sleep. They began to operate. Bowser anxiously looked through the window.
~ ~ ~ ~
After and hour and a half, Ludwig came out of the surgery room.
"It'll be a little while until he awakens," replied a surgeon. Ludwig had a large cast on his right arm. Ludwig was then rolled into a room.
Bowser sat at Ludwig's bedside for twenty minutes. Ludwig began to wake up.
"Ah!" he yelped as he grabbed his casted arm.
"Are you all right?" asked Bowser.
"Yeah, I think so," replied Ludwig, slightly grimacing.
Bowser returned to the castle at 7:30PM. Kamek approached him.
"What happened?" asked Kamek.
"Ludwig broke his arm," replied Bowser. "They operated on him. He'll be out tomorrow."
Eight o'clock came around. It was time for the castle supper. Bowser went up to the window. "What is it tonight?" asked Bowser.
"Roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots, dinner rolls, and pumpkin pie."
Bowser took his tray of food and went to eat in his room, where he usually ate. He was hungry, since he never got to eat lunch because of Wendy's little credit card fraud situation.
Bowser went into his room and chewed on his food. He had too much stress to deal with. When he had finished his food, he took a pill. It was medication for his stress problem. He had been taking the medication for only a month.
~ ~ ~ ~
It was late at night. Bowser went to check on his kids. They were all asleep. He then decided to get a drink of milk in the kitchen. Bowser turned on the lights. Kamek was in the fridge making a large sub sandwich for himself.
"Kamek," Bowser said. Kamek nearly jumped through the ceiling.
"Oh, my goodness!" exclaimed Kamek. "Who, what?"
"It's just me," assured Bowser. "What are ya doing?"
"Late night snack," replied Kamek. "How do you think we Magikoopas stay up through the night?" "Oh," responded Bowser. Bowser went into the fridge and grabbed a jug of milk. Kamek left the room with his sub, humming a tune to himself. Bowser poured himself a glass of milk and went back to his room. He gulped the milk and set it down by his dinner tray. A knock was heard on the door.
"Castle keeping," called a voice. "Can I take your dinner utensils?" Bowser took his tray and glass to the door and gave it to the Goomba maid. Bowser went over to his night stand and picked up a novel. He began to read.
~ ~ ~ ~
Larry popped his head out of his bedsheets. He looked at his clock. It displayed 12:10 AM.
"Time for the midnight castle romp-around."
Larry left his room and quietly knocked on his siblings' bedroom doors. The Koopalings slowly emerged from their rooms and tiptoed single-file down the hallway.
"What're we gonna hit tonight?" asked Iggy.
"Let's go back to the magic room," suggested Lemmy. The Koopalings agreed.
"That's what you think," called a voice from the shadows. From the shadows emerged Kamek with a stern look on his face.
"Oh, uh, we were —" began Larry.
"I know the story," snapped Kamek.
Kamek led the Koopalings back to their rooms. "Now go to sleep," ordered Kamek. Kamek knew that the Koopalings would come back out after he left, so he wove his wand in each of the Koopalings' rooms and cast a sleeping spell on them that would last until morning. The Koopalings were instantly asleep. "Now, about that sub," began Kamek. He hurried down the hall to his room.
~ ~ ~ ~
Bowser put a bookmark in his book and shut it.
"That's enough of that." Bowser set his book down and went out onto his balcony. He overlooked the large royal city. A cool breeze swept across his face. Bowser sighed with mixed emotions and went back to his bedroom and turned the lights off. He walked back to his bed, pulled the covers out of the way, and laid down. He pulled his covers back up and looked up at the ceiling. He thought a few things to himself. He thought of his childhood. He remembered Kamek and a few other things. Bowser's eyes slowly closed and then all was dark. Bowser silently snored. A beam of light from the moon found its way into the room and shined on a picture of Bowser, illuminating the whole picture, but the beam was broken by a cloud.
...Or Is It?